Eddie McGuire Denies Being Boned, Insists He Boned Himself.

Oh yes, it’s time to rehash that marvellous mental picture we thought we’d finally repressed once and for all. You see, Eddie McGuire has resigned - or was fired, or something - from his position as CEO of the Nine Network this morning.

According to The Age…

The boner has become the boned.

Eddie McGuire will step down as chief executive of the Nine network, to spend more time on air, the network announced in a statement today.

Mr McGuire, who was appointed boss of Nine in February last year, will move to his new role on June 30, statement said.

The statement said Mr McGuire would enjoy “an increased presence on air” and would focus on “the provision of creative and programming services.”

“Moving to a new role” sounds nice, doesn’t it? Nothing like a boning!

Eddie McGuire denies he was “boned” by the Nine Network, saying he was not “given the flick” as the network’s chief executive.

“Quite the opposite,” McGuire told reporters at a press conference in Melbourne this morning.

“I had the opportunity to stay as CEO but chose to go down a different path.

“I wasn’t given the flick, if that’s what you’re asking.”

Well, that clears that up.

And the best - and by that, we mean “Oh god, make it stop! Get this image out of my head!” - bone-related quote came straight from Uncle Eddie himself.

Of the question of whether he boned himself, McGuire said: “I win the sweep. I said it would come in the first five minutes.”

(snickers childishly)

(shudders)