Chewbacca On The Run After Alleged Sexual Assault Of Marilyn Monroe

The all-too-fragile peace of the Hollywood Walk of Fame impersonator community has once again been shattered by an alleged act of character-on-character violence, with Fake Marilyn Monroe accusing Handsy Chewbacca of assaulting her during an otherwise routine tourist shakedown. Reports our local CBS affiliate on the disturbing attack of a ersatz American icon sure to rock the Chinese Theatre to its very foundation:

A Chewbacca impersonator is accused of sexually assaulting a Marilyn Monroe impersonator in front of the Kodak Theatre in Hollywood in June. The wookie then reportedly evaded arrest, police said.

According to an officer with the LAPD, Chewbacca allegedly took the platinum-coiffed actress’s hand and placed it on his private parts as the characters performed for tips from tourists. [...]

Chewbacca, whose real name was not available, fled before police arrived, Torres said.

However, Torres is sure the hairy assailant would be caught soon.

As of press time, it was still unknown if this Chewbacca was the same one who head-butted a mouthy tour guide back in February and who more recently was involved in Capeless Batman’s altercation with some Porta-Potty-hogging picketers. Even without this information, we trust that local law enforcement will soon capture the fugitive Wookie, who likely won’t be able to resist the temptation of returning to the scene of the crime and offering tourists the opportunity to take a Polaroid of their favourite Star Wars sidekick grabbing a handful of Busty Wonder Woman’s Amazonian cleavage for a mere five dollars.

• Chewbacca Allegedly Assaults Marilyn In Hollywood [CBS2.com]
• Chewbacca wanted for sexual assaulting Marilyn Monroe [Blogging.la]