With Paris Hilton reportedly blaming Elliot Mintz in open court for her failure to understand the finer implications of a suspended license, it was unsurprising that the trusty PR manservant would be swiftly dispensed with. The flack's shitcanning instantly elicited a conundrum: Who issues the P.R. statements for disgraced P.R.-statement-issuers? (That would be Mintz himself, who holds no ill will towards Paris, her family, or anyone else associated with those backstabbing motherfuckers.) As for Paris herself - the wonky eye at the centre of this particular celebrity shitstorm - well, she feels it's just not fair:

"I told the truth," Hilton told photographers waiting outside her Los Angeles home on Saturday night.

 

"I feel that I was treated unfairly and that the sentence is both cruel and unwarranted. I don't deserve this."

Her 45-day sentence looming, set adrift without even a single dependable flack who'd gladly fall upon his pen for her, we imagine the next few weeks will be both challenging and critical for the embattled heiress and fragrance mogul, filled with emergency family meetings in which she chokes back tears explaining to her entourage of teacup-sized dogs, pellet-pooping farm animals, and tree-dwelling marsupials that, "Mummy's going away for a little while, but she'll be back real soon - you hear me? Real soon. And things will be hot again. I promise you that," as a symphony of concerned bleats, mews and simian yelps responds in dismay.

• Paris Hilton says jail term cruel, fires publicist [Reuters]

Tags: cops & courts | paris hilton | pr people