Thursday, July 26, 2007

Less Famous Baldwin Blames His Problems On Everyone But Himself

10:11AM Busty St Clair | “Actor” Daniel Baldwin, aka Alec Badwin’s less successful younger brother – reckons “shady” figures encourage celebrities to develop life-threatening and financial-crippling afflictions and addictions. In case you’re not aware, Danny Baldwin has spent the past 18 years battling a cocaine addiction, and has been in and out of rehab for nine years. Take that Lindsay! You’ve got a long way to go yet! On Larry King Live this week, he blamed “parasites” for his problems and those of every other immature, self-indulgent drug-addicted celebrity in Hollywood. “People that live in the public eye are approached more readily by those trying to enable them and trying to help them. I have a friend who plays in the NBA. He had a gambling problem and the hotels in Las Vegas would send their jet for him when he was playing, saying ‘by the way, sir, if you want we’ll fly you back,’and pit stop him in Vegas so that he would gamble. A lot of similar things happen to celebrities because people want to come up and give them a bag of cocaine. They want them to come and hang out with them.” Right. So what he’s really saying is that celebrities are all suffering from a disability – they’re physically unable to say “fuck off.” PS – We don’t know anyone who would readily hand over a bag of cocaine to a celebrity. That stuff costs a bomb! We plebs don’t make enough money to be throwing party favours around like that. More »

JK Rowling Already Plotting Ways To Keep The Bucks Rolling In

10:04AM Busty St Clair | Now that JK Rowling’s last Harry Potter books is out, the world’s richest author is already planning ways to keep the money coming in. Apparently she’s planning to pen an encyclopedia about the seven Harry Potter books and the movie franchise. The British author has just released the seventh and final Potter book, Harry Potter & The Deathly Hallows, but she plans to wrap up the series with an A to Z account of all things Potter. She says, “There’s always been bits that I knew about characters that didn’t make the final cuts because they weren’t that relevant.” After that, we can expect a series of six books that details the slightly less exciting things that happened in between the time periods covered in each of the original seven books, plus a Harry Potter biography and then a tell-all memoir from Hermione, which will be followed by a Hermione spin-off series. More »

Jason Donovan Watch Continues

9:38AM Jess McGuire | As part of our ongoing inexplicable coverage of all things Jason Donovan, we’d like to draw your attention to the following story. Singer Jason Donovan stepped down from his stage role in Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor Dreamcoat, because he feared he would end up like ageing British crooner Sir Cliff Richard. The former Neighbours actor and ’80s pop hunk enjoyed his time as the lead role in Sir Andrew Lloyd Webber’s London theatre production of the biblical tale during the early 1990s, but felt he had to quit before he became typecast. He says, “The adulation and the money were incredible. But I didn’t want to be a new Cliff Richard in a satin suit any more. I didn’t want to stay complacent on one level and not be individual. “I want to do different things in my life, and I don’t want to be perceived as the one character. God bless Cliff Richard but that was where I was going.” It’s rather sweet that Jason thought he’d be typecast as Joseph of all people, especially when the majority of the theatre audience watching him strut his stuff on the boards at the time simply thought that Scott Robinson had developed a sudden taste for haute couture and musical theatre, and split their attention between watching Jim’s youngest son belt out the tunes and keeping a vigilant eye on the side of the stage in the vain hope Charlene, Mike, or at the very bloody least Plain Jane Superbrain might be waiting in the wings ready to make a special cameo appearance. More »

Queen Guitarist Turns Hand To Astrophysics

6:28AM Busty St Clair | Thirty years after dropping out of college to form Queen, Brian May is completing his doctorate in astrophysics. May is due to submit his thesis — Radial Velocities in the Zodiacal Dust Cloud — to supervisors at Imperial College London within the next two weeks. Jebus Christ. Does that not sound like the drug and alcohol affected ramblings of [insert Woodstock-era muso here]? In actually sounds like a lyric from a Wolfmother sing. Or even like something Phil Jameison might have dreamed up during his best* years. Who’d have thought… all this time we assumed magical mashrooms and super strength weed were the blame for giving us the most bizzarre song names in the histry of music — now it turns out that perhaps science was to blame. May was an astrophysics student at Imperial College in 1970 when he joined Freddie Mercury and Roger Taylor to form Queen. He says his interest in the stars is perfectly compatible with his musical pursuits. “I enjoy having different facets to my life,” he said. But not, we assume, different hairstyles. *quite clearly not his best years. More »