While Paris Hilton's ongoing incarceration is tragically delaying her intention to emerge from prison the Nelson Mandela of the bottle-service set, her mere presence at the Century Regional Detention Facility is already improving conditions for her fellow detainees. Initially, we scoffed at Kathy Hilton's suggestion that her daughter's "whole ordeal can shed light on other people (in jail)", but the Access Hollywood testimony of a recent inmate reveals that Paris's stay has resulted in the immediate doubling of prioners' PBJ and bologna sandwich allotment and unexpected early releases; at this rate, by the end of the noble prison-reformer's sentence, the Lynwood "Hilton Suite" will be offering three gourmet meals per day, bunk-bed turndown service, and hot rock massages to all guests who volunteer to extend their stays.

• Paris Transferred Back To Women's Prison [Access Hollywood]

The Single File Eyes blog notices the disturbing similarity of the arrangement of the actors on the License to Wed one-sheet to the female reproduction system, a design we have to assume is intended to subliminally attract the film's targeted audience into theatres. It's a stroke of genius, really, as we've been so mesmerised by the side-by-side that the poster's central figure has completely melted into the uterus, making us forget that Robin Williams is even in the movie.

• Starring Robin Williams as The Uterus [Single File Eyes]

· Displaying the kind of out-of-the-box vision that recently won him NBC's top programming job at the tender age of 19 (so young, we know!), Ben Silverman has acquired the rights to the Colombian televovela Sin tetas no hay paraiso (Without Breasts There is No Paradise), the story of a woman who seeks a breast enlargement as a solution to her poverty and gets entangled in prostitution. "I scour the world for the best ideas and for the game-changing hit shows and Sin Tetas is one of those shows," crowed Silverman about his get. "Dude, it's like my huge ABC success Ugly Betty, but with hookers and big tits. I've got another winner here, I just know it." [Variety] · And with leadership like that, why wouldn't NBC Universal be "upbeat" about their network's prospects? [THR] · The Middle East is hottest war-torn setting in Hollywood right now, with "at least six" films about the region on the way between June and early 2008. [Variety] · Bruce Willis and daughter Rumer will spend some quality time together building up their family business on the set of The Sophomore, a "teenage take on Chinatown". Unfortunately, Mischa Barton, once famously out-acted by some scene-hogging patio furniture in a pivotal moment on The OC, is also attached to the intriguing project. [THR] · Speaking of the Willis family business, Rumer step-dad Ashton Kutcher is producing another movie. Details available, but uninteresting. [Variety]

Airing tonight on CBS - your home for awards shows no one cares about! - Daytime Emmys producers were willing to try bold and unorthodox gimmicks to increase viewership, such as literally installing 200 hysterical soap fans on the... Read More »

· We present our candidate for Dad of the Year. That kid is going to grow up strong. · Even after a second opportunity to design the bat suit, The Dark Knight's Christopher Nolan still refuses to succumb to the rubber nipple temptation that destroyed a lesser director. · Is The Thing about to give Invisible Girl a brick-headed Bronsky? We think he is. · Archaeologists uncover oldest petrified Mickey Mouse popsicle on record. · Isaiah Washington-related silences are now being broken at an incredible pace.

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newVideoPlayer("ripa_pushups_gawker.flv", 475, 376); In what is easily the tensest minute of television since the Man in the Members Only Jacket rose from his seat and disappeared into the Haltson's restroom to void his bladder, motormouthed premium-cable Hollywood agent Jeremy... Read More »

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Today brings an update to PinkberryGate, the scandal that rocked the tangy-frozen-dessert industry to its very core. Charges were levied last month against the rapidly proliferating treat concern that it was falsely marketing its product - made from a... Read More »