Lindsay Lohan’s Stabby Co-Star Revealed!

Page Six has positively identified former TRL and ET microphone-holder and current Nick Lachey sexual partner Vanessa Minnillo as Lindsay Lohan’s semi-mysterious co-star in the indie cokesploitation drama Crazed Lohan Dices With Death, which premiered to critical acclaim in the UK’s News of the World yesterday. Puzzlingly, Page Six concludes that the sporadically employed Minnillo “might have a hard time getting a new job because of the risqué party pictures”, a statement that leads us to believe that they didn’t even bother to view the photos before casting such a dim light on the host’s career prospects. The aspiring actress clearly steals every scene she’s in from her higher-billed, overrated castmate, whether playing the role of sultry victim or breast-stabbing villainess, demonstrating that she’d make a perfectly acceptable – and much more affordable – alternative to Lohan should the troubled starlet linger in Promises longer than the too-patient producers of Poor Things are willing to wait.

• Knife Pix Might Cost Minnillo [Page Six]
• CONFIRMED – VANESSA MINNILLO IS LINDSAY’S KNIFE PLAY PARTNER! [X17Online.com]