Saturday, July 21, 2007
‘Thriller’: The Filipino Prison Version
10:15AM Defamer Hollywood | As is our wont on a lazy summer Friday, when we suspect that most of you have abandoned us for the freedom of a two-and-a-half-day weekend, we’ll pass along something for no better reason than it brings a small amount of joy into our dark, dark little lives. How does roughly 1,500 inmates at a Filipino prison performing a perfectly choreographed Thriller routine strike you? It’s strike us as pretty f’ing amazing. “Thriller” [YouTube, via Gawker] More »
Lindsay Lohan Loses Gig, Quietly Turns Herself Over To Police
10:00AM Defamer Hollywood | While the world will soon be treated to Lindsay Lohan’s sure-to-be acclaimed performance as a murdered stripper (remember, it’s important that all evidence of acting talent be amplified so that her personal problems feel tinged with the tragedy of a squandered gift), we may never get to see the Oscar-caliber work she surely would’ve turned in as a con-lady who slaughters the homeless to collect on their insurance policies. According to today’s Page Six, Poor Things, the project that believed in Lohan’s ability so strongly that it was willing to alter its production schedule to accommodate her Promises hiatus, has been shut down, with at least one crew member blaming the star’s post-rehab trip to Vegas for the crushing of their cinematic dreams: Lohan was supposed to start filming “Poor Things” with Shirley MacLaine when she was out of rehab. But last week, product vendors including GE and Dell computers, who had been promised placement in the movie in exchange for cash, got a disturbing e-mail from set designer Fontaine Beauchamp Hebb. More »
Bang Her Like Beckham
9:45AM Defamer Hollywood | “ If you look like David Beckham, let’s have a NSA affair! – w4m – 25 This sounds crazy, but I’m nuts for David Beckham. He’s so so cute. And I’ve been daydreaming that his clone will arrive. Tonight is free. Can my David Beckham roleplay come true? Me: Cute, bubbly, trim, great natural boobies. I don’t look like Posh Spice but I get no complaints. 5′7″ Long brown hair, sexually adventurous. Fun, good in the sack. I work out. I also have a good day job that leaves me with plenty of energy for the night. Send pics, mine gets yours. And let’s talk.” [Craigslist], More »
Steven Spielberg To Finally Twist The Chinese Government’s Arm On Darfur
9:40AM Defamer Hollywood | While universally recognised as a deity in the Hollywood community, Steven Spielberg is hardly ever taken to task for squandering his limitless God-powers by using his rainbow-spewing Happy Ending Machine to neatly wrap up his movies’ third act problems instead of pointing it in the direction of a war-torn Third World nation to cease its suffering. (In his defence, he hasn’t pulled any celestial strings to salvage On the Lot’s ratings, either.) But Slate’s Kim Masters writes that a recent bit of well-publicised heresy by Mia Farrow, who warned that Spielberg would become the “Leni Riefenstahl of the Beijing Games” by taking a position as an adviser to the Olympics if he didn’t use his influence to decry China’s support of the Sudanese government, seems to have moved the almighty auteur to intercede: On a far more somber and urgent note, Spielberg must also figure out what to do about Darfur. That may not seem to make sense at a glance but it does in light of his role as an artistic adviser to the Chinese for the ‘08 Olympics. The Chinese have clout in Khartoum, and Spielberg, as fate would have it, has influence in China. Bizarrely, Spielberg may be one of the most powerful people in the world when it comes to pressuring the Chinese to lean on the Sudanese government. More »
Even Famewhore Socialite Hotel Heiresses On Their Way To Jail Have Feelings Dept.
9:30AM Defamer Hollywood | Sarah Silverman expresses remorse over hurting Paris Hilton’s feelings at the MTV Movie Awards, where Hilton was just innocently sneaking in one more chance at free camera time before heading off to jail: “I thought, ‘She’s got to know there’s going to be a joke about her,’ so I went for it. But then I looked down and saw a man in her face with a camera. I was there to be funny and I was, but that doesn’t mean I can’t feel bad about it.” We hope Silverman is just setting up Paris for a gag where she shows up at her house with a jail cell made up of penises instead of iron bars. [FemaleFirst] More »
Hiding Harry Potter
9:15AM Defamer Hollywood | Since we at Defamer realise that the only thing worse than the crippling shame of being spotted with a book in Los Angeles is being seen with a children’s book in our fine, reading-averse city – even if that book will one day become a mega-grossing motion picture – we’re happy to pass along a link to this gallery of alternate covers for the new Harry Potter tome that might lessen the humiliation of being caught in the act of catching up with the goings-on at Hogwarts. While the featured Fuck Wars is a good choice, we also recommend Memoirs of a Shark Fucker, whose title just might confuse the gangs of cultural enforcers who roam L.A. looking to geld anyone flouting their disobedience of local anti-literacy codes long enough for you to beat a hasty escape. Harry Potter Book Disguises [PointlessWasteofTime.com] More »
Inside The Redstones’ Battle For Control Of Viacom
9:00AM Defamer Hollywood | Having dispatched nearly all of the greedy blood relations looking to get their filthy little hands on the staggering fortune he’s accumulated over centuries of hard work, immortal Viacom pharaoh Sumner Redstone may now find himself locked in battle with his most formidable foe to date. Failing to show adequate appreciation for the precious gift of life he bestowed upon her decades ago, daughter Shari Redstone is reportedly resisting her father’s efforts to oust her from the corporate empire she hoped to one day inherit. The LAT reports on the rumoured Viacom succession fight: Unlike the other disputes, however, the father-daughter feud clouds the succession picture. For years, it was practically a given that Shari Redstone would run the company after her father’s death. Instead, fractures started showing. “She’d be in good stead sometimes and sometimes not,” a person familiar with the situation said. “That was the roller coaster she was riding.” More »
‘Adam Sandler Tops Himself with Chuck & Larry’: A Review Round-Up
8:45AM Defamer Hollywood | From the moment Universal released the trailer for I Now Pronounce You Chuck And Larry – an edgier Adam Sandler vehicle in which he plays a fireman who comes to realise that his sexual and emotional needs can only be fully satisfied by the bear community – we were confident that the studio had not just a commercial and critical hit on their hands, but a watershed contribution to the Queer cinema canon. Shockingly, the nation’s critics have completely missed the movie’s point. What follows is a selection of headlines from today’s reviews for this deeply misunderstood film, proving, at the very least, that not all of the marriage puns were used up trashing Licence to Wed: · Adam Sandler Tops Himself with Chuck & Larry, Alas [palmbeachpost.com] · ‘Chuck and Larry’ gay, not funny [StarTribune.com] · ‘Chuck & Larry’ will lead you straight to exit [ABQTrib.com] More »Around The Bayniverse
8:30AM Defamer Hollywood | Giant Fucking Pets Are Coming [MichaelBay.com] More »
