Catherine Deveny Unlikely To Recieve A Christmas Card From Sam Newman

It would be fair to observe that Catherine Deveny isn’t all that into Channel Nine’s The Footy Show. In fact, one might even go so far as to claim she hates them with a white hot passion of a thousand suns, as the saying goes.

I have just watched three episodes of The Footy Show and I feel like Sammy Davis jnr at a Ku Klux Klan rally, like Dannii Minogue at a Mensa convention, like George Pell in 2007.

I’m not into plants but I like Gardening Australia, I’m not into quiz shows but I like The Einstein Factor, I’m not into cars but I like Top Gear, so not being into footy isn’t the reason that I’m repelled by this destructive, small-minded, morally bankrupt orgy of chauvinism. The Footy Show is a celebration of the very worst that television, sport, Australia and human beings can cook up. It’s offensive, toxic, corrosive, encouraging viewers to

So wait, you’re saying you don’t like the show, Catherine? Be clear about your feelings!

The Footy Show is nothing more than media-sanctioned misogyny. And so much less. Tune in and you’ll feel you’ve woken up in 1952. A man in a full body condom, men dressed as women, girls in bikinis, guys stuffing toilet paper down their jocks, dickheads, wankers and yobs. The few women that I did see were leered at, one called “a bitch” and another told to “get f—ed” (both by Sam Newman). I heard the word “sheilas” and could sense that the words “poofters”, “wogs”, “slopes” and “spastics” were just below the surface.

Is it the program, the network, the culture of Australian television, or just Newman that is so offensive? It’s all of them.

We’re still confused about whether or not you think Sam Newman is a great televisual talent, Ms Deveny. Please, make your case.

But Newman really needs to be singled out for his extraordinary contribution to this tragic, puerile, adolescent show that degrades the culture of football, alienates women and teaches boys that females are slaves, trophies or bitches.

…

Newman is vain, ugly, a megalomaniac, a bully. I can’t help feeling that deep inside he would be happy for women to have their brains removed and replaced with a bar fridge. He’s a dangerous bloke who’s paid a lot of money to defile our culture and undermine our intelligence in the most putrid of fashions. For any of you who have sat surrounded by people laughing at this maggot and found yourself thinking there is something wrong with you, there isn’t. There’s something wrong with him. And them.

We quite enjoy Catherine Deveny’s work, perhaps more so now that we understand Andrew Bolt directed his brilliant blogging mind toward her column’s contents back in April.

His brain has probably exploded with disgust at her latest outburst. Will her chorus of hate ever stop ringing in the ears of the nation? Will we ever see an end to the age of “group think”? What about the barbarians at the gate, and the beacons of truth, and Horatio at the bridge etc?

(insert other Bolt cliches here)