Is it just us, or is the media beat-up over the daily life of fashion models getting a little tiresome?

The skinny model thing isn't getting anywhere, apparently because the Femme-Nazi morons who thinks models are to blame for the size of their thighs can't actually find an Australian anorexic model to further their pointless cause.

So what's next? Young models are now in their sights, because, among other things, they make the rest of us look old.

THE fashion industry's overarching body has supported restrictions on models younger than 16 working at fashion shows.

The manager of the Australian Fashion Council, Zoe Edquist, said events such as Australian Fashion Week and the Melbourne Fashion Festival were an "adult environment" and younger teen models should be chaperoned.

She was responding to an interim report released this week by the British fashion industry panel's Model Health Inquiry that recommended banning models under 16 for London Fashion Week.

Enter the ever-so-reliable SMH POLL.

So essentially, there's a problem with letting a 15-year old pony step down a catwalk for 15 seconds, but it's ok for stage mums to dress their babies up as showgirls to win money, and force their kids to be in movies. Because really, isn't modeling really just a mode of performance?

Besides, really, it's the fashion shoots these Femme-Nazis should be worried about, not the shows. The shows take place in front of hundreds of people. A shoot takes place in front of one photographer. Considering how much the "industry" beats off over Terry Richardson's "genius", that's a little more worrying, doncha think?

Chanel's marketing department deserves a round of applause.

For surely, if it's true, this yarn in the Daily Mail is one the slickest moves ever. See, according to "well placed sources" 17-year old Emma Watson, gazzillionaire child-star who'll never have to work a day in her adult life thanks to JK Rowling, is about to be unveiled as the new face of Chanel.

Emma has a burgeoning interest in designer fashion. Some Potter fans may be taken by surprise to discover that she has been quietly signed up by the model agency Storm, which launched the career of Kate Moss.

"She is on our books," the agency confirmed, but would say no more about what work it may have lined up for Emma.

KER-CHING.

And how Chanel must be salivating at the prospect of harnessing the formidable power that Emma Watson has over the teen market. She was voted Britain's greatest female role model in a magazine poll earlier this year, ahead of Keira Knightley and Kate Moss.

KER-CHING! KER-CHING KER-CHING KER-CHING!

Role model, indeed! "Pester Power" just got a whole lot more expensive. Once upon a time it was a pair of Punky Brewster Bubblegummers, now girls will be begging mummy and daddy for a quilted black Chanel monogram bag with chain detailing and a pink and white silk blend, signature boucle three piece suit.

On the other hand, Emily Watson in Chanel is a far better role model for girls than those Pussy Cat Tramps Trolls Dolls in their lace garters and pasties whoring around LA.

Premier Steve Bracks' beloved son Nick has been charged with drink driving after being involved in a car crash in Williamstown. Reports theage.com.au -

Nick Bracks was charged after an early morning crash that put a friend in hospital, radio 3AW reports. A Victoria Police spokeswoman said a Williamstown man had been involved in a crash at 4.40am in the inner-western suburb.

A Metropolitan Ambulance Service spokeswoman said a passenger was treated at the scene but refused to go to hospital. "Victoria Police can confirm a 20-year-old male driver was involved in a single vehicle collision on Melbourne Road at the intersection of Hosking Street. As a result of the collision, a male passenger suffered minor injuries...The driver accompanied police to Altona North police station, where he underwent a breath test."

The spokeswoman said the driver, a P-plater, would be charged on summons with exceeding the 0.0 alcohol limit and "related traffic offences".

Obviously the police have gotten this completely wrong, and some other shady figure is to blame for the crash. After all, Nick does have a history of having his drink spiked by mysterious figures.

Remember his time at Schoolies?

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We can, with all honesty, assure you that the last thing we thought we'd be writing about this morning was a disturbing incident in Metallica guitarist Kirk Hammett's childhood involving a man, a dog, and some thrusting.

Metallica guitarist Kirk Hammett is still scarred by the childhood memory of his neighbour having sex with his dog. The rocker was just 11 when stumbled across his pet dog Tippy being penetrated by his next door neighbour. He tells Britain's Q magazine, "The guy took down his pants and started having sex with the dog! I didn't know whether to laugh or cry. "When he got up, I just took the dog and left. She was still wagging her tail."

We like that Hammett waited for them to finish before approaching Tippy, who from what we can gather - tail still wagging gleefully - had a lovely time, the tramp.

Slightly off topic, we are reminded of our favourite quote from thoroughly wrong British comedy Nighty Night.

(Jill's dog tries to hump Cath)
CATH - I just had a rather uncomfortable experience with a German Shepherd when I was 9. He was very persistent.
JILL - Were you wearing a skirt?
CATH - Well yes, a party dress
JILL - So you can't lead them on and then cry rape Cath!

There we were ordering a bathtub from eBay in preparation for our twenty-seventh birthday/death day (how Shakespearean!) next March, all in the vain hope that we'd go out in a suitably Jim Morrison-y style*, and now it looks as though the whole thing was a waste of time!

Why, you ask? Well, it's suddenly occurred to someone that "Oh! The fat bloated guy who died of a heroin overdose in my Parisian nightclub in 1971? Upon reflection, I think that may have been the frontman for The Doors. I knew he looked familiar!"

In a new book Sam Bernett claims Morrison died in a toilet cubicle in his Paris club in 1971 after what he believed was a heroin overdose. Two drug dealers then took Morrison's body back to his apartment and dropped it in his bath in an unsuccessful bid to revive him, according to Mr Bernett. Paris prosecutors said they were not likely to re-examine Morrison's death.

Sheer laziness, Paris prosecutors. Bennett's story is totally plausible!

He writes: "When we found him dead, he had a little foam on his nose, and some blood too, and the doctor said, 'That must be an overdose of heroin.'" Bernett went on to become a radio personality, rock biographer and vice president of Disneyland Paris. He said he was pestered for years by reporters investigating Morrison's death but kept his story quiet until his wife suggested writing a book last year.

"Writing a book" = "Making some money and buying her something nice, fuckface"

Stephen Davis, author of biography Jim Morrison: Life, Death, Legend, said he would not rewrite events because of the new book. Davis believes Morrison did overdose at Bernett's nightclub but that he survived the experience. "It just seems likely that if he died in the toilet of a nightclub it would have come out before now," Davis said.

Hmmm. We just don't know what to think. Perhaps the only solution is to install a bathtub at our local evening haunt next year and just chilling out there, ingesting copious amounts of drugs and pretending to be a lizard and shit until we croak, bloated and thoroughly fucking rock.

*We'd considered doing a Kurt but it's just far too messy and we'd never leave our friends with the steam cleaning bill.

(Via XRRF)

Our Kylie (TM) is looking good in the upcoming Doctor Who Christmas special, embracing what sounds like a tantalisingly dramatic role, the likes of which Ms Minogue probably hasn't seen since her time portraying Dr. Petra von Kant in the Merchant Ivory production Bio-Dome alongside Sir Pauly Shore.

Kylie Minogue has begun filming the Christmas special of Doctor Who in Wales. The show features a number of celebrity cameos and includes an appearance by Minogue. The singer has been cast as Astrid, a waitress on the Titanic who appears alongside actor David Tennant.

It would be a massive understatement to say that Defamer Australia is fucking pumped about this. She will be singing on the show, won't she? We envision Astrid encouraging fellow Titanic passengers not to rush for one of the limited places on the lifeboats through a tantalising performance of the song "Slow".

· Charlie Sheen is off the market again, a development that could have serious economic ramifications for local escorts specialising in pom-pom play. · We never thought we'd say this, but if Scary Hollywood Lawyer Marty Singer prevents us from having to see Nick Lachey's o-face, he's truly doing the Lord's work. · TVWeek's TCA blog brings us the Cocaine-Related Valerie Bertinelli Quote of the Day. · What can a renter do when his eastside neighbour poops too loudly? Curbed L.A. tries to find an answer.

We realise that between gas, parking, exorbitant ticket fees, and outrageous concession stand prices, the enjoyment of the latest chapter of your favourite fantasy film franchise can often turn into a cost-prohibitive affair. We here at Defamer are therefore more than happy to connect Harry Potter fans of limited means to those of you looking for moviegoing companionship with the potential for something more. Or, to put it more plainly, who'd like to get some hot Craigslist action for the price of a movie ticket?

will put out if u take me to see harry potter - 19

Date: 2007-07-11, 6:20PM PDT I'm 19, 6'1''. a little extra weight..I wanna go see harry potter but i have no money...anyone wanna take me?...

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Kevin Federline, proud possessor of some of the most potent baby-batter in all of pimpdom, has pulled no punches in trying to negotiate custody of his children away from their increasingly unhinged mother, who will now only communicate through angry couplets scribbled into a spiral notebook and cryptic messages on her website. The National Enquirer, meanwhile, reports the "PopoZão" singer may have already found his next baby momma:

The aspiring rocker has been dating Los Angeles hip-hop radio personality Liz Hernandez, according to the National Enquirer. "Kevin is definitely thrilled with Liz," a source told the tab. "He talks about her all the time - how smart she is, how she's marketed herself so well, and how beautiful she is. He's serious about her."

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A promo clip released yesterday of BBC documentary A Year with the Queen showed Annie Leibovitz requesting that Queen Elizabeth II remove her crown for a picture. The Queen's response was to incapacitate her with a royal shoe pressed against her neck, threatening, "Ask that of me again and I shall crush your trachea like a bug," before storming out of the session in a huff. Not all was what it seemed, however, and producers have issued apologies to both parties for having creatively rearranged their footage for maximum diva-rampage potential. From BBC News:

The BBC has apologised to the Queen for wrongly implying she walked out of a portrait session with photographer Annie Leibovitz during a documentary.

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One of the exciting side-projects bouncing around in the head of underemployed Lost casualty and happy-hour road menace Michelle Rodriguez has finally gotten off the ground: The actress is currently covering the globe in search of rich and eclectic foreign cultures she can rip off take inspiration from while designing Ishkadada, her vaguely pan-ethnic line of clothing:

Rodriguez plans to travel to a dozen countries, including China and Brazil, to "study people, social classes, history, culture" before finishing her designs, the actress said on the Sony channel's "It's midday in China" program aired across Latin America this week.

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With the possibility of a humiliating de-sashing looming, embattled blackmail victim Miss New Jersey bravely subjected herself to the incrementally less severe humiliation of appearing on The Today Show to discuss each and every one of the purloined Facebook photos her tormentor threatened to release, disempowering those who sought to terrorise her. What you will see will shock you. Unless, of course, you ever went to college. Or have ever been drunk. Or have even a vague awareness of the photographs that took down Miss Nevada - who, quite frankly, seems like a lot more fun than her counterpart from the Garden State.

• Miss N.J. releases blackmail photos [Today]

The pitch was irresistible: "On the set of a movie that's filming, a guy gets sucked into a jet engine and actually dies!" As was body of the e-mail tease directing us to the footage Wednesday night: "This happened on set last night in Santa Monica - do you know which show/film?" No, we do not! How could such a grisly accident transpire and completely escape notice by the media? After the jump, the clip that we urge you not to watch if you are inclined to believe in the authenticity of videos that contain conveniently timed appearances of "static," cuts to black, and suspiciously combustible victims:

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· Onetime NBC Messiah Aaron Sorkin has signed on for a three-picture deal with DreamWorks. First up is a script for The Trial of the Chicago 7, a period political piece about the clash between protestors and police at the 1968 Democratic convention that Sorkin was able to adapt from an unaired Studio 60 sketch in which Lobster Boy and new character Pigasus the Immortal argue over who might be the better Yippee candidate for president. [Variety] · Katherine McPhee is, by far, the hottest American Idol runner-up in Hollywood right now, landing a role in the still-untitled Anna Faris comedy about the Playboy bunny who teaches some lame sorority girls how to unleash their inner tart. In an empowering way! [THR] · Yet another relatively meaningless box office record falls: the new Harry Potter movie takes in $US12 million from its midnight screening debuts, proving that American parents are a little too indulgent of their children's wizard fixations. [Variety]

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Not long after dodging D-lister-piercing ordinance in the hot zone outside of the Roosevelt Hotel, TMZ.com's utterly fearless Starcatcher mobile video team once again found themselves knee-deep in the shit last night, documenting a vicious brawl that erupted outside an ESPY Awards afterparty at Skybar when a pair of gentlemen decided to audition for Rumer Willis bodyguard duty by engaging some paparazzi in hand-to-hand combat. Fortunately, no gunplay was involved this time, but the photographer who caught the worst of the beating "was treated for three cracked ribs, a possibly dislocated shoulder and a concussion" at the hospital, an ER trip that TMZ's hyper-vigilant cameras failed to capture on video because of a tip involving some cross words between one of Duff sisters and a Hyde valet that needed immediate investigation.

• Photog Brutally Attacked Outside ESPY Afterparty [TMZ]
• Unknown Gunman Proves Teddy's Velvet Rope Can't Stop Bullets [Defamer]

Advancing the story of Mandy Patinkin's unexplained absence from yesterday's table read for CBS procedural Criminal Minds [Ed.note - Is that the one with David Caruso and the sunglasses or the one with Vincent D'Onofrio and the perverts? Have an intern look that upt.] broken on E!'s Watch with Kristin blog, TVGuide.com's Ausiello Report says that the show's producers are retaliating by writing the actor out of their episode:

Multiple sources confirm that Mandy Patinkin is being written out of the season premiere of Criminal Minds after he failed to report to work.

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Abandoning the quaint sabre-rattling that has marked the run-up to the official start of negotiations for a new contract with the Writers Guild on Monday, the studios have apparently decided to cast aside their clattering blades in favour of a new nuke-dangling strategy intended to let the greedy scribes know they're not afraid to flatten the entire town if that guarantees more reliable corporate profitability.

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When last we encountered Michael Richards, he was preparing for the last leg of his Apology Tour of late 2006, where he would meet with the individuals he famously threatened with a racially motivated, inverted forking in an attempt to finally extinguish the stubborn flames of his career immolation. But where is Richards right now? The LAT has tracked the now-retired stand-up to the very ends of the earth - to a place so remote, in fact, that Angelina Jolie has collected one of its souvenir orphans - to catch up as he tries to enjoy some head-clearing time in Cambodia:

Richards, born in Culver City, spoke candidly about the Nov. 17 racist rant, which ended up on the Internet after an audience member recorded video on a mobile phone. He said his Cambodia trip was not any kind of "karmic rehab." "No, I've been doing other personal work since [the incident]," he said. "I'm trying to learn to enjoy myself."

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