June 14, 2007

We Think We Might Be Falling In Love With Zach The Intruder

Australian Post Posted by Jess McGuire at 5:50 PM on June 14, 2007

Could the latest flamboyant addition to the Big Brother compound get us hooked into the show again? All signs point to yes!

Zach's favourite pastime so far has been sitting on the couch and watching the male housemates in the gym.

The object of his attention has been Thomas, but he also made a pass at Billy and Zoran.

He described Thomas as "perfect" while watching him lift weights in the gym.

The pair had an early morning conversation on Monday in which Zach told him about his unlucky nature when it came to men.

On Sunday night Zoran asked Zach if he would repair a hole in the crutch of his pants.

"Ooh, you'll have to put them on and model them for me," Zach joked. Zoran seemed to find it hard to hide his horror.

Moments earlier Zach had offered to "lace up" Billy in a corset.

Zach to win!

We Are Not Ashamed To Say That Watching This Made Us Cry

Australian Post Posted by Jess McGuire at 4:58 PM on June 14, 2007

Sure, we might be feeling a bit sensitive today. We don't know why, but even the most idiotic news stories are tugging at our proverbial heartstrings (Eddie Murphy will "do the right thing" if he's Mel B's baby's daddy? KLEENEX PLEASE) so it's perhaps no surprise that we, quite seriously, turned into a blubbering wreck when we read this story about a mobile phone salesman's triumphant performance on variety show Britain's Got Talent.

Paul Potts, 36, sang Nessun Dorma – made famous by Luciano Pavarotti – for the judges on Britain's Got Talent TV show, who are searching for an act to perform in front of the Queen at the Royal Variety Performance and win $A250,000.

It was a daunting prospect, not only singing for a huge TV audience, but notoriously nasty Idol judge Simon Cowell.

But Potts, who has battled a burst appendix, a huge tumour on his adrenal gland and a shattered collarbone after being knocked off his bike, knocked 'em dead.

Wearing a cheap suit and with his hair cut too short, he admitted the judges weren't initially impressed.

But when he sang he blew them away.

Didn't he just? Watch for yourselves.

After we watched it for the first time, we grabbed a passing charming middle aged gentleman and made him sit through it. Result? Folks, tears rolled down his cheeks. TEARS! CHEEKS! ROLLING!

Perhaps it's Paul's face, his nervousness beforehand, that just slays us. Or perhaps it's his post-performance realisation that he's not going to be mocked but people actually think he's got something to offer. Either way, oh lord, we just want to hug him.

If you feel nothing when you watch him sing, then good day to you.

Kevin Spacey Is Over The Movie Business

Australian Post Posted by Jess McGuire at 4:51 PM on June 14, 2007

When we read the headline "I'm done with acting: Spacey", we thought perhaps we would finally hear the truth behind his infamous 4am mugging in a London park when he was simply walking his dog (not a euphemism... or is it?)

Alas, this is not the case. Instead, the Oscar winning actor has declared he is thoroughly over his "personal" theatrical career.

"I don't care about my personal acting career any more. I'm done with it," he said.

"After 10 years of making movies and going better than I ever could have imagined, I sort of had to ask myself: What am I supposed to do with all of this success that I have had?

"Am I just going to keep making movie after movie and be concerned with all of that `Are you up, are you down, are you hot, are you not?', and I don't really care."

Noted, Kevin. Anything else you'd like to get off your manly chest?

In Retrospect, The Catch-Up Was Actually Quite Amazing

Australian Post Posted by Jess McGuire at 3:40 PM on June 14, 2007

The episodes of recently boned Channel Nine chat show The Catch-Up we managed to watch never quite did it for us, and so we immediately began mocking the program whenever it was raised in conversation. But as Joni Mitchell once sang, you don't know what you got til it's gone.

Crikey.com.au have helpfully put together a list of YouTube links to the shows greatest moments, and it is compelling and essential viewing.

* Lisa gags at footage of a man eating corgi.
* Libbi and Zoe's lesbian kiss (includes bonus footage of Libbi pashing Rupert Everett)
* The ladies model Stella for Target
* The ladies discuss reverse chivalry (warning: contains too much information about the Oldfields' love life)
* Lisa's drug confessions
* Lisa's botox regret. (Reader says Lisa had a "little cat's bum mouth", Lisa gets botox, blames horse fall for swollen lips)
* The ladies discuss adultery . Lisa reveals, if a loved one murdered or cheated, "that person would be dead to me".
* Oldfield tells how she froze David's sperm post 9/11 following a series of death threats he received.


Brilliant! Jane Nethercote, we applaud you for compiling this Best Of. As one of our beloved friends put it, "After reading this, I am now wishing that The Catch Up wasn't ending."

Touche.

WE TAKE IT ALL BACK! UNBONE! UNBONE!

PS: We're also a bit obsessed with Lisa Oldfield now, if you must know.

The Chaser Lads May Not Be The Masters Of Surprise Comedy We Once Thought They Were

Australian Post Posted by Jess McGuire at 3:26 PM on June 14, 2007

It's good to see Today Tonight continuing to focus their piercing insights on the "big issues". Their latest victim legitimate targets are the ABC wunderkinds from The Chaser, who it seems stage some of their "surprise" stunts for the sake of legality and kindness.

Apparently in reprisal for The Chaser's regular attacks on tabloid television, Today Tonight last night claimed that the stunts in which they invaded a real estate agent's open house, romped naked in a bedding store, heckled at the opera ("Vivaldi is a wanker") and pretended a dog was a doctor were pre-arranged with the supposedly shocked victims.

Chas Licciardello confessed: "I'll tell you the truth about the set-ups. We actually do do set-ups every now and then ... We are not allowed to do anything illegal on the show. You and all your viewers can take this message: We are not as big a c---s as we might seem. If that dilutes the fun, I'm sorry. We only do things which are legal and when people deserve it.

Are you listening, Sophia Loren? You've been begging for a bagging, and good on these comedic non-cunty posse of folk for serving you up a long-deserved slice of insolent pie. Eat it with relish, you Mediterranean strumpet.

Soon to be featured on Today Tonight -

- Neighbours: not a thoroughly accurate view of Australian suburbia!
- All Saints cast members: don't rely on them in case of emergency!
- Sigrid Thornton: the heartless bitch doesn't give a damn what's good for you, she just wants a regular paycheck!

Shar Jackson Denies Pregnancy, Despite K-Fed's Ridiculous Knocking-Up Game

Posted by Defamer Hollywood at 12:04 PM on June 14, 2007

kfed-girls.jpgPolitics makes for strange bedfellows, as reports have surfaced of a seismic shift of allegiances over at the House of Spears: As the (tabloid-generated) plot goes, mother Lynne - heartlessly cast aside after being deemed an impediment to her rogue daughter's various head-shaving and clubtrotting needs - now finds herself cozier than ever with former pimp-in-law Kevin Federline. (K-Fed offers Lynne full access to her grandchildren, in exchange for little more than grandma covering the Fatburger tab, and perhaps sneaking dad a little spending money for "the kids to have some fun at the Stratosphere, on me"!) The estranged elder Spears, meanwhile, has taken all the expected steps towards mending fences with her troubled daughter: i.e., ambushing her at a birthday party in Beverly Hills, and offering her side of the story to Us as a cover exclusive. And despite Star Magazine's best efforts to further complicate matters by suggesting former babymama Shar Jackson was once again heavy with K-Fed child, Jackson - for whom any form of reconciliation might constitute a breach of contract that would put her Ex-Wives Club-hosting duties in jeopardy - squarely denies being knocked up by America's Most Hated, telling Us, "It is not even remotely true".

The Olsen Twins Turn 21, World Yawns, Wonders How Lindsay's Holding Up In Rehab

Posted by Defamer Hollywood at 11:54 AM on June 14, 2007

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While the Olsen Twins' passage into civically recognized womanhood three years ago was a cultural event so significant that countdown clocks ticking down the seconds until their shared 18th birthday were erected in every corner of the internet and Barely Legal magazine famously sponsored a three-week party in a handful of major American cities commemorating the occasion, today's ascent to drinking age is passing with little, if any, fanfare.

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Coming Soon To Fox: Trump's Tramps

Posted by Defamer Hollywood at 11:29 AM on June 14, 2007

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Hoping to capitalise on the media attention being lavished upon the recent meltdowns of Britney Spears, Paris Hilton, and Lindsay Lohan, billionaire reality television personality and premium-meats magnate Donald Trump is developing his next surefire hit for the downmarket Fox network, perhaps worried that The Apprentice partner NBC's oft-invoked obsession with "quality" might hamper the execution of his vision for the just-announced Lady or a Tramp. (Barely rejected original title: Trump Sluts.) It's too early in the development process for Fox to definitively reveal the show's final format, but they're already spitballing ideas for the mechanics of the crucial dismissal process and market-testing catchphrases; currently under consideration is shifting Trump from his iconic Apprentice boardroom to a set recreating his luxurious bedroom, where the unclothed, freshly serviced mogul will roll over beneath his absurdly high-thread-count sheets to reveal the identity of the week's losing contestant, then send her on her way with a curt, "You're a tramp. Cab fare's on the nightstand."

What Went On Behind The Scenes Of The Isaiah Washington Shitcanning?

Posted by Defamer Hollywood at 10:45 AM on June 14, 2007

isaiah-smile.jpgAs Isaiah Washington processes the complex feelings about his high-profile axing from Grey's Anatomy, downgrading himself from "mad as hell and not going to take it anymore", to the far more reasonable, "saddened, but will gladly work with the powers that be to see if there isn't some third solution out there that better suits everyone's interests", questions still linger as to who ordered the whacking and when. According to an AP report, it was not the decision of Grey's showrunner Shonda Rhimes - who "wept" when she made the call on Thursday - but rather a troika of high-ranking ABC studio and network execs:

The operation to remove Washington, 43, was quick and neat. The studio declined to exercise his contract option for another season - Washington would have earned about $2.7 million in salary - and he was dumped shortly after the May finale. With Dr. Burke conveniently written out of the show in the last episode, the move had to have been planned for some time.

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Isaiah Washington Opens Up About The Pain Of A Very Public 'Grey's' Dumping

Posted by Defamer Hollywood at 10:25 AM on June 14, 2007

isaiah-smile.jpg"Breaking the silence" he's maintained since his firing from Grey's Anatomy (it's hard to pinpoint the exact moment ABC knew they had to let him go, but our guess would be that once they saw tirade victim T.R. Knight draped with a feeble Labrador on the cover of The Advocate, his fate was sealed), former TV doctor Isaiah Washington opens up to EW, elaborating on the complicated, post-shitcanning emotions insufficiently evoked by his ominous "I'm mad as hell and I'm not going to take it anymore" public statement and his flack Howard Bragman's outraged, "kicked in the gut" follow-up. Washington expresses frustration that his successful completion of the apology/gayhab/PSA gauntlet jointly designed for him by his publicist, GLAAD, and the network was not enough to save his job, and discusses the reaction (and non-reactions) of his showrunner and castmates:

ENTERTAINMENT WEEKLY: How are you feeling about what happened last week? Did you think it was fair?

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City Bakery Likely To Be Wiped Out In L.A. Cupcake War

Posted by Defamer Hollywood at 9:55 AM on June 14, 2007

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While we appreciate the City Bakery's attempt to use Paris Hilton's incarceration to drum up a little buzz (as illustrated in the above photo from Eater LA), they ultimately stand no chance against the more dedicated attention-whores of Mrs. Beasly's in our city's ongoing Cupcake Wars. Sticking nail files in some spice cakes and putting up a sign is definitely cute, but demonstrates that the Brentwood outfit lacks the dedication of rivals who have proven they're willing to fellate swarming news crews for coverage or slaughter a disloyal A-lister. Until they accost Rick and Kathy on one of their well-publicised visits to their jailed daughter and demand they deliver their "Visitation Cakes" in front of dozens of cameras, we have no choice but to dismiss them as lazy dilettantes lacking in killer instinct.

Trade Roundup: 'On the Lot' CancellationWatch: Fox Taking Plug In Its Hand, Wondering How Hard It Has To Pull To End Series' Misery

Posted by Defamer Hollywood at 9:25 AM on June 14, 2007

onthelot.jpg· Neither a second straight mind-scrambling week of screening its contestants' application films nor a renewed, audience-distracting focus on host Adrianna Costa's cleavage has increased interest in Fox's deeply fucked troubled On the Lot, which drew just 2.9 million viewers and now stands accused of poisoning people against perfectly good House reruns. If things don't turn around quickly (or if the show isn't mercy killed by the end of June), look for EP Steven Spielberg to withdraw the $US1 million DreamWorks deal prize, leaving the scrambling network to replace it with a four-week intership as the guy in charge of getting hot extras' phone numbers for Week One judge Brett Ratner. [Variety] · What's Jennifer Aniston up to these days, besides appearing on the cover of Us Weekly underneath headlines about her ongoing struggle to cope with her 2005 divorce from Brad Pitt? You know, this n' that, a little producing, a little acting. Just stuff! [THR] · Tapping the same creative mother lode that yielded plans for a Ice Cube-led Welcome Back Kotter remake, Screen Gems is updating The Big Chill with an African-American cast. The full talent roster isn't set, but Terrence Howard is in early negotiations to reprise Kevin Costner's casket-filling role. [Variety] · William Hurt joins Ed Norton and Tim Roth in Marvel Studios' Hulk project, which continues its curious obsession with collecting talented actors for a comic book movie. [THR] · Rachel Weisz will star in the Peter Jackson-directed adaptation of The Lovely Bones, a fine choice for a movie we're actually looking forward to. [Variety]Casting,

Short Ends: YouTubers Second-Guess The Cut To Black

Posted by Defamer Hollywood at 9:10 AM on June 14, 2007


· Minutes and minutes of fun (and a deepened appreciation for David Chase's genius) can be had with YouTube and the search query "Sopranos alternate ending". · There's is definitely something a little perverse about a Luke/Vader Father's Day gift set. · Angelina Jolie wears a $US26 outfit (not including shoes) to the NY premiere of A Mighty Heart; if her candidacy for sainthood wasn't already a lock, it certainly is now. · Catwoman money buys a pretty nice spread in Silver Lake.

'Free Sean Stewart' Movement Not Gaining Steam After Least Favorite Hollywood Son Taken Into Police Custody

Posted by Defamer Hollywood at 9:04 AM on June 14, 2007

stewart-bar.jpgSean Stewart, the differently abled progeny of Rod Stewart and one-third of the Sons of Hollywood - A&E's attempt at packaging the lives, dreams, and chronic stupidity of second-generation showbiz overclass as reality entertainment - was quietly taken into custody yesterday, minus the accompanying news choppers and public outrage that have marked recent, similar events. His crime dates back to an incident from nearly two months ago, when Stewart, angry after being denied entry to a party in the Hills, attacked a couple in a passing car with "a rock, brick, bottle, metal, missile, and substance capable of doing serious bodily harm", according to the felony complaint for his arrest:

[Stewart] spent nearly an hour locked up in a Hollywood police station, where he was charged with four felonies, including two counts of assault with a deadly weapon, one count of vandalism and one count of throwing substance at a vehicle.

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'L Word' Has Now Evolved Into A Show About Virtual People

Posted by Defamer Hollywood at 8:59 AM on June 14, 2007

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Following last year's Fanisode contest comes The L Word's latest foray into the arena of cutting-edge promotion: The series has teamed with cyber community Second Life to create a Virtual Lesbian World, where fans can dress up an avatar (Butch and Lipstick options not yet available), and mingle with other L-Word fans at the virtual The L-Word Club (pictured above, looking not unlike the virtual L-Word Women's Detention Facility), grab a coffee at The Planet café, or catch a lecture at the Amphitheatre.

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Spielberg Appoints Hillary Clinton To Presidency

Dealing a death blow to once-trendy Democratic presidential candidate Barack Obama's chances of landing the crucial entertainment industry endorsement that spurred Presidents Gore and Kerry on to historic White House tenures, show business deity Steven Spielberg has officially anointed... Read More »

Children Of Talk Show Hosts Free To Once Again Frolick Outdoors With News Of Letterman Babynapper's Capture

Irascible late night fixture David Letterman can breathe a little more easily tonight - well, as easily as someone who just accidentally broke his nose playing with his three-year-old son can be expected to - as Montana officials have... Read More »

The Hunt For America's Best Singing Ogre Begins

Clear your calendars, underemployed, musical-loving actors of Los Angeles, for you've been officially notified that the cattle-call that could deliver you the kind of Broadway superstardom you've always dreamed of is at hand. Next Wednesday, thousands upon thousands of... Read More »

BFR-MobileWatch: Transformers-Stickered Car Spotted At Burbank Strip Mall

The Defamer Special Correspondent on Cost-Conscious Summer Blockbuster Promotion just beamed us this cameraphone photo revealing the recent whereabouts of the Transformers BigFuckingRobotsMobile first spotted at the Burbank Staples on Monday morning. Dreamworks' economy-class rolling command center was parked... Read More »