Help Choose American Idol’s First Utterly Forgettable Single!

As we approach the end of yet another memorable cycle of American Idol (fare thee well, dreamy-eyed Chris and dreamy-eared Phil!), the country braces for the most devastating rite in the communal search for our next exalted Karaoke Superstar: the singing of the Idol single, in which the two finalists are handed microphones, ordered at gunpoint into a death sphere set up on the stage of the Kodak Theatre, and are required to sing specially commissioned, unfathomably horrendous songs until someone’s head explodes into a cloud of skull and brain fragments. (In the case of a tie, the second runner-up is crowned.)

This season, however, a change has been implemented: You, dear struggling songwriter with an affinity for forgettable non-melodies and lyrics inspired by the copy in 99¢ store greeting cards, have been called upon to submit your own composition. One lucky entry shall be chosen to sit in the pantheon alongside past Idol singles – songs with pseudo-inspirational titles like “Inside Your Heaven,” “Flying Without Wings,” and “Do I Make You Proud.” And you, internet-enabled fans, are asked to review and rate the 20 deemed best out of the thousands of submissions. Our suggestion? Tossing the bunch in favor of the song that really needs to be written: “I’d Go Home For You” inspired by Chris Richardson’s bromantic pledge to best friend and occasional laptop snugglebunny Blake Lewis.

• [songwriter.americanidol.com]