Friday, June 1, 2007

Beth Ditto Gets Naked For NME

3:06PM Jess McGuire | Did you know Beth Ditto is actually the frontwoman of a rock band? Did you? We had no idea. We thought she was just some girl NW Magazine began trotting out a few months back whenever they decided to do a celebrity ‘curves’ themed issue, but we were very wrong and have chastised ourselves for not keeping our finger on the pulse of the music world. Anyway, the woman Keira Knightley once admitted had a body she only wished she could have been born with has posed naked for the cover of the latest copy of British music magazine NME, according to No Rock & Roll Fun. This week’s NME features Beth Ditto as naked as Avril Lavigne on the cover. For confused but well-intentioned reasons. Those of you with long memories will recall the last time a semi-naked woman was on the front of the NME, it was Lesley Rankine and Silverfish, who were in turn parodying the Polly Jean Harvey cover from a few weeks before. PJ and Beth Ditto were both on the cover as a riposte to traditional ideas of female beauty and societal nomrs – both had hairy armpits, for example. The trouble is, it’s all a bit muddled. Because NME, for all its other faults, doesn’t usually have FHM-style covers, so the value of putting Ditto on the front, without pants, is a little lost. Kate Jackson, it’s fairly safe to say, hasn’t been lined up to slip out of her corset for the next Long Blondes piece, because that would bring a stream of letters calling them for trying to flog magazines with sexist pictures. Likewise, the Twang don’t turn up with only a well-positioned tree to preserve their modesty. So, is NME they saying it’s okay for Beth to be on the front nude, because she isn’t ‘conventionally attractive’? And if that is the case, isn’t that simply endorsing the idea of there being ‘conventionally attractive’ in the first place? Or does the paper feel that a naked Beth Ditto is, from its reader’s point of view, every bit as desirable as, say, a naked Amy Winehouse? In which case, isn’t it a little bit Felix Dennis to be selling music magazines with female flesh? Certainly food for thought. More »

Teletubbies ‘Not Gay’, Just Extremely Creative And Sensitive Types With A Strong Love Of Fashion Accessories

1:48PM Jess McGuire | Good news for everyone out there worried that children’s television characters the Teletubbies were not, in fact, characters created for the nefarious purpose of indoctrinating infants with a love for all things bumming related. Poland has investigate the foursome and concluded that they’re totally gay free. Poland’s child rights ombudsman says she no longer suspects The Teletubbies, the British television show for infants, of promoting homosexuality. Ewa Sowinska, who had earlier announced her suspicions about the Teletubby named Tinky Winky, said that her fears had been allayed by an expert. “The opinion of a leading sexologist, who maintained that this series has no negative effects on a child’s psychology, is perfectly credible,” she said in a statement today. And so one of the biggest issues facing the modern world appears to have been resolved. Thank god. More »

“‘Queen of Pop’ Jailed For 12 Months”

1:10PM Jess McGuire | When we read the headline “‘Queen of Pop’ jailed for 12 months” on smh.com.au, our mind immediately began racing towards the irrational conclusion that Mexico must have some pretty strict laws when it comes to being the Other Woman, and Our Kylie had been sentenced to hard time for her involvement in the apparent break up of her ‘close friend’ Alexander Dahm and his pregnant wife, but it turns out we were totally wrong. They meant former Australian Queen Of Pop Allison Durbin has been jailed for drug trafficking, amongst other things. Durbin, now known by her married name Allison Giles, was handed a 24-month jail term today but half of the sentence was suspended. The reclusive former pop star, who shot to fame in the 1960s and 70s, had pleaded guilty in the Victorian County Court to trafficking a drug of dependence, cultivating a narcotic plant and theft of electricity. The court heard Giles, 57, had a hydroponic set-up at a house in West Footscray and supplied cannabis to drug dealer and father of snatched baby Montana, Giuseppe Dom Barbaro, in 2003 and 2004. In sentencing, Judge Ian Robertson said as a rehabilitated heroin addict Giles should have known the harm and misery caused by the “insidious trade” of drug trafficking. Drugs are one thing, but stealing electricity? Throw away the key! More »

Damien Leith Is A Daddy (Again)

1:10PM Jess McGuire | Congratulations to last year’s Australian Idol winner Damien Leith. Not only did he manage to prove Mark Holden wrong and win the talent quest despite his Big Book Of British Smiles dental situation, he also just became the father of a second baby boy. Celebrity Baby Blog reports… Damien Leith and his wife, Eileen, welcomed their second son together today (Wednesday the 30th, Australian time). They already have a son, Jarvis, 20 months. The baby was due around May 20th, so it looks like the little boy was a few weeks overdue. According to Damien’s father, he weighed 3.9kg and 50 cm in length. Photos and a name should follow in an Australian magazine in the coming weeks. More »

Short Ends: Hey, TB Guy!

12:22PM Defamer Hollywood | · Today’s pleasant surprise: TB Guy (already greenlighted to 2008 sitcom pilot by ABC, incidentally) has a hot wife! Also: Fuck you, TB Guy! says HuffPo blogger, rest of world’s humans. · This just in: shitty ratings are not good for network president job security. Mind-blowing, we know. · Another great reason (even better than $1300 pre-teen Mystic tans) to love our city: the bike-by shooting. · The Biel Spiel is unquestionably the best fake Jessica Biel blog out there. · Can someone whip up one of these deals for L.A. before the summer’s over? We could really use some exercise. More »

Jessica Alba To Seize Control Of Casting Couch From Horny White Male Oppressors

10:06AM Defamer Hollywood | At first, we thought that some editor at Parade (motto: “When the Cerritos Pennysaver’s celebrity coverage is too hard hitting, we’re there for you.”) was trying to slyly undermine the above pullquote (from this Sunday’s issue) about Jessica Alba’s ambitious plan to produce movies with empowering female roles by reminding everyone that her greatest critical accolade is the coveted “Sexiest Performance” Golden Tub of Popcorn. But then we realised that when the actress really gets her producing career rolling, those are exactly the parts she’ll develop for herself, proving to the white males who control Hollywood that she no longer needs them to cast her in the stripper roles that best show off her talents. Jessica Alba – Web Exclusive [Parade.com] More »