Wednesday, July 25, 2007
Short Ends: Spotlight Hog Matt Stealing All Of Ben’s Corn-Suited Thunder
10:00AM Defamer Hollywood | · Typical: Ben’s the one running around in the stupid corn costume, but Matt’s the one getting all the press. · Lindsay Lohan’s recent streak of trouble calls to mind the heyday of one of Hollywood’s most accomplished fuck-ups. · Just because we feel like Paris Hilton’s been a little starved for attention today, here you go. · Popular Mechanics looks at how close science is to replicating some of Harry Potter’s favourite magical toys. · Here’s a list of the six trippiest scenes culled from The Simpsons‘ long, proud tradition of drug humour. The Guatemalan Insanity Peppers clip is a fine choice for #1. More »
How Fucked Is Lindsay Lohan? Legal Experts Weigh In
9:32AM Defamer Hollywood | While we’re all undoubtedly exhausted from the wall-to-wall coverage of Lindsay Lohan’s combination DUI/coke-in-pants arrest, we would be remiss if we did not offer some discussion of the possible legal consequences of the troubledâ„¢ starlet’s Denali-racing, second-assistant-stalking transgressions. Let the Lohan FuckageWatch begin with this excerpt from an ABC News examination of celebrity jurisprudence in a post-Hilton Los Angeles: Driving with a suspended licence, when the suspension was for drunken driving, carries a mandatory 10-day jail sentence under California law. But the drug charges lodged against Lohan raise the possibility of significant jail time, though lawyers said the exact amount would be impossible to predict. “The cocaine takes it to a new level. That’s a felony,” said criminal defence attorney Neil Shouse, a former assistant district attorney. “This is a very bad situation for Lindsay.” More »
This Just In: Your Favourite TV Stars Are Wildly Overpaid
8:08AM Defamer Hollywood | If the phrase “Charlie Sheen money” calls to mind his reported $US350,000 per episode Two and a Half Men salary as readily as it might the escort-related expenditures of his infamously priapic, cheerleader-devouring bachelorhood, chances are you have already had ample opportunity to be disgusted by the excessive remuneration of your favourite TV personalities. But for those of you prepared to be appalled anew, a press release has compiled a list of boob-tube salaries that will be included in a more comprehensive accounting in the upcoming issue of TV Guide. Such as: · OPRAH: $US260 million per year (includes what she earns from Rachael Ray, Dr. Phil, and other programs) · SIMON COWELL: $US45 million per year (for American Idol and other projects) · JUDGE JUDY: $US30 million per year · KATIE COURIC: $US15 million per year · ZACH BRAFF: $US6.3 million (for 18 episodes of Scrubs next season) After the jump, more lists of the staggering sums being lavished upon the stars of popular sitcoms, widely franchised police procedurals, and daytime perversions of small-claims-court justice. Enjoy: More »
All The Sad, Embarrassing Things Britney Spears Did At Her ‘OK!’ Cover Shoot
7:30AM Defamer Hollywood | Britney Spears’ three-part comeback plan (Phase One: Stage a series of buzz-building, 12-minute concerts. Phase Two: Chew on hair extensions, neglect children. Phase Three: Personally arrange to sell triumphant comeback exclusive to celebrity glossy!) has hit a major snag, as an OK! magazine cover shoot reportedly devolved into a tragic display of anatomical self-discovery, public urination, and couture-sullying pooper-scooping. Laineygossip.com reports: [New puppy] London pissed and shat all over the place. And who picked up the poop? Britney picked up the poop…allegedly mopping it up with a Chanel dress. A Chanel dress. [...] Britney allegedly wanders around babbling like a baby – as in baby talk. Half the time her head can’t stay straight, lolling around on her neck like a bobble. I’m told she also has no boundaries and allegedly, several times, when she had to pee, even though one of the washrooms was being used as a staging area, she would drop trou and make a tinkle WITHOUT CLOSING THE DOOR and an entire crew working around her. [...] The girl allegedly can’t stop touching herself. As in fondling her breasts, rubbing between her legs…She apparently goes about it absent-mindedly, as if not aware she’s not alone and at the same time, genuinely curious about her own body, described to me as “like a 5 year old discovering her genitalia for the first time”. Allegedly of course. More »
It’s Been Like Ten Minutes Since The Last Update, So…
6:42AM Defamer Hollywood | Correcting the record on the widespread misidentification of the catalyst of Lindsay Lohan’s boozy chase through Santa Monica as Lohan’s “assistant,” TMZ can now exclusively clarify that it was Lohan’s second assistant whose firing/quitting was at the centre of the brouhaha. Hold on, Lohan has TWO assistants? This matter definitely warrants further investigation. Developing! [TMZ] More »
Trade Roundup: Jailhouse Karaoke, Counting Celebrities, And Blood-Soaked Wedding Gowns
6:30AM Defamer Hollywood | · Critic-proof director/producer Brian Robbins takes on Jailhouse Rock, a film based on the real-life story of an American Idol-like signing competition (the “Inmate Idle Singing Con-Test”) that took place in an Arizona jail, for Disney. While it’s probably too soon to think about casting, it’s hard not to imagine Robbins throwing some orange jumpsuits on his Wild Hogs dream team and letting them loose on renditions of “Summer Lovin’” and “Paradise by the Dashboard Lights.” Projected opening weekend gross: $US42 million. [Variety] · Ben Stiller, Jamie Foxx, Jennifer Hudson, Paulie Walnuts, Bobby Baccala, Alicia Keys,and Sheryl Crow are among those who’ve signed up for Elmo’s Christmas Countdown, a one-hour Muppets holiday special in which the famous will help the ticklish star count down the days to Jesus’s birth. [THR] · HBO renews Big Love for a third, 12-episode season, which should be completed well in advance of a possible strike. In other HBO news, John from Cincinnati still makes no fucking sense. [Variety] · Fox wins another uneventful, creatively barren, rerun-heavy summer Monday night behind Hell’s Kitchen and Are You Smarter Than a 5th Grader? [THR] · ABC greenlights Here Come the Newlyweds, a reality competition series in which six newly married couples fight to the death (or at least to the divorce) over a steadily increasing cash prize. [Variety] More »
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‘Howl (For Lindsay Lohan)’ And Other Relapse Developments
6:00AM Defamer Hollywood | Because keeping up with every story relating to Lindsay Lohan’s DUI Relapse Extravanganza is as difficult as having to fish out a baggie of blow from the front pocket of a snug pair of skinny jeans while street racing a Denali, we summarise the latest developments in conveniently abridged, round-up fashion: · “I have seen the best actresses of my generation destroyed by madness-starving, hysterical, drunk, driving through Beverly Hills at dawn looking for a place to crash.” For more Ginsbergian musings on the sorry state of Hollywood starletdom, hear the rest of “HOWL (For Lindsay Lohan)” above. [spoutblog] · People.com refuses to weigh in definitively on what this might mean for future job prospects, including upcoming tango movie Dare to Love Me, which was all set to take advantage of the upper-body strength the actress had developed swinging off stripper poles in the similarly first-person titled, I Know Who Killed Me. [People] · An exclusive with Lindsay’s grandmother (on her father’s side–lay Freudian blame accordingly) reveals the Long Island-based Marilyn Lohan to be “very upset about the whole thing.” [24/Sizzler] More »
Your Own Debra Messing Miniseries (And Maybe A Nice Divorce Settlement) Is The Best Revenge
5:00AM Defamer Hollywood | “Grazer’s ex-wife Gigi also showed up at L.A.’s Museum of Natural History for the party, and when photographers called her ‘Mrs. Grazer,’ she corrected them, saying, ‘It’s “Miss” now’. ‘And I’m really rich,’ she added as she stepped into her car.” [Open All Night] More »
Unanswered Questions Of the Lohan DUI Arrest
4:31AM Defamer Hollywood | By the time you read these words, Lindsay Lohan will already be back in rehab, but allow us to rewind a bit. At this morning’s press conference at the Santa Monica Police Department following the DUI arrest, an intriguing wrinkle to the usual “troubled starlet gets drunk and coked up, then initiates a high speed chase” story was revealed: The panicked driver of the SUV being pursued by the actress was the mother of Lohan’s personal assistant, whose resignation earlier in the evening seems to have precipitated the events that you will be reading about all day long. Reports the LAT: Lohan, already facing a drunken-driving charge in Beverly Hills, was stopped in the 1800 block of Main Street near the police station after officers said the mother of Lohan’s assistant reported a car chase, Lt. Alex Padilla said. Lohan, 21, was allegedly chasing the assistant’s mother, and the woman feared for her safety, Padilla said. More »
