Friday, June 8, 2007
YouTube Clip Of The Day
3:39PM Jess McGuire | We haven’t decided whether or not this is the sweetest fucking thing we’ve ever seen on the internet, or the most disturbing.
If you’ll excuse us, we’re off to get us a slice of that delicious IVF pie. More » 
Jordan Says “We’re Having A Girl” And Then Talks About Peter Andre’s Cock
3:24PM Jess McGuire | Our love of Jordan and Peter Andre continues to grow and grow with each passing minute.
While nothing will ever top the feeling of admiration we mustered up toward the Price-Andre household when we – and the internet – had the privilege of witnessing Jordan’s son Harvey’s explosive rage toward step-dad Peter Andre, the following snippet of Jordan genius did get the heart racing just a little bit faster.
Glamour model Jordan is expecting a baby girl. Jordan, 29, real name Katie Price, denied reports she planned to call the next arrival Crystal. But she said: “I’m very excited. I’ve got my three boys and a little princess.”
Yes, yes. But what of Peter Andre’s penis?
Jordan is relieved hubby Peter Andre is on the mend after his recent battle with viral meningitis. She told New: “The weight’s only gone from his waist. It hasn’t gone from his nice, broad shoulders and pecs. And he hasn’t lost any weight off his willy, so that’s good. It’s still nice and big.”
Phew. More » This Should Be Fascinating Viewing.
3:19PM Jess McGuire | Tonight on SBS you can catch a documentary about the murder of Bulgarian broadcaster Georgi Markov!
Markov was an outspoken critic of Bulgaria’s communist regime, a position that made him an obvious political target. An encounter with a man on Waterloo Bridge in which Markov was nudged with an umbrella point, seemingly accidentally, took a deadly twist when he died three days later.
The “Umbrella Murder”, as it became known, remains one of the most famous – unsolved – cases of the Cold War.
We suppose that the moral of Markov’s story is that despite what popular culture is trying to insist, it is never a good idea to stand under a stranger’s umbrella.
Ella ella.
Eh eh eh.
(We apologise profusely for what just happened). More » 
Gisele And The Pope Battle It Out For The Souls Of Brazilian Youth
3:00PM Jess McGuire | We’re always mighty chuffed when models step off the catwalk and leap carefully coiffed hairstyle first into social issues. In this instance, Leonardo DiCaprio’s ex Gisele Bundchen has declared the Pope’s views on sexuality to be obsolete, and insists “no one” is a virgin when they get married.
Bundchen is idolised by many young women in Brazil, the world’s largest Catholic country, where debate over sexual issues has intensified around a visit by Pope Benedict last month.
The Pope stressed the church’s firm opposition to abortion and contraception and railed against sex outside of marriage.
The Brazilian beauty, one of the world’s top models, told Folha de S.Paulo newspaper in an interview that, when the church made its laws centuries ago, women were expected to be virgins.
“Today no one is a virgin when they get married … show me someone who’s a virgin!” she said.
“Ahem.”
Indeed. More » 
Paris Hilton Ordered Back To Court; Also: Century City Hotel MonkeySex!
12:59PM Defamer Hollywood | After all we’ve been through today, we really don’t have the strength to plow through yet another update, but we should note that a judge has ordered the controversially home-jailed Hilton to appear in court tomorrow morning, where the city attorney and a representative of the L.A. County Sheriff’s Department will each grab one of the heiress’s arms and pull with all their might, with control of the prisoner’s fate awarded to whichever party winds up holding the larger piece of mangled heiress. Should be fun! But who wants to linger on such nastiness when there are far more interesting things going on around town, like the couple who spent all afternoon screwing on their balcony at the Hyatt Century Plaza, putting on a free show that kept those with a view from the nearby MGM building from getting anything done? We mention this mostly because we haven’t been offered a single cameraphone shot of the hott, balcony-boning action, and that makes us profoundly sad. Sometimes we need a little more than some pictures of skywriting to help us get through a long day. Hilton ordered to return to court [LAT] More »
Short Ends: Clooney Coronated
12:40PM Defamer Hollywood | · Who crowned Clooney King of Hollywood when we weren’t looking? · We’re told that there might be a topless picture of Mila Kunis here, but we’ve been way too busy to check it for ourselves. [UPDATE: We're told it's a fake that they mocked up for the movie. Mila Kunis's virtue is restored!] · There’s a $14 million Kevin Costner DVD for sale – and it’s not even The Guardian. · Denis Leary laments that hypocritical T-Mobile isn’t more rape-positive. · And, finally, an afternoon palate-cleanser. More »
Cloris Leachman Stunned To Learn She Won’t Play Frau Blucher (Whinny) In ‘Frankenstein’ Musical
11:43AM Defamer Hollywood | Beloved Brooksian muse Cloris Leachman, who, with the exception perhaps of a double Golden Girls sighting, has been clinically proven to be most effective at eliciting squeals of approval from gay men over the age of 45, has been dealt the lowest of blows by the unkind business we call show. Reports Variety’s veteran entertainment reporter Army “Hollywood’s Original Blogger” Archerd: A heartbroken Cloris Leachman says she’s not to play Frau Blucher in Mel Brooks’ musicalised “Young Frankenstein.” Cloris reports she was given that word in a letter from director Susan Stroman (”The Producers”). “I was told they don’t want to go like the movie” – in which Cloris created the Frau Blucher character in 1974. More »
Hollywood A Little Too Distracted To Pay Attention To Blurry Messages From Above
10:57AM Defamer Hollywood | As this afternoon drags on, we’ve become increasingly desperate for any material not related to either The House-Arrested Socialite Who Shall Not Be Named, At Least In This Post or the imminent destruction of various entertainment industry outposts along Wilshire Boulevard. But salvation finally arrived in the form of this reader-supplied cameraphone photo of the sky above the Fox lot, illustrating ABC Family’s efforts to publicise Kyle XY, a basic cable television show that our research has revealed to be about a teenage boy’s struggles to remove a tight-fitting undershirt. Additionally, the bothersome buzzing of skywriting biplanes (really, this stunt never gets old!) prompted some others to document the difficult of properly rendering a airborne promotional message on a windy day: I just thought you guys should know: apparently ABC Family is getting pretty desperate to get viewers for the show “Kyle XY”. As of right now, for the second time today, we have skywriters outside our office in Brentwood writing a barely legible ‘Kyle XY’ in the windy skies above Wilshire Blvd. More »
Richie Sambora Slips Into Rehab While No One Is Looking
9:40AM Defamer Hollywood | Because we once swore on a stack of six-month-old glossies in the lobby of a shady direct-to-video production company in Simi Valley to exhaustively chronicle every celebrity detox attempt that crossed our desks – with no celebrity too paunchy, sunburned, or sloppy-seconded to escape our scrutiny – we pass along news of the latest in what will surely go down as a bounty year for rehabs: “Richie Sambora has entered an undisclosed treatment facility in Los Angeles,” the rep said in a statement. “He asks that you respect he and his family’s privacy at this time.” More »
