Dream Finally Over For Britney and K-Fed; Nightmare Continues For Their Jointly Neglected Kids

Gentlemen, hide your clippers; ladies, clean out your grease traps: Britney Spears and Kevin Federline are finally legally single. And despite K-Fed’s alleged fury that she took the kids to Vegas without permission (why learn boring counting when you can learn to count cards?), the semi-professional sperminator apparently experienced a fit of amnesia and agreed to share custody of the kids:

It’s amazing [Spears' lawyer] was able to get a 50/50 custody split given Brit’s craziness, which included wild partying, erratic behaviour and a stint in rehab. This type of custody arrangement is typically reserved for a stable couple.

But all is not over! We’re told neither Brit nor Fed-Ex are happy with the custody arrangement, and either of them can go back to court and ask for a change. On top of that, Kevin won’t even speak to Spears, so they will probably be back in court asking the judge to make decisions about child rearing.

While K-Fed scribbles a sole custody pro/con list on the nearest Taco Bell wrapper — pro: huge alimony; con: babies not tall enough to work the wet-bar — we can only hope that E! will send all the old Simple Life cameras down to the courthouse to document this potentially magical Judge Judy/Mr. Belvedere hybrid. We’re eager to see touching footage of K-Fed begging the judge for advice on potty-training, whether Crocs for Kids are socially acceptable, and whether child-labour laws cover teaching your toddlers how to do their own goddamn laundry.

• Britney & K-Fed Officially Kaput [TMZ.com]
• Britney ‘breaks custody terms’ [news24.com]