We are simply bursting with joy to inform you that Toni Collette has confirmed she's having a bubba with drummer Dave Galafassi.

The Oscar-nominated actress confirmed Monday that she's pregnant.

It will be the first child for the 34-year-old Australian actress and her musician husband, Dave Galafassi.

"We're very happy. We are completely over the moon," she said.

We couldn't be happier to hear this. What a wonderful day for this country! We look forward to a time where we, the proud nation of Australia, can huddle together around a copy of Australian Women's Weekly and melt as we gaze in wonder at photos of the tiny Collette-Galafassi offspring making its first carbon footprint while a proud mama and papa look on.

This morning on Triple J, Daniel Johns may or may not have defamed everyone's favourite ex-muso-greenie pollie Peter Garrett, by suggesting he's a bit of a pot head.

He [Bono] buzzed me over to the house that he was staying at in Sydney and asked if I'd play the demos and it was really one of the most surreal moments in my life. It was me and Natalie and Peter Garrett and Bono laying on Bono's bed smoking joints listening to Young Modern demos.

Silly Daniel!

The good folk over at Crikey figure that according to Daniel's story, Garrett would've been engaging in Spliff Politics in around November last year, while he was shadow parliamentary secretary for reconciliation and the arts.

Of course this allegation doesn't look too good for Mr Garrett, (despite the fact most people who support him wouldn't mind a bit of a smoke anyway), so Daniel from Silverchair was forced to recant on Crikey earlier today.

''In an interview I did this morning on Triple J I made a stupid joke. It's just been brought to my attention that some people in the media have taken my dumb joke seriously so I want to set the record straight. At no time have I ever "smoked a joint" with Bono or Peter Garrett. They are both well known to be very anti-drugs so that's why I assumed everybody would know I was joking when I made that comment. Clearly that wasn't the case and I feel sick that I might have caused embarrassment to two people who I admire so much.

''I was fortunate enough to once get to play them some of my demo's but I swear that no joints were involved. I guess I felt a bit like a namedropper mentioning them on the radio so that's why I added a silly throwaway joke. I accept that drug use is no laughing matter and I apologize sincerely for any confusion or harm I've caused. Just by the way, this is one of the reasons why I hate doing interviews. I really should just shut up and stick to singing.''

Touche.

You can't call her insecure, can you?

Dreamworld's latest evictee, the truly unfortunate Michelle, has told interviewers that she believes she might have walked away with the cash bonanza at the end of the series - if she'd been more charming toward her fellow housemates.

Ousted Big Brother housemate Michelle insists she would have won the competition if she was nicer to people - but that's just not her.

Which is a lot like the time we could have won the women's 400 metre at the Sydney Olympics except Cathy Freeman sprinted off with first place BECAUSE WE ARE NOT AN ATHLETE AND THERE'S NOTHING ANYONE CAN DO TO CHANGE THAT!

Honestly, the "I could have won the show, had I been a different person" thing seems almost redundant to point out. Obviously if you weren't a fuckwit more people would have liked you, Michelle. But the gods did not bless you in that way. Accept your fate.

Also, we wish to note (in paraphrased form) three things shared by Michelle's poor husband on stage during his chat with the Killeenatron.

i) He used the line "You can't back out" in reference to getting married.
ii) "My leg was broken"
iii) "Her daughter is just like her"

Read between the lines, people.

i) He is terrified for his life and fears leaving the screaming harpy!
ii) HAVE YOU SEEN 'MISERY'?
iii) EVEN THOUGH MICHELLE HAS BEEN AWAY IN QUEENSLAND, HER EQUALLY FRIGHTENING DAUGHTER HAS HIM UNDER LOCK AND KEY.

The man needs rescuing. Someone step in, for god's sake!

Publicists for Aussie flick Prey have released an "exclusive" photo of Natalie Bassingthwaighte on the set. In the dubious world of entertainment journalism, the picture automatically warrants national coverage, particularly since Nat is, like, such a lovely, likable Aussie lass and all that.

Although Bassingthwaighte has cheerfully been spruiking her new role, images from the set had been kept under wraps until now, with producers hoping to build a sense of anticipation about the Australian-made horror project.

Huh? Anticipation? Wha.. ? Newsflash to the producers. The only thing we're anticipating is a shit-ordinary Wolf Creek rip-off made to exploit the American College Kid appetite for slasher flicks at Halloween.

In the movie, Bassingthwaighte plays a medic who gets caught up in a mysterious and somewhat violent episode involving American tourists in outback Australia.

"Even her medical skills won't save them when the group confront the supernatural evil in the desert," said one insider, whispering details of the ominous plot.

Of course, it's obvious that "insider" is the film's publicist, because who else but a publicist could possibly come up with such a lame-arsed quote so obviously designed for a press release.

We were sitting her thinking that it's OK, at least Natalie's filming commitments mean we wont be subjected to any more god-awful music from the Rogue Traders, but then we read this bit…..

This is the first big-screen role for the former Neighbours star turned pop singer, who is also releasing a new album with Rogue Traders this year.

Now that folks, is the true horror story.

Live Earth over the weekend proved gbjkghbdfjkgnfdjaghkazzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...

Oh sorry, we just fell asleep on our keyboard.

Live Earth was, well, among many other things, another excuse for eighteen year old girls to wear their coolest slogan tees from Supre and drop E while dancing to Sneaky Sound System.

Other than that, it was a bit of a snore. Call us, we don't know, whatever you want - cynical perhaps, but we're just not really turned on by pseudo-environmentalist musicians and celebrities telling us to "sleep with my missus instead of jumping on a plane" (Thanks for that tip, Tim "Rosso" Ross, does that also mean you should politely refuse next time the Spiderman 3 people offer to fly you to Japan for a film premiere?)

As for the whole “message”, we here at Defamer think it may have got lost in the translation, especially when we read this on smh.com.au on Saturday arvo.

Helen Price, 37, of Roseberry, said she bought tickets for the show as soon as they went on sale.

Ms Price said she was conscious of the global warming issue but was not planning to make any changes to her lifestyle as a result of attending the concert.

"It is more about raising awareness,'' she said.

So when the world explodes and we all die from CO2 poisoning, famine, drought or boredom from listening to Al Gore speak one too many times, at least we'll know why we died, because it's all about AWARENESS, right? Not action. No, just AWARENESS.

And for the record, to all the inner-city folk who drive massive 4WDs, but wash their hands of their environmental responsibilities by donating money to carbon trading schemes, you're not fooling anyone. Throwing cash at a problem does not fix the problem. It simply absolves you of your guilt.

End rant.

Handsome horse loving Harry Potter star Daniel Radcliffe has proven to be uncannily like the fictional version he played of himself on Extras - he's young and randy, and doesn't mind if you only want him because he's famous. He has needs and he demands satisfaction... from anyone. But don't get his name wrong "during"...

Daniel Radcliffe is happy to have sex with girls who are only interested in him because of his fame. But the 17-year-old Harry Potter star said:"I once had a friend call me (Harry) by accident. If there's another person in the room called Harry and somebody shouts their name I do respond slightly, which is embarrassing. But no one has ever said it in the throws of passion. That would be the end of that session. Go now!"

Disturbing things we are coming to terms with after reading the above passage -

i) Seventeen year old Harry Potter using the phrase "in the throws of passion"
ii) Seventeen year old Harry Potter describing sex with a woman as a "session"
iii) Seventeen year old Harry Potter has a penis, and uses it to poke at things.