Thursday, June 14, 2007
We Think We Might Be Falling In Love With Zach The Intruder
5:50PM Jess McGuire | Could the latest flamboyant addition to the Big Brother compound get us hooked into the show again? All signs point to yes!
Zach’s favourite pastime so far has been sitting on the couch and watching the male housemates in the gym.
The object of his attention has been Thomas, but he also made a pass at Billy and Zoran.
He described Thomas as “perfect” while watching him lift weights in the gym.
The pair had an early morning conversation on Monday in which Zach told him about his unlucky nature when it came to men.
On Sunday night Zoran asked Zach if he would repair a hole in the crutch of his pants.
“Ooh, you’ll have to put them on and model them for me,” Zach joked. Zoran seemed to find it hard to hide his horror.
Moments earlier Zach had offered to “lace up” Billy in a corset.
Zach to win! More » 
We Are Not Ashamed To Say That Watching This Made Us Cry
4:58PM Jess McGuire | Sure, we might be feeling a bit sensitive today. We don’t know why, but even the most idiotic news stories are tugging at our proverbial heartstrings (Eddie Murphy will “do the right thing” if he’s Mel B’s baby’s daddy? KLEENEX PLEASE) so it’s perhaps no surprise that we, quite seriously, turned into a blubbering wreck when we read this story about a mobile phone salesman’s triumphant performance on variety show Britain’s Got Talent.
Paul Potts, 36, sang Nessun Dorma – made famous by Luciano Pavarotti – for the judges on Britain’s Got Talent TV show, who are searching for an act to perform in front of the Queen at the Royal Variety Performance and win $A250,000.
It was a daunting prospect, not only singing for a huge TV audience, but notoriously nasty Idol judge Simon Cowell.
But Potts, who has battled a burst appendix, a huge tumour on his adrenal gland and a shattered collarbone after being knocked off his bike, knocked ‘em dead.
Wearing a cheap suit and with his hair cut too short, he admitted the judges weren’t initially impressed.
But when he sang he blew them away.
Didn’t he just? Watch for yourselves.
After we watched it for the first time, we grabbed a passing charming middle aged gentleman and made him sit through it. Result? Folks, tears rolled down his cheeks. TEARS! CHEEKS! ROLLING!
Perhaps it’s Paul’s face, his nervousness beforehand, that just slays us. Or perhaps it’s his post-performance realisation that he’s not going to be mocked but people actually think he’s got something to offer. Either way, oh lord, we just want to hug him.
If you feel nothing when you watch him sing, then good day to you. More » Kevin Spacey Is Over The Movie Business
4:51PM Jess McGuire | When we read the headline “I’m done with acting: Spacey”, we thought perhaps we would finally hear the truth behind his infamous 4am mugging in a London park when he was simply walking his dog (not a euphemism… or is it?)
Alas, this is not the case. Instead, the Oscar winning actor has declared he is thoroughly over his “personal” theatrical career.
“I don’t care about my personal acting career any more. I’m done with it,” he said.
“After 10 years of making movies and going better than I ever could have imagined, I sort of had to ask myself: What am I supposed to do with all of this success that I have had?
“Am I just going to keep making movie after movie and be concerned with all of that `Are you up, are you down, are you hot, are you not?’, and I don’t really care.”
Noted, Kevin. Anything else you’d like to get off your manly chest? More » In Retrospect, The Catch-Up Was Actually Quite Amazing
3:40PM Jess McGuire | The episodes of recently boned Channel Nine chat show The Catch-Up we managed to watch never quite did it for us, and so we immediately began mocking the program whenever it was raised in conversation. But as Joni Mitchell once sang, you don’t know what you got til it’s gone.
Crikey.com.au have helpfully put together a list of YouTube links to the shows greatest moments, and it is compelling and essential viewing.
* Lisa gags at footage of a man eating corgi.* Libbi and Zoe’s lesbian kiss (includes bonus footage of Libbi pashing Rupert Everett)* The ladies model Stella for Target* The ladies discuss reverse chivalry (warning: contains too much information about the Oldfields’ love life)* Lisa’s drug confessions* Lisa’s botox regret. (Reader says Lisa had a “little cat’s bum mouth”, Lisa gets botox, blames horse fall for swollen lips) * The ladies discuss adultery . Lisa reveals, if a loved one murdered or cheated, “that person would be dead to me”.* Oldfield tells how she froze David’s sperm post 9/11 following a series of death threats he received.
Brilliant! Jane Nethercote, we applaud you for compiling this Best Of. As one of our beloved friends put it, “After reading this, I am now wishing that The Catch Up wasn’t ending.”
Touche.
WE TAKE IT ALL BACK! UNBONE! UNBONE!
PS: We’re also a bit obsessed with Lisa Oldfield now, if you must know. More » The Chaser Lads May Not Be The Masters Of Surprise Comedy We Once Thought They Were
3:26PM Jess McGuire | It’s good to see Today Tonight continuing to focus their piercing insights on the “big issues”. Their latest victim legitimate targets are the ABC wunderkinds from The Chaser, who it seems stage some of their “surprise” stunts for the sake of legality and kindness.
Apparently in reprisal for The Chaser’s regular attacks on tabloid television, Today Tonight last night claimed that the stunts in which they invaded a real estate agent’s open house, romped naked in a bedding store, heckled at the opera (”Vivaldi is a wanker”) and pretended a dog was a doctor were pre-arranged with the supposedly shocked victims.
Chas Licciardello confessed: “I’ll tell you the truth about the set-ups. We actually do do set-ups every now and then … We are not allowed to do anything illegal on the show. You and all your viewers can take this message: We are not as big a c—s as we might seem. If that dilutes the fun, I’m sorry. We only do things which are legal and when people deserve it.
Are you listening, Sophia Loren? You’ve been begging for a bagging, and good on these comedic non-cunty posse of folk for serving you up a long-deserved slice of insolent pie. Eat it with relish, you Mediterranean strumpet.
Soon to be featured on Today Tonight -
- Neighbours: not a thoroughly accurate view of Australian suburbia!
- All Saints cast members: don’t rely on them in case of emergency!
- Sigrid Thornton: the heartless bitch doesn’t give a damn what’s good for you, she just wants a regular paycheck!
More » 
Shar Jackson Denies Pregnancy, Despite K-Fed’s Ridiculous Knocking-Up Game
12:04PM Defamer Hollywood | Politics makes for strange bedfellows, as reports have surfaced of a seismic shift of allegiances over at the House of Spears: As the (tabloid-generated) plot goes, mother Lynne – heartlessly cast aside after being deemed an impediment to her rogue daughter’s various head-shaving and clubtrotting needs – now finds herself cozier than ever with former pimp-in-law Kevin Federline. (K-Fed offers Lynne full access to her grandchildren, in exchange for little more than grandma covering the Fatburger tab, and perhaps sneaking dad a little spending money for “the kids to have some fun at the Stratosphere, on me”!) The estranged elder Spears, meanwhile, has taken all the expected steps towards mending fences with her troubled daughter: i.e., ambushing her at a birthday party in Beverly Hills, and offering her side of the story to Us as a cover exclusive. And despite Star Magazine’s best efforts to further complicate matters by suggesting former babymama Shar Jackson was once again heavy with K-Fed child, Jackson – for whom any form of reconciliation might constitute a breach of contract that would put her Ex-Wives Club-hosting duties in jeopardy – squarely denies being knocked up by America’s Most Hated, telling Us, “It is not even remotely true”. Shar Jackson: I’m Not Pregnant [Usmagazine.com] Britney’s mom sides with K-Fed over daughter [MSNBC.com] More »
The Olsen Twins Turn 21, World Yawns, Wonders How Lindsay’s Holding Up In Rehab
11:54AM Defamer Hollywood | While the Olsen Twins’ passage into civically recognized womanhood three years ago was a cultural event so significant that countdown clocks ticking down the seconds until their shared 18th birthday were erected in every corner of the internet and Barely Legal magazine famously sponsored a three-week party in a handful of major American cities commemorating the occasion, today’s ascent to drinking age is passing with little, if any, fanfare. More »
Coming Soon To Fox: Trump’s Tramps
11:29AM Defamer Hollywood | Hoping to capitalise on the media attention being lavished upon the recent meltdowns of Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, and Lindsay Lohan, billionaire reality television personality and premium-meats magnate Donald Trump is developing his next surefire hit for the downmarket Fox network, perhaps worried that The Apprentice partner NBC’s oft-invoked obsession with “quality” might hamper the execution of his vision for the just-announced Lady or a Tramp. (Barely rejected original title: Trump Sluts.) It’s too early in the development process for Fox to definitively reveal the show’s final format, but they’re already spitballing ideas for the mechanics of the crucial dismissal process and market-testing catchphrases; currently under consideration is shifting Trump from his iconic Apprentice boardroom to a set recreating his luxurious bedroom, where the unclothed, freshly serviced mogul will roll over beneath his absurdly high-thread-count sheets to reveal the identity of the week’s losing contestant, then send her on her way with a curt, “You’re a tramp. Cab fare’s on the nightstand.” Trump’s ‘Lady’ comes to Fox [Variety] More »
What Went On Behind The Scenes Of The Isaiah Washington Shitcanning?
10:45AM Defamer Hollywood | As Isaiah Washington processes the complex feelings about his high-profile axing from Grey’s Anatomy, downgrading himself from “mad as hell and not going to take it anymore”, to the far more reasonable, “saddened, but will gladly work with the powers that be to see if there isn’t some third solution out there that better suits everyone’s interests”, questions still linger as to who ordered the whacking and when. According to an AP report, it was not the decision of Grey’s showrunner Shonda Rhimes – who “wept” when she made the call on Thursday – but rather a troika of high-ranking ABC studio and network execs: The operation to remove Washington, 43, was quick and neat. The studio declined to exercise his contract option for another season – Washington would have earned about $2.7 million in salary – and he was dumped shortly after the May finale. With Dr. Burke conveniently written out of the show in the last episode, the move had to have been planned for some time. More »
