You can just guess how giddy with excitement we were when we spied a headline like Sting entraps more Skype sex predators, can't you?
Immediately we were swept away by the image of Tantric yoga's elder statesman settling down at a computer, ear piece and microphone at the ready, wiling away the evenings chatting to dirty kiddy fiddlers in a high-pitched voice. Finally, after winning their trust and completely fooling them with his Oscar worthy performance, he gets them to agree to a meeting at an abandoned warehouse.
Hours later, the nasty rock spider with an evil glint in his eye arrives at the meeting place... only to be accosted by Sunhill's finest! Sterling work, Sting! Yet another pedophile off the streets! Next up, New York City! And perhaps an album with a dedication in the liner saying "In the criminal justice system, sexually based offenses are considered especially heinous. When it comes to Skype, the dedicated detective who investigates these vicious felonies is a member of an elite squad known as the Special Victims Unit feat. Celebrities Crimefighters. This is his story put to adult orientated pop music..."
DUNK DUNK!
But it's a proper un-celebrity related news story about slimy Australian arsewipes getting their evil arses caught by the coppers. Which is good stuff, but sadly lacks any Gordon Sumner angle at all.