Bad news for Mel Gibson, it would seem. The National Enquirer has reported that the troubled actor/director/producer/

Eyebrows shot up when Mel Gibson walked into an AA meeting near his Malibu home, stumbled over a row of seats and crash-landed atop them. "He was falling, tripping and clearly off balance," said a source. "It was an embarrassing moment." Later that evening, Mel stumbled into a petite woman, knocking her off balance. “And he didn't even apologize!” said the source. "He looked so out of it."

Now it seems unfair to jump to conclusions that he was shickered, folks. The man gets a little clumsy at an AA meeting and we crucify him?

Yeah, you're right. He was probably quite pissed.

Smashing Pumpkin's frontman and celebrity sook of yesteryear Billy Corgan made fun of David Hasselhoff during a recent secret gig by the band in Germany.

American rockers Smashing Pumpkins shocked fans last night by performing a secret gig in Germany, and using it to mock the country's love of David Hasselhoff. The recently reformed band - showing off a new line-up - performed an acoustic set for 200 fans in Berlin.

After wowing the intimate crowd with all of their classic hits, frontman Billy Corgan embarked on a question and answer session, during which he poked fun at the former Baywatch star - who has enjoyed a phenomenally successful pop career in Germany.

When asked why he chose the German word Zeitgeist for the band's new album, Corgan replied, "Because the word Hasselhoff was taken."

He added, "We don't like to play our old material, we get Hasselhoff to play the songs off Siamese Dream (their 1993 second album)."

Cutting edge humour there, sir! Sterling work. It'll always be 2005 in the comic mind of Billy Corgan. Just wait until the band launch into a massive world tour, and Billy begins tickling ribs with his thoughts on Chuck Norris!

Celebrity break ups are hard, aren't they? More so than the break ups of non-famous people, because celebrities are better than us so their pain counts for so much more. So we were sad to discover today that Marilyn Manson is worried about the divvying up of he and Dita Von Teese's collection of dead things.

He says: "I have four taxidermied baboons, two monkeys, a white peacock, a turtle and a wild boar. I went through a dramatic lifestyle change with my home after the break-up. I left it. When you get separated, you lose so much. I don't what she'll say when I ask for them back."

We'll hazard a guess and suppose she'd say something along the lines of "Are you still fucking that nineteen year old?"

Evan Rachel Wood, what are you thinking?

Check out this amazing clip of Kylie and Dannii belting out "Sisters Are Doing It For Themselves" back in the heady days of Young Talent Time and marvel at their gravity defying perms. Despite its age, the footage is nothing short of wondrous.

(applauds loudly)

We read a reference to Australian actress Frances O'Connor earlier today and began to wonder... what on earth has happened to her? One minute, along with Cate Blanchett, she was the thespian wonder from Down Under in the States, and went from starring in Aussie flicks like Thank God He Met Lizzieto appearing alongside Brendan Fraser in Bedazzled and Jude Law in AI: Artificial Intelligence.

But what is she doing now? We forgot she existed until this afternoon, and quickly turned to Google which showed that she's laid pretty low since giving birth to her first child in 2005.

Google also turned up the Wikipedia page of another performer named Frances O'Conner. We think we prefer this one.

Frances Belle O'Connor (September 8, 1914 – January 30, 1982) was born in Granite Falls, Minnesota. She was born entirely without arms, and made her living by appearing in various circus sideshows as the armless wonder or the living Venus de Milo. She would perform various tricks, such as eating, drinking and smoking a cigarette, all using her feet in place of the missing hands.

She also appeared in the controversial 1932 film, Freaks, directed by Tod Browning, in which a number of real people with physical abnormalities played themselves or other characters.

O'Connor never married, although it was said that she was never short of admirers. She died in relative obscurity in Long Beach, California in 1982.

Add another to the list! We might start making a list of relative unknowns who have proved themselves to be far more intriguing than their celebrity namesakes.

Elite skier Zali Steggall - remember her? - has opened up to the Daily Telegraph about her recent split from husband David Cameron. It seems David was playing away from home, but despite her disappointment at her marriage's implosion, Steggall says the pair are staying on good terms for the sake of their two children.

All well and good (or in actual fact, not so well and good), but the only reason we point out the article is because we quite enjoy Zali's morally superior tone in the following bit.

"Both our parents have just celebrated 40-year wedding anniversaries, so infidelity and divorce weren't things I was planning to deal with,'' Steggall said.

Unlike most people starting off a marriage, then.

Apparently, there was some confusion earlier today concerning whether or not special-needs-cellblock socialite Paris Hilton was able to bypass a "humiliating" intake body cavity search upon her arrival at Century, the hottest celebrity-incarceration destination in Lynwood. While a NY Post report claimed that Hilton's potentially weapons-concealing nether-regions went unsearched, local detention facility watchdog organization TMZ can now exclusively confirm that the heiress's privileged cavities were not afforded any special treatment; fortunately, despite the thorough probing, the miniature recording devices TMZ implanted deep within Hilton during a recent Hyde blackout were not discovered, allowing the site to continue compiling its suspiciously detailed prison diary features without interruption.

• Paris DID Have to Spread 'Em! [TMZ]
• PARIS BAWLS IN JAIL [NY Post]

For those of you who prefer to live in the recent past, peering wistfully over your shoulders at the halcyon days when a neon-bethonged Kazakh reporter delighted audiences with his naïve take on sister-pimping and fist-shaped dildo usage, we bring to you news of yet more Borat-related litigiousness. No, not even the movie's Fleeing, Freaked-Out New York City Guy was able to find the humour in his brief but memorable cameo, as his somewhat late-to-the-party lawsuit outlines. Reports The Smoking Gun:

Jeffrey Lemerond, 31, claims in a U.S. District Court complaint that the film depicts him "fleeing in apparent terror" from Borat, the phony Kazakh reporter portrayed by Cohen...Lemerond notes that he was screaming "go away" at Cohen, who was seeking a hug from the rattled stranger.

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On Memorial Day, Oscar-winner and Horatio Sanz's onetime gay-cruising partner Cuba Gooding Jr. had pulled up to Roscoe's House of Chicken n Waffles on Gower to pick up some deep-fried dinner for the family. What followed, reports Gatecrasher, was an astounding act of celebrity selflessness, as a quick-thinking Cuba leaped to the aid of a young gunshot victim:

The 39-year-old Oscar winner was waiting in his car outside a Hollywood restaurant "when he heard four gunshots", says a source. "Cuba was picking up dinner for his family on the night of Memorial Day," says the spy. "He saw a young kid holding his head and walked toward him. The kid was bleeding from his neck and collapsed."

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For Jericho fans anxiously awaiting confirmation of the rumours that their grassroots campaign to save the series had actually worked, today comes official word from on high: This morning, a tiny, white flag poked out of the gargantuan mound of peanuts that currently stands where CBS headquarters used to be. It was waved weakly (there was precious little oxygen for the executives trapped beneath to breath), and was followed by a rolled-up sheet of CBS letterhead, which eventually landed with a bounce at the feet of the small army of chanting Jericho activists hoisting placards at its base. This is what it read:

"Wow! Over the past few weeks you have put forth an impressive and probably unprecedented display of passion in support of a prime time television series," CBS Entertainment President Nina Tassler said in a letter to "Jericho" boosters. [...]

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Grey's Anatomy's T.R. Knight, who reluctantly found himself the face of a new generation of TV actors forced to openly acknowledge their sexuality after a meanie co-star with a toilet mouth and nasty temper called them a bad word during a Hollywood workplace fracas, has stated that he was in the dark regarding his fate on the show. Similarly, gayhabbed nemesis Isaiah Washington - recent star of his very own "don't call people epithets, it hurts their feelings" public service announcement - was also questioning whether his services would again be required at Seattle Grace, especially after the season-ending cliffhanger had him skipping town. Cast members have recently said they were confident everyone would return - something EW.com confirms today through a well-placed source:

According to one insider close to the negotiation, Knight has agreed to a new contract that will boost his per-episode salary to roughly $125,000 and give him a small piece of the show profits (pay hikes and profit points were also granted to many of Knight's co-stars, including Patrick Dempsey, Ellen Pompeo, and Sandra Oh).

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Early celebrity sex tape innovator Rob Lowe once again finds himself at the center of unwelcome controversy, as a well-intentioned round of golf at the Principal Charity Classic Pro-Am in Des Moines has resulted in the the Brothers and Sisters star committing unpremeditated goldfinchicide. His shot struck and killed not just a bird, but the state bird of Iowa:

Lowe's shot appeared to hit the bird in flight and landed about 50 yards short of the green. As the rest of the players in his group - including Iowa athletic director Gary Barta - broke out in laughter and applause, the 43-year-old actor raised his arms in mock celebration. "This is my birdie," Lowe said after examining the fallen bird, which was on the ground and not moving as his group walked toward the green.

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Last night's edition of brain-smoothing dinnertime celebrity newsmagazine Extra offered up a crazy-flavoured appetiser for the upcoming Bravo reality series, Hey, Paula!!!, in which the American Idol judge unscrews the top of her head and allows the world an opportunity to climb inside and stroll around the church-parking-lot-quality carnival that is her mind. The brief clip reveals little, but now we do know this: her "best friend" is her stylist (always a sign that a famous person has disengaged from reality), there are many fluffy dogs - some of which will defecate on camera - underfoot to provide believable excuses for medication-induced mishaps, and we will get some glimpses of the Idol-related "exhaustion" incidents that are the reason the show exists in the first place. Unfortunately, we have to wait until late June before the star can officially welcome us into her home, a greeting that we expect will be followed by Abdul handing us a shopping bag full of half-empty prescription-pill bottles and urging us to makes ourselves at home.

• Extra TV [warnerbros.com]

The recent announcement that Warner Bros. would be resurrecting He-Man for yet another big-screen adaptation stirred little in us, other than a vague feeling that our childhood had once again been diddled by a studio desperate for ideas and mild disappointment that they hadn't chosen the relatively underexploited, vastly superior Thundercats for their 80s cartoon revival project. Imagine, then, the mixture of delight and fear we experienced upon reading in today's Var that Warners has optioned a script that could one day result in Lion-O, Panthro, Cheetara (inevitably to be played by Brandon Routh, Michael Clark Duncan, and Elisha Cuthbert) and their mutant-feline clan battling Mumm-Ra (Kevin Spacey, cashing an easy paycheck) at your local multiplex. But as Dolph Lundren's beloved Masters movie has set the creative bar dauntingly high for the new He-Man project, the successful development of Thundercats faces its own challenge, as the cartoon has already received a live-action treatment that arguably obviates the need for further updates. A clip of this visionary masterwork follows after the jump:

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If you need an example of how desperate networks become during awards season, look no further than today's For Your Consideration ad for The L Word (click above for the full version), in which Showtime demonstrates it craves Emmy legitimacy so badly that it's conspicuously de-emphasising the show's lesbian spirit in a transparent, misguided attempt to increase its appeal to voters. Even worse than the cynicism behind this strike at the program's Sapphic core is that the ploy could easily backfire, driving away viewers who fear that Showtime has suddenly removed all the hot-girl-on-even-hotter-girl action that made the show popular in the first place. [Image: Digital Variety]

• The L Word[SHO.com]

Today's LAT story chronicling how a lawsuit over the Mike White film Year of the Dog filed by onetime pal Laura Kightlinger has irreversibly damaged their relationship is just the latest reminder that the soul-devouring entertainment industry eventually gobbles... Read More »

· Despite Fox's attempts to boost the struggling On the Lot's fortunes by editing the show into a more compact, once-a-week, we-will-give-five-dollars-to-anyone- who-can-explain-what-the-fuck- is-going-on-at-any-given-moment format, the show draws just 3.1 million viewers in what we assume will be one of its last airings. We did, however, enjoy Michael Bay's guest judge appearance, during which he repeatedly shared his moviemaking philosophy of "get a good editor and cinematographer and they'll cover for your lack of talent", then seemed barely able to restrain himself from hitting on the director of his favourite film. [THR] · Shadowy Hollywood Foreign Press puppetmaster Phillip Berk is replaced by five-time president Jorge Camara, who assumes the important tasks of coordinating his organisation's locust-like decimation of the industry's free buffets and the handing out of meaningless awards to shitfaced actors. [Variety] · The Agent Dance Mini Edition: UTA poaches agent Sarah Clossey from Paradigm, potentially absorbing a middling client list that includes Amanda Peet's Shouty NBS Boss and The One Jim Could Never Love As Much As Pam. [THR] · Peter O'Toole joins the cast of Showtime's The Tudors for seven episodes as Pope Paul III, a performance that's preemptively been nominated for an Emmy. [Variety] · Judd Apatow Comedy HegemonyWatch: The Apatow-produced, Seth Rogen-starring Pineapple Express is given a summer '08 release date following the success of Knocked Up. [Variety]

· Look! Lindsay's enabling, fame-craving mom is literally riding around on her daughter's back now! · No matter how that Emmy situation shakes out, Showtime can be happy it at least landed three members of the The L Word's cast in the top ten of AfterEllen's Hot 100 list of lesbian lust objects. · Completely unsubstantiated rumor: Nicole Richie's reproductive system functioning against all odds. · You should really be ashamed at yourselves for looking at photos of Maggie Gyllenhaal breastfeeding. Sickies, all of you.

It's been eerily quiet in the area around 2000 Avenue of the Stars of late, a prolonged silence that seems to have neighbours a little paranoid that the CAA Death Star's outward inactivity is intended to mask the imminent... Read More »