Defamer Non-Exclusive: A Sneak Preview Of Paris Hilton-Related Things You’ll Be Seeing On Your TV Shortly!

Over at TMZ, the popular online inmate-support group with which an incarcerated, existentially despairing Paris Hilton established such a strong emotional bond that she was moved to create great art celebrating their connection, teaser clips of tonight’s Larry King Live appearance are being posted so furiously they we may not have to watch the actual broadcast when it airs in about 90 minutes. [Ed.note - HAHAHA. Just for that, you will watch it on a loop until daybreak while hungry crows peck at your breadcrumb-encrusted genitals.] Above, enjoy our exclusive screen-capture of the exact moment when Hilton’s eyes, finally free of the tinted contact lenses that so long obscured their natural brilliance with a lifeless azure, sparkle with pride as she explains how her trip to the MTV Movie Awards was merely a clever subterfuge designed to conceal her trip to jail from the media.

After the jump, enjoy a bonus image just e-mailed to us by God Himself, who was so excited about the interview that He couldn’t help put sneak a peak at the wizened instrument of His will as he entered the CNN studios earlier this afternoon.

[Photo: Getty Images/AFP]

• How Paris Punked the Paps [TMZ]