No Rock & Roll Fun reports that Song BMG made a bit of an error when marketing their recently released Clash singles compilation.

Following the great success of the acclaimed Clash box set, comes the release of the 'The Singles' best of album. With 18 classics from 'London Calling' to 'White Riot' and a bonus track 'Train In Vain', this is the perfect album for every fan gearing up for Joe Strummer's Australian tour this October.

Presumably this is the perfect album to get new fans excited about Joe Stummer, before Song BMG gently break the news to the recent converts that Joe Strummer passed away in December of 2002, and he wasn't wearing Docs at the time.

This clip is not for the squeamish as it's pretty revolting. But Defamer Australia has seen this happen before our own eyes back in the day! We have also had a large male chimp approach us with their erection but that is neither here nor there.

Our favourite part of the clip is the bit where the girl in the background yells "You're a nasty little man!" at the poo-eating simian.

George Noble-May, the man who decided that oysters just weren't sexy enough and logically concluded they should be amped up with a nice shot of Viagra, is devastated to discover that an email from Google congratulating him on being the hottest internet topic in the history of anything didn't, in fact, come from 'Google corporate' but rather some cheeky funster intent on mischief.

On Sunday night National Nine News broadcast a report about a man who came up with an idea to lace Sydney Rock Oysters with Viagra and sell them as souped up aphrodisiacs.

George Noble-May, the Central Coast resident behind the project, told viewers that the story was "exploding" around the world, so much so that even Google had emailed congratulating him for having one of the internet's hottest stories.

The email's "from" field showed that it had been sent by "corporate@google.com". The message read: "Congratulations! The Viagra oyster story is the fastest growing internet story since 9/11 with over 700,000 links in 24 hours."

It was signed: "Google corporate" (sic).

Trouble is, the email is a hoax. Google knows that and has since informed him.

"We're not in the habit of sending congratulatory emails to individuals whose stories receive a large number of hits on Google," a Google Australia spokesman told smh.com.au in response to a query about the claim.

We're just flabbergasted that the brains in Channel Nine news didn't question it at all, although perhaps they were distracted by the important business of lining up a $44 million 'investment' with a Nigerian politician stricken with esophageal cancer.

Mr Noble-May was disappointed to hear about the hoax. Worse still, his computer has now been infected with a virus which was probably delivered when he opened the email.

"I've framed the bloody thing and put it up on the wall and now I'm trying to figure out where it came from, " he said. "But I'll tell you what, I've been accused of many things in my life but never of being stupid."

Mr Noble-May, a marketing consultant, said he was "so thrilled" to receive the Google-gram on Saturday morning that he "instantly rang" Channel Nine reporter Heidi Couch. "Guess what I've received'," he said.

....

Mr Noble-May said he had tried to contact the email sender at least three times, but without success.

"G'day from Downunder," he wrote on Saturday soon after he read the Google-gram. "Thanks for the info. Amazing what the net can do. I'll frame the email with pride. All the best to you and yours, George May."

All he got back was what looked to be an automated response saying his email had been received.

"Obviously, I'm not dumb, if I'd knew there was anything wrong with it at that point I'd have gone 'shit I'm not going to put that on national television on Sunday night'."

And yet... and yet...

On the upside, Google may well congratulate him on being a huge breaking story on the web yet, what with the hoax story no doubt destined to become a popular topic of conversation online.

Score!

In a recent article about Dannii Minogue, Sydney Confidential managed to impress us with both their choice of comic headline and the charming way they finished it off.

Reproduced for your non-clicking enjoyment.

Dannii's after some more talent

She was all sweetness (read: boring) on Australia's Got Talent but Dannii Minogue has vowed to sharpen her talons on UK wannabes in her new TV gig.

Mini Minogue has finally confirmed reports she'll be on the judging panel of The X-Factor in England alongside American Idol hanging judge Simon Cowell and Sharon Osbourne.

...

They may also see her flirt for the cameras, after describing the program's fourth judge Brit celebrity Brian Friedman as "hot."

You're supposed to score the contestants, Dannii, not with your workmates.

Oh, you wags. We see what you did with the "Dannii's after some more talent" bit and we liked it.

Yesterday we figured our personal desire to see Augie March win the APRA Song Of The Year award at last night's ceremony would mean they'd certainly lose, as we have a tendency to bring bad luck upon everything we hold sacred and dear.

But wahey! Our love found a way, and Augie March won out!

A song inspired by old Bob Dylan records and war cameraman the late Neil Davis was last night crowned the song of the year by Australian songwriters.

Augie March justified pre-award favourite status when it pipped Eskimo Joe, the John Butler Trio, Gotye and Wolfmother to win the APRA Song of the Year Award for One Crowded Hour in a lavish ceremony at the Melbourne Town Hall.

The song's author, Glenn Richards, who joins an esteemed group including Paul Kelly, Neil Finn and Nick Cave, scored a double when he was awarded the Breakthrough Songwriter of the Year gong. But it is somewhat of a misnomer, as Richards has been writing songs for more than 10 years.

Hearty congratulations to the band, and bad luck to Wolfmother, Eskimo Joe, John Butler Trio and Gotye. We're sure they'll be able to distract themselves through the pain by listening to Black Sabbath, demanding Sarah tells them her name, sticking it to "the man", and being fucking adorable (respectively).

Defying the critics who thought she was "concentration camp" skinny, fiery ginge Alice has won Australia's Next Top Model.

There was no holds barred as fashion experts argued their case as to who should become Australia's third Next Top Model.

Their choice was Alice Burdeu, 19, the Melbourne fashion model at the centre of recent fashion industry weight debates.

She beat Stephanie Hart, who was the minimum age of 16 when she entered the competition but was told several times by judges tonight, that while angelic at age 17, she was too young to match models on the world's most exclusive runways.

Burdeu labelled her win as "like, crazy".

"It's such a platform to go on to other things," she said after her victory.

Like, model!

Considering every single person we know swears that Australia's Next Top Model was one of the most amazing reality shows ever broadcast on Aussie television, next time around we're going to ensure we catch every scintillating, malnourished, bitchy minute of the program.

It seems that Alan Jones' special brand of prejudice and cock-knockery will no longer be required by Channel Nine's Today show, with the program (well, station bosses) choosing to stop broadcasting Jones' editorials as of mid-June.

The first swing of the axe by the Nine television network's new private-equity owners has fallen on Sydney broadcaster Alan Jones, a long-time Packer family ally, saving up to $100,000 a year.

Jones' 60 to 90 second editorial spot on Nine's morning news and chat show Today, which has been running for the past two decades, will end on June 15.

One less outlet for his spiteful idiocy! Our heart goes out to the close-minded, vitriolic little fucker.

· Can't three Hollywood buddies pose for some photos on their knees without people taking cheap shots at the nature of their friendship anymore? · That's right, ladies: Larry David is back on the market. And as for the guys, Laurie David's got to be worth at least $100 million (assuming Larry didn't have her sign a Massey prenup), so bone up on your environmentally savvy pick-up lines (the one about checking out the back seat of your Prius is a classic) and get to work. · E! Online details the hidden dangers of your innocent searches for photos of Britney Spears' vagina. · Though he finds Judd Apatow cuddly, Peter Bart isn't buying the Knocked Up hype. Is the cantankerous Var chief's heart made of stone? [Photo: Getty Images]

No, it's not just you: Most news seems utterly besides the point lately, eclipsed by the fact that America's favourite socialite, Paris Hilton, is currently sitting behind bars, squandering some of the most prime weeks of her life. And for what? The DUI-probation-violating equivalent of having stolen a loaf of bread. We bring you a round-up of all things Prisoner Paris as she continues to pay her debt to society within the walls of Lynwood: · Hollywood madam Jody "Babydol" Gibson, who's done hard time, warns us that Paris will emerge from from her experience a changed, hairier person, as all manner of tweezers, razors and hair-removal wax are forbidden in jail. Still, Paris is nothing if not resourceful, and it won't belong that she figures out that some table syrup, smuggled from the dining hall on Pancake Tuesdays and left for a few days in a sunny windowsill, should quickly congeal into an adequate depilatory substitute. [NY Daily News] · Hilton lawyer Richard A. Hutton has visited Paris, and reports that she is doing well, but being kept away from the rest of the population in a solitary cell, from which she'll be permitted to emerge for one hour a day. "She's using this time to reflect on her life, to see what she can do to make the world better," he explained, before a bolt of lighting emerged out of the clear, blue sky and reduced him to a small pile of smoking ash. [Yahoo/AP]

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Page Six has positively identified former TRL and ET microphone-holder and current Nick Lachey sexual partner Vanessa Minnillo as Lindsay Lohan's semi-mysterious co-star in the indie cokesploitation drama Crazed Lohan Dices With Death, which premiered to critical acclaim in the UK's News of the World yesterday. Puzzlingly, Page Six concludes that the sporadically employed Minnillo "might have a hard time getting a new job because of the risqué party pictures", a statement that leads us to believe that they didn't even bother to view the photos before casting such a dim light on the host's career prospects. The aspiring actress clearly steals every scene she's in from her higher-billed, overrated castmate, whether playing the role of sultry victim or breast-stabbing villainess, demonstrating that she'd make a perfectly acceptable - and much more affordable - alternative to Lohan should the troubled starlet linger in Promises longer than the too-patient producers of Poor Things are willing to wait.

• Knife Pix Might Cost Minnillo [Page Six]
• CONFIRMED - VANESSA MINNILLO IS LINDSAY'S KNIFE PLAY PARTNER! [X17Online.com]

Great news indeed for fans of CBS's Jericho: It seems burying a network in thousands of kilos of shelled peanuts delivered by suspiciously friendly-looking UPS workers is indeed an effective way of convincing shortsighted programming executives to reconsider their decisions to cancel low-rated nuclear war dramas. Reports TVGuide.com in a Jericho! Fan Resurrection! Exclusive!:

Multiple sources are telling me that CBS is thisclose to sealing a deal to bring Jericho back for at least eight episodes, possibly at mid-season.

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Every so often, we like to share with our readers the PR-firm-supplied detritus that clutters our inbox, whether it's taken the form of publicist-penned dispatches from the front of the bloody Beverly Hills cupcake wars (by the way, has anyone heard from Orlando Bloom since his red velvet whacking?) or an opportunistic fast food chain's brazen attempts to exploit cheap houseband labour. Before the arrival earlier today of an e-mail that would forever change our lives for the better, we were completely unaware of StarStyle.com, the leading online destination for "getting the look" of your favourite television and movie characters. But now the scales have fallen from our eyes: Thanks to a press release pegged to the staggering opening weekend success of Knocked Up, we can now let the world know that if they visit StarStyle, they can easily replicate the fashion choices of the film's sexually irresponsible protagonists, assembling with a few mouse clicks a sassy ensemble that says, "I am out at this trendy Hollywood club to get wasted enough to let you fill me up with your slacker love child." Fun! The entire press release follows after the jump for those who can't wait to get started on raiding "Alison's" closet:

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It's been a good run for Lionsgate marketing co-president and shock-artist-in-residence Tim Palen, whose groundbreaking work composing controversial Bijou-Phillips-beheading, Wienerdog-inverting (pictured), and director-dong-exposing imagery to promote the upcoming Hostel: Part II are getting exactly the kind of media attention the studio was surely hoping for, culminating in today's LAT story about his campaigns. But what makes selling a horror flick with an image of a naked Phillips toting her head around like a Prada purse any different than what the much-maligned Captivity crew (coincidentally, a movie also distributed by Lionsgate! Funny how that worked out.) did with their billboard tutorials on how to kidnap, torture, and execute Elisha Cuthbert? Palen explains to the Times::

Palen defends his work in two ways: in terms of context and execution. The poster of a naked Phillips holding her severed head in her hands, he says, "is completely inappropriate to be on a billboard on the street or even in the lobby of our offices." But he says it is suitable for theatres in foreign markets - where people are far less concerned about sexual images - and for hard-core horror fans. "It's for the boys in the backpacks at these comic conventions, waiting in line for hours to get the posters signed," says Palen.

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A Defamer operative who shall remain nameless so that he won't suffer the public humiliation of admitting that he was perusing the official ABC website for Desperate Housewives (which, much to our bafflement, continues to exist on the schedule despite its removal from our DVR season pass list three episodes into the second season - doesn't hitting the delete button send an immediate cancellation notice to Steve McPherson?) pointed us to this curiously blank "About" page, which seems to indicate that someone expects multiple Emmys are coming in mid-September. We suppose it's possible that the space is intended to recognise the show's former winners, but we prefer to think that its producers are boldly servicing notice to the hyberverbal bitches of Grey's Anatomy, who've been hogging the network spotlight for far too long.

• Desperate Housewives [ABC.com]

· Time Warner officially announces that interim CEO Bill Nelson will be permanently replacing the recently shitcanned Chris Albrecht, confident that their newly installed leader will keep himself free of PR-nightmare altercations at Vegas valet stands. [Variety] · Idol... Read More »

It's been way too long since we've read a good story hinting at the unspeakable horrors that would inevitably follow a potential Writers Guild strike, but today's Variety piece on how a work stoppage will impact reality TV production... Read More »