We knew Darwin was a, shall we say, slightly less exciting city than say, Sydney or Melbourne, or heck, even Adelaide but this case involving the Lord Mayor of Darwin and some misappropriated funds has us wondering exactly what Darwinians get up to in their spare time...

Darwin's Lord Mayor, accused of using stolen funds to buy a fridge and a Star Wars Darth Vader voice distorter, was the victim of internal council backstabbing, a court heard today.

Um, okay.

Lord Mayor Peter Adamson, 46, has pleaded not guilty to four charges, including stealing, obtaining property by deception and making a false statement.

It is alleged the former Country Liberal Party (CLP) minister spent $900 on a fridge and $1800 on gift vouchers the day before the end of the 2005/06 financial year.

He used them to buy DVDs, costume jewellery, a universal remote control, hair dye, makeup, shoes, alcohol, a punching bag and a Star Wars voice changer.

This bizarre selection of purchases is a little odd, to say the least. But then it gets even stranger.

The whereabouts of the fridge caused a local media storm in Darwin and Adamson and his partner courted controversy for dressing up as the offending white good and a police officer at a New Year's Eve party.

The "offending" white good? That's a bit unfair. The fridge isn't the one with a disconcerting affection for costume jewellery, a Darth Vader voice-distortion mask and DRESSING UP AS A FRIDGE!

It's not often we see a headline in a News Limited publication that we look at and think "wow, that's quite accurate and non-sensationalist, thank you News Limited for being so fair and balanced in your headline selection."

Then we saw this one....

CUTEST. PUPPY. EVER.

At first we though the puppy in question would be, well, cute, but not so cute that it would make you want to jump though the laptop into cyberspace to give the thing a cuddle, take it home and spend the rest of the year playing with it on the sofa.

Boy oh boy, we weren't prepared for this.

After the jump - why said puppy is not only the cutest puppy ever, but quite possibly the cutest thing to ever grace Earth.

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Australia, meet the man who could end up your next Prime Minister. Peter Costello, grab a tissue and come on down!

Prime ministerial heir designate Peter Costello has admitted he cries. Not over leadership squabbles, but over the Australian Idol show on television.

Uh-huh.

When asked if he ever cried, the treasurer divulged that his family loved to watch Australian Idol and the show sometimes moved him to tears.

"Yeah I do actually," Mr Costello said about his tendency to blub. I get moved by movies from time to time. I get moved by talent shows, you know, things like Australian Idol. (I cry) sometimes when the singers get put down and cry.

So pretty much every episode then, Peter?

Moments In Australian Idol History Which Probably Left Peter Costello Sobbing Like A Baby And Crying Out For His Mummy.

- Dicko telling Paulini to wear more appropriate clothing or shed some pounds (Series One).
- Marcia directing any comment toward Chanel at pretty much any point that year (Series Two).
- Daniel Belle's version of Rock DJ and the ensuing verbal fisticuffs (Series Two)
- Ricki-Lee's bollocking after she gave The Beatles a "Beyonce vibe" (Series Two)
- Mark Holden's admonishing of Lee Harding for singing songs he is too fucking thick to comprehend the meaning of (Series Three)
- Kate DeAraugo and Kyle Sandilands' comments RE: TUCKSHOP LADY ARMS (Series Three)
- Etc

We do not know why it is sexy and endearing when Prince Frederik bursts into tears at the drop of a hat over in Denmark and yet Peter Costello's wail-fest makes us feel like giving him a punch in the cock, but that's just the way it is.

LISTEN TO THE AUDIO HERE.

We're not sure whether or not to believe her, but apparently Posh Spice isn't interested in a film career.

"I must be the only person in Los Angeles who doesn't want to be in films," Beckham joked.

"I don't think I am that good at acting actually," the former "Posh Spice" member of the 1990s band The Spice Girls told reporters in a telephone conference.

Full points to Mrs Beckham there…. She's recognised the fact she has no acting talent, and is happy to cop it sweet.

Now what do we need to do to make her see that she has no singing talent either?

But wait, it gets worse.

She said her jeans, sunglasses and perfume business was her real passion, along with her husband and sons Brooklyn, 9, Romeo, 4 and Cruz, 2½ years old.

"I am really concentrating on my fashion line. That's my passion." she said.

Oh please god nooooooooooooooooo! Her jeans have already been condemned as shithouse, and we don't need another celebrity clothing line. Enough already. Filthy rich wives of soccer players DO NOT design clothes. Fashion designers design clothes. Filthy rich wives of soccer players wear them with varying degrees of success. End of story.

Every now and then medical and psychological researchers discover things about humans and the human condition that are astoundingly important to the development of our species.

This is not one of those times.

According to a study published in the Personality and Social Responsibility Bulletin, MUSCULAR young men are likely to have more sex partners than their less-chiselled peers.

Their study ... suggests muscles in men are akin to elaborate tail feathers in male peacocks: They attract females looking for a virile mate.

Well, duh.

"Women are predisposed to prefer muscularity in men,'' study author David Frederick of UCLA said.

"Most research is focused on what men find physically attractive in women and the career traits women find attractive in men,'' Mr Frederick said.

"Much less research is devoted to what women find attractive.''

He said prior studies concluded a man's desirability was influenced more by his earning potential and commitment. His study found physical characteristics mattered more.

Hold on, hold on, back up there for a minute. Physical characteristics are more important than earning potential? This can only mean one thing.

Erica Baxter and James Packer aren't having sex.

Emma Watson who plays Hermione in the Harry Potter franchise looks, particularly in this photo, like a young Amy Sedaris.

Discuss.

PS: Incidentally, Defamer Australia LOVES Amy Sedaris. Hot women with a mental sense of humour are our totally our cup of tea.

The British tabloids are currently hyperventilating over Sienna Miller's new look - huge furry eyebrows.

As eye-catching fashion statements go, it certainly takes some pluck...

Factory Girl star Sienna Miller attends a style gala at the weekend - with thick black eyebrows more suited to a factory supervisor.

The screen beauty, 25, had them darkened with a make-up pencil at a Rome photoshoot for chic designer label Valentino.

But she bizarrely kept them that way at a party later on to celebrate label founder Valentino Garavani's 45 years in the industry. Perhaps someone told her it was a highbrow event.

Heaven knows what Valentino or guests such as Uma Thurman, Liz Hurley, Elle Macpherson and Claudia Schiffer made of her startling new look.

One guest grimaced: "You would have been forgiven for thinking there were a pair of caterpillars crawling across Sienna's forehead.

"She looked more like a Bond villain than a fashion icon. "It was a rather scary thing to see." Sienna's look was made all the more startling by her vivid red lipstick and her hair pulled back into a bun.

Yes, we can just imagine how petrified the A-list guests at the style gala were at the sight of Sienna's unkempt face follicles, the poor luvvies forced to cower in the corner, quaffing Cristal and shovelling down caviar in a desperate attempt to keep their minds off the horrifying creature sauntering around looking all bo-ho-eye-bro.

Now, we've made a fairly concerted effort to get to know the "Who's Who" of Aussie showbiz since we blackmailed our way into a position of blogging power here at Defamer Australia, and this pursuit of knowledge has meant we've done a crash course in AFL players and B-grade Australian blonde actresses.

But we still don't know who the fuck these people are.

Australian actor Teresa Palmer is believed to have split from ex-AFL footballer Stuart Dew and is rumoured to be dating Spider-Man star Topher Grace.

Palmer, 21, is based in Los Angeles while Dew, who retired from playing AFL for Port Adelaide last year, lives in Adelaide.

"Teresa is now living in LA for work reasons,'' a source close to Palmer told The Sunday Telegraph.

"Her and Stuey are apart but they have not officially separated, they are on a forced break brought on by the distance between them.

"They are both good friends and are in regular contact. Topher and Teresa are mates, that's it.''

Well as long and Teresa and 'Stuey' aren't officially separated, our whole day hasn't been ruined.

Once again, who are these people? Are they quite famous? Or just in Adelaide? Which is a legitimate kind of fame, don't get us wrong... We can only hope one day to be Adelaide-Famous. Hell, Hobart-Famous would be enough. Cherrybrook Shopping Centre-Famous?

We will try harder in the future to keep abreast of these things, we promise.

On the upside, we have a vague memory of finding Topher Grace a bit spunky in some movie or another, so at least the entire article didn't go over our head.

Joining Jamie Durie in dirty boots on the world (well, the only bit of the world that counts, America) stage? Miss Short Shorts herself Suzie Wilks. Reports News Ltd -

The former Changing Rooms babe is poised to make the change to American TV, after successful meetings with media giant CBS.

Wilks arrived back last week after a whirlwind trip to Los Angeles where it is understood she met numerous producers.

The Barbie-styled presenter is reportedly under consideration for two new shows in the US, which could lead her to crossing continents like Durie, who now divides his screen time between Australia on Channel 7 and regular appearances on The Oprah Winfrey Show in the US.

The bit of this article we really enjoyed though was the following.

The international gigs would prove a fix-it for Wilks's local TV career which has been flagging since her home renovation show was axed three years ago.

Her appearance as the fantasy woman in a Holden commercial this year drew pot shots from feminists, including controversial academic Germaine Greer, who called on the windows of the car manufacturer to be smashed in over the portrayal.

Oh Germaine Greer, you crazy lovable bitch!

There is a sitcom in that woman, mark our words. And if Bea Arthur isn't the most perfect candidate to play the role of the sidekick, we'll eat our hat.

The all-too-fragile peace of the Hollywood Walk of Fame impersonator community has once again been shattered by an alleged act of character-on-character violence, with Fake Marilyn Monroe accusing Handsy Chewbacca of assaulting her during an otherwise routine tourist shakedown. Reports our local CBS affiliate on the disturbing attack of a ersatz American icon sure to rock the Chinese Theatre to its very foundation:

A Chewbacca impersonator is accused of sexually assaulting a Marilyn Monroe impersonator in front of the Kodak Theatre in Hollywood in June. The wookie then reportedly evaded arrest, police said.

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· Madonna demanded that interviewers not break eye contact with her for the duration of their backstage encounter at Live Earth, a measure necessary for her to cast the Kabbalistic mind-control spell that prevents reporters from asking intrusive questions about her disastrous film career or black market orphan purchases. Word has it that the spell takes hold more quickly if her subject inhales the vapours from a candle that smells like God or if he or she can be tricked into touching her red string bracelet. · Following last night's episode-ending, tranny-junk-dangling freeze frame, Entourage creator Doug Ellin promises the rest of his series will be schlong-free. · Is this the exact moment that Jason Lee's career began an irreversible downward trajectory? Only time will tell. · Harry Potter fans really need to just let go. · Truly, the new generation is high to glue to fuck the type quickly.

It's hard not to marvel at the transformation undergone by reformed socialite Paris Hilton, who went into the Century Regional Detention Facility in Lynwood a lowly, scenewhoring caterpillar, only to emerge from the cocoon-like confines of her solitary confinement cell a socially conscious and spiritual butterfly. Still, a free woman has every right to occasionally get her Ketel One-and-cran on, and so Friday night marked the heiress's first foray back into the Hollywood nightlife scene, where she spread the gospel among peers by singing along to her own, studio-enhanced vocals. From People.com:

The heiress arrived at [Les Deux] a little before midnight Friday with a group including her sister Nicky and Erin Foster (daughter of music producer David Foster). [...] She later stood on a couch and - with most eyes on her - danced seductively against a wall with an arm extended up in the air, singing the words to every song that played, including her own single, "Stars Are Blind."

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Saturday's series of Live Earth concerts - billed as a green event, but really just an elaborate excuse for Al Gore and his all-dad garage band to clumsily perform their one song, a cover of "Smoke on the Water," in front of a global audience - offered up for inspiration some ads featuring the eco-friendly daily habits of Hollywood A-listers. Above, Cameron Diaz selflessly decides to dispose of a stack of scripts for projects she's passed on by dumping them in a recycling bin. It may not seem like a lot, but if every $US15 million-per-picture actress were to do the same, the cumulative effect would be enough to neutralise a weekend's worth of emissions produced by a lesser-enlightened starlet's commute to and from Winston's in a Range Rover. Answer the call.

• Live Earth Commercial - Cameron Diaz [YouTube]

Actress/children's book author/celebrity blogger Jamie Lee Curtis, who last week so memorably shared her feelings about how reality TV cooking competitions are surely a precursor to unscripted shows ending in televised executions, today returns to HuffPo to explain the psychological defence mechanism that allowed her to temporarily overcome a crippling fear of terrorism on a recent trip to England:

Terrorism has succeeded because I now think like a terrorist. I have just returned from London. Yes, despite pleas from hysterics: "Don't you know what's going on???" I ventured forth to be a very old groupie for my sweet husband and his mates playing Wembley on behalf of the planet at Live Earth with Metallica and Madonna.

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It's time to accept that Hollywood's Fourth of July vacation is finally over and the rest of the summer awaits; try and put off daydreaming about your Labor Day hiatus long enough to review the US weekend box office numbers: 1. Transformers - $US67.6 million In a summer that has numbed us with the relentless shattering of domestic, worldwide, and box office records, we finally have a milestone absurd enough to make us feel something again: With $US152.7 million, Transformers can lay claim to the Biggest Six-and-a-Half Day Weekend Overlapping A Midweek National Holiday Ever (For A Non-Sequel). We'll ignore that relatively unimpressive $US67.6 million figure, as the traditional three-day frame is a relic of a quaint time before studios realised that the length of a "weekend" could be manipulated to suit their marketing purposes.

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In the end, any of the progress made by the defence with the testimony of forensics expert Vincent DiMaio - who's convinced, for $US400 an hour, of the unlikely scenario that Lana Clarkson went home with Phil Spector to end her own life - will likely be negated by a damning statement allowed today by Judge Larry Fidler. It seems, according to a New York cop, that the music producer would show up to Christmas parties at Joan Rivers's house, carrying a gun and speaking rather prophetically about wanting to shoot every woman present in the head:

The ruling came after Vincent Tannazzo, a retired New York City police detective, testified without the jury present about providing security for two Christmas parties given by comedian Joan Rivers in Manhattan. In both instances, a year apart, he said he wound up ejecting Spector from the parties. He said that in the first instance he brushed up against Spector and was able to tell that Spector had a handgun in his waistband, and when Spector made a move toward his pants he warned the producer that if he pulled the gun "I'd blow his brains out."

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One of Hollywood's pettier divorces in recent memory - that of Men in Trees star and intermittent lesbian Anne Heche from her cameraman husband Coley Laffoon - takes another childish nosedive today, with the soon-to-be-exes squabbling in court over various items of clothing, furniture, and accoutrements that have gone missing from the annoyingly designated rooms of their shared L.A. home:

In documents filed in L.A. Superior Court, Laffoon accuses Heche of taking a number of items - including the master bed and yoga-room rugs - from the L.A. home they share. (Under the terms of a judge's temporary order, they alternate use of the house while Heche is in Los Angeles.) [...]

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We suspect that we may never tire of reading stories about how new NBC co-chairman/rock-star Ben Silverman plans to remake the last-place network in his own fun-loving, party-positive, hey-let's-have-that-meeting-at-The-Standard's-pool! image, especially when such pieces continue to yield details like... Read More »

It's official: the much-rumoured-about Fox reunion of former FX pals Peter Liguori and recent NBC Memorial Day Massacre victim Kevin Reilly (pictured above slipping his business card to Liguori at a luncheon two years ago, knowing he'd one day... Read More »

With the heady buzz generated by creating the hybrid sitcomfomercial art form out of the best parts of half-hour TV comedy and thirty-second auto-insurance advertising finally dissipating, pioneering network ABC is starting to second-guess the programming instincts that led... Read More »

· Dennis Hopper, Nathan Lane, Kelsey Grammer, Stanley Tucci, and George Lopez join the cast of Swing Vote, the "populist" comedy in which a presidential election hilariously rests on Kevin Costner's ballot. [Variety] · Despite the occasional drop-in by environmentally conscious Hollywood megastar Cameron Diaz (wow, we're really picking on her today, aren't we?), NBC's coverage of the Live Earth concerts draws even worse ratings than the network's typical summertime Saturday night slate of reruns and NHL playoff games. [THR] · Hoping to spur weak sales, Sony drops the price of the Playstation 3 by $US100. Fuck you, early adopters! [Variety] · Jennifer Esposito will star opposite Val Kilmer in the indie drama Conspiracy, gaining a lifetime of junket-enlivening anecdotes about what it's like to work with Hollywood's most lovably batshit castmate. [THR] · Here's a link to a detailed summary of the WGA's annual report on guild member compensation in 2006. Enthralling? You bet! [Variety]

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