Recent Big Brother evictee Nick has revealed to journalists he thinks Gretel Killeen wasn't as nice to him as she could have been when he emerged from the house on Sunday night. Is it possible she is regretting her involvement with the show, what with plummeting ratings and constant controversy? Erm, yes.

He came out of the frying pan into the fire when he was kicked out of the Big Brother house, and latest evictee Nick didn't seem too happy about it when he spoke to Confidential yesterday.

After a less than idyllic stay in the Gold Coast compound, Nick said he was was surprised by host Gretel Killeen's "passive aggressive" attitude towards him when she grilled him on Sunday night's eviction show.

"I probably expected her to be a little friendlier than she was," a miffed Nick said.

Firstly, Nick - you prefer cock. That automatically cuts out the onstage flirting Gretel likes to indulge in when she has a young male sitting on the couch with her.

Secondly- dudes, seriously. If there is a Big Brother next year, we've no doubt Ms Killeen'll have her lawyers going over her contract with Endemol Southern Star looking for an escape clause.

THIS IS WHAT HAPPENS WHEN YOU PICK VACUOUS IDIOTS AS CONTESTANTS, BIG BROTHER PRODUCERS!

We've got more thoughts about what's going wrong for the show this year, but in a nutshell - see shouty sentence above.

Well, we can't back up that completely idiotic statement, but we can inform you of a Swedish born lass who regularly appears in Sydney's social pages and her recent arrest for conspiracy to murder.

Reports AAP -

A Swedish-born Sydney socialite has been remanded in custody after being charged with conspiring to murder two Crown witnesses.

Charlotte Karin Maria Lindstrom, 22, was among five people arrested in police raids in NSW and Victoria over the weekend.

Detectives from Victoria's anti-gangland Purana taskforce swooped on several addresses across Melbourne on June 26 and 27 and netted weapons and ammunition along with a haul of counterfeit cash and other documents, police said.

Lindstrom was arrested in Sydney at 10.40am (AEST) on Saturday.

Police alleged in Sydney's Central Local Court today that she was a "principal" in the organisation of the planned murders.

Lindstrom, who lives in inner-Sydney Pyrmont, has been charged with two counts of conspiring to murder two men in Sydney and two counts of soliciting to murder the same men.

Originally from Stockholm, Lindstrom has been working in Australia for two years and is in the process of applying for permanent residency.

The blonde is a regular at high-profile social events and has also appeared in the social pages of Sydney's newspapers.

We are shaken to the core by the idea that anyone Ros Reines & Co would choose to promote could be capable of anything bad. Say it ain't so!

Advertising guru Jack Singleton has come up with a hilarious way to draw further attention to Bondi Beer now that Paris Hilton, who visited Australia not all that long ago to promote the brand, is heading to the clink.

He's placed ads in the States requesting Paris serve out her sentence Down Under! What a card!

After generating $3 million worth of coverage for beer Bondi Blonde when the heiress visited Sydney, the sassy adman is continuing to cash in on Hilton's association with the brand by using her prison term for a publicity stunt.

In what he terms a "community service announcement", Singleton's agency Jack Watts Currie has forked out close to $1 million to place ads in US papers and trade magazines asking authorities to send the socialite to Australia instead of jail.

Hilton has to report to Los Angeles' Century Regional Detention Center by June 5 to start serving her 23-day sentence for violating her probation following her 2006 drink-driving arrest.

But Singleton has come up with an alternative in the cheeky marketing ploy, asking authorities: "Please send Paris Hilton to the world's biggest convict colony: Australia."

The ad continues: "Paris has already served time Down Under. We'd be happy (especially the blokes) to have her back and we already have a special place put aside for Ms Hilton to serve out her sentence. It's called Bondi Beach."

ONE MILLION DOLLARS FOR BONDI BEER RELATED ADVERTISING IN THE UNITED STATES? Gracious, that ought to really get the stock flying off the North American shelves!

Oh. Wait.

As the beer is not available for sale in the US, Singleton dismissed the campaign as being "just a bit of fun" when contacted by Confidential.

"Paris was great to us when she was here so we want to let her know we're thinking of her," he said.

Fucking idiot. Genius!

For today's YouTube video of choice, we've gone with the highly enjoyable video clip for Nikki Webster's Strawberry Kisses.

Also - isn't a "strawberry kiss" when you go down on someone when they've got the painters in?

Normally when we write a post title like the above, it is heavily infused with sarcasm. But no! Shockingly, today we actually mean it as Mr Marx thoroughly tickled our funnybone with his recent blog entry about "desperate ideas for Aussie TV drama".

Here are just a couple of highlights!

Buckley's Chance
The many adventures of Trevor Buckley, a croupier at a high-rolling city casino.

Lock, Stock & Barrel
The daily lives, loves and litigations inside the most fortuitous law partnership of Peter Lock, Jonathon Stock and David Barrel.

Beat Around the Bush
Tales from the life of a busy uniformed policeman in a rural jurisdiction.

Ball's in Your Court
The life and times of rotund prosecutor, Jeffery Ball QC.

Every Rose Has Its Thorn
Three girlfriends, all coincidentally named Rose, who just happen to be married to one Thorn brother each.

Hell or High Water
Climate change researcher Benjamin Hell insists his small community is heading for catastrophe, but will they heed his warnings?

Easy Pickings
You don't have to try to hard to score with Sharon Pickings, girl about town.

Defamer Australia played a similar game with friends once, coming up with the following television ideas. We're thoroughly baffled by the fact none of these were "picked up" by the networks (as they say in the business), but there's still time. We will accept nothing less than a six pack of Red Bull and a packet of Winfield cigarettes for the rights to the following ideas.

The Blossom Girls
Blossom Russo (Mayim Bialik) - left orphaned and alone after a tragic accident where her shelf of hats collapsed, instantly crushing her entire family (and best friend Six!) - moves with her Aunt Blanche (and Blanche's friends - Dorothy, Sophia and Rose) to a quiet little town called Petticoat Junction, where the elderly yet feisty ladies now own and run the Shady Rest hotel.

Chuckle as Blossom ends up on the receiving end of an Alzheimers-suffering, bed-wetting Sophia's witty (and yet often confusing) barbs! Be moved by Dorothy and Rose's burgeoning romance, which proves that age is no barrier to love (even that of the grey muff-diving kind).Watch the sparks fly as Blanche has a torrid affair with store owner Sam (and the rest of the male population of Hooterville!).

And don't miss Joey Laurence's cameo as the ghost of Blossom's recently departed (and mildly retarded) brother Joey!

Hey Hey It's Sunday
Jana Wendt and Daryll Somers co-host Australia's newest cutting edge current affairs show. Hard hitting interviews are followed by hilarious light entertainment in this original idea from Channel Nine.

Family Strokes
When both the Drummond family AND the Keaton's are forced to move to Tasmania as part of a witness protection programme, things get unexpectedly heated both between and in the families. A shocking new drama from Channel Seven.

We'll get our coats.

Swings and round-abouts, friends. Swings and round-abouts.

One minute Kylie's getting good press (look at the pretty lil' thing singing with Sharon Stone! YAY!), the next, she's back to being a homewrecking harlot in the eyes of the media. We can't keep up!

The latest?

Well, the good news is that, according to Popjustice, Kylie's new musical "works" are amazing. Says Le Justice de Pop -

We don't really approve of leaked tracks flying around the web before an album's even been completed but in the case of Kylie Minogue the constant, relentless barrage of leaked material almost makes it seem as if Someone Up There want us to hear it all.

After 'Excuse My French' and 'When The Cat's Away' a few weeks ago we now have 'Lose Control', 'In My Arms', 'Stars', 'Sensitized', 'Fall For You' and 'I'm Sorry' knocking around the web. Add to that 'Loving You' from a year or two ago and you have one of the albums of the year. As we mentioned the other week these tracks - and these are only the ones which have leaked so far - could probably launch a brand new pop act. They could also probably sit around gathering dust.

When we wondered out loud a couple of years ago - in relation to 'Made Of Glass' and 'Loving You' both mysteriously appearing online - whether leaking the tracks was a deliberate spoiler tactic from someone in Kylie's camp, stamping Kylie's name on songs she wouldn't even use, ensuring other artists didn't use these great songs for fear of being accused of using 'soiled goods', Parlophone said it certainly wasn't happening in their building. But as with previous Kylie leaks over the last few years, the tracks are from different sessions with different producers and different songwriters, meaning - presumably - that whoever is leaking the songs must be doing so from a privileged position within Kylie HQ.

Anyway, a couple of the songs are fucking - and by fucking, we mean FUCKING - brilliant. 'In My Arms' is probably pick of the bunch.

Wahey!

On the flipside, the tabloids are back to accusing her of doing a Britney and stealing a pregnant woman's man now that news has emerged Kylie's "friend" Alexander Dahm has allegedly been booted from the family home by a very upset and heavily knocked up missus.

Uh-oh.

Oh dear. Seems Lily's feeling much better than she was a couple of weeks ago during "Cherylgate" (her term, not ours). So much so that she's decided to reveal some rather saucy things about her time in high school to Rolling Stone.

Lily Allen was kicked out of school as a teenager when teachers caught her performing fellatio on her classmates.

The bawdy Brit hasn't been shy when it comes to talking about her troublesome schooldays, but in a new Rolling Stone interview she has revealed just how far she went.

She tells the magazine, "I was doing things with boys that I shouldn't have been doing at such a young age... I was doing blow-jobs... I don't want to go into it. It was not good."

But she insists that although the sexual servicing upset teachers at her school, her parents weren't bothered when the authorities alerted them to Allen's scandalous behaviour.

She adds, "They didn't care... They're products of the 60s, they're bang up for a bit of that."

THOUGHTS RE: THE ABOVE

· Note the use of a plural. Lily gave head to classmates. More than one. So we're not talking some sort of adorable albeit lick-happy Kevin Arnold/Winnie Cooper high school sweet heart situation. Lily just liked giving gobbies to her male mates. Not that there's anything wrong with that, etc.

· Her parents are "bang up for a bit of that". Is she saying that dad Keith is right into sucking off high school lads?