· Ah, that's better. Now Jodie Foster's people can enjoy their weekend, knowing their client is special enough to Warner Bros. to finally have her name spelled correctly. · We recommend that you watch the first few minutes of this video from the set of Iron Man because it's painfully obvious how little Robert Downey, Jr, usually ready to launch into a stream-of-consciousness digression the moment someone produces a recording device in his presence, doesn't want to talk to the poor kid from MTV. Also of interest: Favs seems to have slimmed down quite a bit, and is in fine directing shape. · We recommend that you watch this video only if you're willing to wash your eyes in bleach at its conclusion. [via LA Rag Mag] · Judd Apatow isn't thrilled with this "Mayor of Comedy" business. Besides, he makes way more money than a mayor these days. · You know what never ceases to be a little weird, even though it's old news? The whole born-again Kirk Cameron deal.

As the pulverized Swarovski crystal sands runs through Paris Hilton's Hourglass of Freedom, members of her support network (consisting of various family members, sycophantic hangers-on, and exotic pets lacking the brain capacity to know any better) continue to bang the drum loudly on behalf of the persecuted heiress. Sister Nicky Hilton, while accompanying Paris to one of those glamorous Hollywood parties feting the introduction of a new text messaging device, was good enough to comment to People on the travesty of justice that is Paris's jail sentence:

"I think she should definitely be punished, but going to jail for a traffic violation is pretty absurd," Hilton, 23, told PEOPLE Thursday at the BlackBerry Curve launch party in Los Angeles, which she attended with Paris.

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Just in case you have somehow forgotten to circle June 5th on your calendars, we'll remind you that's the date by which imminently incarcerated hotel heiress Paris Hilton has to report to the Century Regional Detention Facility in Lynwood, which for the next 23 or so days will easily be the hottest, most exclusive prison in all of Los Angeles County.

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The Illinois Review blog (the "crossroads of the conservative community") posted a review of Shrek the Third that, despite acknowledging a positive, "pro-life" ending, still gave it a thumbs down. Their reasoning: They felt that the mannish character of Doris the Ugly Stepsister, voiced by CNN's trusted talk icon Larry King, is the byproduct of the Hollywood propaganda machine aimed at luring America's youth towards the evils of transgenderism:

Shrek's not the problem. It's the awkward inclusion of a transvestite and the uselessness of the character himself (herself?) in the story that is troubling. Right in the midst of a warm "traditional family" setting, the film writers place a man dressed as a woman in with Sleeping Beauty, Cinderella, Snow White (the good gals). The crossdressing character simply doesn't make sense, except as a ploy to desensitize children and parents to transgenders.

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After seeing two nights' worth of disastrous, Univision-test-pattern-quality ratings for Fox's much-hyped On the Lot yesterday morning, we called for the official CancellationWatch to begin. Our fears that Steven Spielberg might never discover the next cinematic visionary through the evaluation of one-minute comedy shorts about hilariously unlucky coins have become suddenly more acute, as the network has announced that it's downsizing the show into a single, hourlong competition-and-results mash-up each week for the rest of its scheduled run. Should that drastic measure not quickly improve the series' fortunes (and really, what could possibly go wrong?), look for Fox to repeat the ratings-fixing voodoo it attempted after Lot's underwhelming debut week, when it sacrificed original host Chelsea "Somewhat Recognizable to TV Audiences" Handler to the Nielsen gods and replaced her with the far bustier Adrianna "Who?" Costa; the blood offering of a second TelePrompTer-reading albatross might buy the network another episode or two before it has to tell Spielberg that it's ending his failed experiment to bring the noble, talent-nurturing spirit of Project Greenlight to the wasteland of summertime network television.

• FOX TRIMS 'ON THE LOT' TO ONE WEEKLY AIRING [The Futon Critic]

As there appears to be no sating the public's appetite for Z-list Celebrities Doing Stupid Shit That Might Actually Get Them Killed, the CMT network (we think one of those initials stands for "Country," but don't hold us to that) has graciously greenlit a reality series so irresistible, it might as well crawl right up into our DVR recorders and season-pass itself: Yes, everything we think you need to know about Ty Murray's Celebrity Bull Riding Challenge is right there in the title, and the fun appears to have already begun well before its August 10 premiere, as TMZ is reporting that lesser, born-again Baldwin Stephen has taken a bone-crushing spill off a bull:

Baldwin broke a shoulder and a rib when a bad ride sent him crashing to the rodeo floor. Baldwin was treated and released from a hospital, and we're told that "he is already back on set in a sling." No bull!

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Moments ago, walls were rattled, countless takes ruined, and nerves frayed by an unidentified flying something that just buzzed the sky about the Warner Bros. lot. Writes a spooked operative:

Any word on what the deal was with the B1(?) that flew too fucking low over the WB Backlot just now and sounded like the end of the world, setting off EVERY car alarm in the area? They usually let us neighbours know when they're going to simulate an act of war. I called the Burbank airport and they had no info but were being deluged with calls.

Know anything? Drop us a line; we're sure everyone will feel better once they discover the fly-by was just the Army taking Michael Bay for a spin in a plane he plans to blow up in his next project. UPDATE: An internal e-mail from Warner Bros. explains:

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· New NBC golden boy Ben Silverman is already hard at work, talking disgruntled Donald Trump down from a Trump Tower ledge by reopening talks about possibly bringing back The Apprentice. "I can see this guy is gonna be a star," says Trump, appreciating the business savvy of a player who might not be afraid to throw away untold millions to return his low-rated show to primetime. [Variety] · Dania "The One Who Drove AJ Soprano To Suicide" Ramirez will join Heroes as a series regular. (Hey, she's got mutant experience from X-Men 3.) While her "powers are being kept under wraps," producers are rumoured to still be deciding between superhuman Rollerblading skills and the ability to make the world's most delicious sandwiches. [THR] · The Canadian government quickly surrenders to visiting California governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, helpless against his onslaught of tired movie catchphrases meant to communicate the importance of introducing tougher anti-piracy legislation. [Variety] · Not that you might possibly care, but USA won the cable rights to Pirates 3, completing its acquisition of all three installments of the franchise. [THR] · Pirate Master (which we actually watched, God help us, confirming our suspicion that it's nothing more than Survivor with an eyepatch and a big boat) is off to a weak start for CBS. None of us are going to make it through the summer TV season alive, we can feel it already. [Variety]

Before Alec Baldwin's Mametian approach to child-rearing went public through a leaked voicemail left for his porcine, etiquette-challenged 11-year-old daughter, Tracy Morgan was the 30 Rock star garnering the most unwelcome headlines for the fledgling sitcom. A DUI arrest... Read More »

The battle for the entertainment industry's hearts, minds, and huge, filthy piles of cash raged on at the home of noted local political hacktivist Brett Ratner, who on Wednesday night generously hosted a campaign fundraiser for Democratic presidential hopeful... Read More »