Saturday, May 26, 2007

Rosie’s Joke-Writing Henchwoman Defaces Elisabeth Hasselbeck’s Photo

10:21AM Defamer Hollywood | It brings us no pleasure to inform you that the feud between noted 9/11 conspiracy theorist Rosie O’Donnell and squeaky-voiced hawk Elisabeth Hasselbeck seems to be showing few signs of waning. (Let’s take a moment to remember happier, BFF times, when the two threw back some beers and wine before hitting the opening night of Les Misérables on Broadway.) Reports Page Six: Yesterday, Rosie’s chief writer, Janette Barber, was allegedly escorted from the building after she was caught drawing moustaches on photographs of Hasselbeck that hang in the “View” studios. More »

Trade Roundup: Fox Hoping To Simulate Quality Entertainment

9:55AM Defamer Hollywood | · Sandra Bullock will star in The Proposal, a romcom about a “demanding female boss” who winds up in a sham marriage to her “young male assistant” in order to avoid deportation to Canada. Hopefully this won’t put any bright ideas into the heads of nebbish agents who hired their call-rollers based on their fuckability alone. [Variety] · Fox has bought the rights to The SIMS videogame series, which they feel has great potential for “traditional story telling,” something the simulated gay cowboy love story Brokeback SIMS Mountain has already poignantly proven. · Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End is on a course for a box office bounty as bloated and incomprensible as the movie itself. [Variety] · Despite having taken out a full-page ad trumpeting Nicolas Cage would play young(er) Al Capone in The Untouchables‘ prequel, “scheduling conflicts” won’t allow the actor to participate. Producers can take great comfort in knowing that not only have they dodged a massive bullet, but that white-hot breakout Spartan Gerard Butler is on board, taking over for Sean Connery in the role of Jimmy “That’s the Chicago Way” Malone. [Variety] · TV Networks scan the 2006-2007 ratings data, then promptly crap their pants. [THR] More »

Short Ends: Rosie Abandons Her Post, Never To Be Heard From Again

6:29AM Defamer Hollywood | · Rosie and her Sharpie-wielding heavies pack it in early. You all hurt her feelings! You should be ashamed of yourselves! · In honour of Pirates‘ opening, Fandango imagines some other blockbusters based on Disney rides. We don’t really have the heart to tell them that Jungle Cruise is already happening, or that Vinnie Chase is likely going to be the one to star in Matterhorn, after he refuses to bang Prince Yair’s wife to get Medellin made. · New York’s Saks Fifth Ave. shoe department has just been granted its own zip code (yes, you read that correctly). We can’t let those East Coast philistines outdo us: Let’s make Barney’s accessories department its own sovereign nation state! · Blogging.la is having a “worst job in Los Angeles” contest. Scott Rudin’s first assistant? Brett Ratner’s Toejam Removal Coordinator? Are you guys even paying attention? · Remember that whole chained-to-the-stairs, swinging-firepokers and fired-shots insanity at the O’Neal’s place? Ryan’s off the hook. More »