Upon picking up their copies of Variety this morning and seeing the above image, subscribers to the trade publication would discover that today is Brett Ratner, Billion Dollar Director Day, a joyous celebration of the ten-figure gross accumulated by the preternaturally hacky director/local bon vivant's seven feature films, an unassailable record of success that ensures that the still-creatively-evolving 38-year-old will have the opportunity to helm lucrative Rush Hour sequels well into the next decade.

 

Today's tribute is, of course, supported by the generous contributions of Ratner's business associates, proud father figures, and happy, filthy rich talent, who have purchased a staggering number of full-page expressions of their undying devotion to the enormous sums of money he's earned them. We'll be bringing you highlights from the issue all day long, or at least until we faint from the psychological overload of watching the entire town line up to humbly fellate the man who's broken all of his idol's records. [Image via Digital Variety]

• Ratner boasts box office prowess [Variety]

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