Friday, May 25, 2007

Oh Great! Pauline Hanson Has Launched Another Political Party!

1:49PM Jess McGuire | There’s nothing we like better than a party, any kind of party, so we’re totally fucking STOKED to hear that Pauline Hanson is getting her arse into gear and organising a new political “knees up”! Says The Age… Former One Nation party founder Pauline Hanson has put her name to a new party which she hopes will help her win a Senate spot at the next election. More than a decade after she first entered Federal Parliament, Ms Hanson has launched a new political party – Pauline’s United Australia Party. United Australia? Who could be upset with the idea of a United Australia!? “The big parties cannot be trusted,” she said in a statement today. “Labor’s union thugs will bash up small business and the farmers, and we will all suffer. “Mr Howard has sold us out by not halting further Muslim immigration and dumping hapless refugees from Africa on us without any consultation. Australia must withdraw ASAP from the 1951 UN Convention on refugees.” Oh. You mean that sort of ‘United’, Pauline. Can’t you busy yourself with more jail time, or at least continuing your tango education? More »

Lara Bingle’s Amazing Media Career Possibly Over

12:02PM Jess McGuire | We were flabbergasted this morning to discover that the magical world of Lara Bingle (she of Brendan Fevola-loving/”Where the bloody hell are you?” fame) isn’t as rosy as it once was. Reports the Daily Telegraph… The axe has temporarily fallen on Lara Bingle’s career, with both Channel 9 and her long-term manager ending their association with the bikini model. Priscilla Leighton-Clarke, the woman responsible for overseeing Bingle’s career transformation from a fresh-faced schoolgirl to a nationally recognised pin-up, confirmed yesterday the end of their working relationship. “I don’t represent Lara anymore – I’ve done all I could do,” Leighton-Clarke told Confidential. Bingle’s rise to fame was meteoric following the “Where the Bloody Hell Are You” campaign for Tourism Australia, but it was equally fraught with disaster. Following 12 months of embarrassing car bungles, text message blunders and legal battles with men’s magazines, Bingle became the centre of an even bigger PR nightmare when the wife of AFL star Brendan Fevola accused her of having an affair with her husband. While Leighton-Clarke refused to discuss details surrounding her former client, it is understood the scandal was behind the breakdown of their working relationship. But wait, that’s not all! Also waving goodbye to Lara are the folk at Channel Nine. In further news of Bingle’s professional overhaul, Channel 9 has also confirmed it would not be renewing the one-year contract they signed with the model following her Dancing on Ice performance last July. Gracious. We can’t help but wonder when it all went wrong for Lara. MAYBE FROM THE MOMENT OF CONCEPTION WHEN THE GODS DECIDED SHE WOULD BE BEAUTIFUL, BUT CURSED WITH THE CHARISMA OF A BLOCK OF WOOD. “We resent the way you have insulted our people!” And fair enough too. Defamer Australia apologises unreservedly to charismatic blocks of wood around the country. More »

Deflowering Katee Holmes II: Deeper Inside The Virgin

11:30AM Defamer Hollywood | We knew that we could count on our glory-hole-probing sister site Fleshbot to update us on the much-buzzed-about career of porn up-and-comer Katee Holmes, whose noble plan to honor her famous namesake by offering up her virtue on camera was announced in Page Six earlier this week. More »

Isaiah Washington Brings Messages Of Gay-Loving Peace

11:24AM Defamer Hollywood | Potty-mouthed actor Isaiah Washington currently awaits a call from his agent that will determine whether or not he will continue to show up to the Grey’s Anatomy set every day, carrying a warm smile and a box of Sprinkles cupcakes for his co-workers. (It’s a small, peacemaking gesture, meant to say, “How could I possibly hate Gays when I come bearing cupcakes – the gayest dessert there is!”) In the meantime, you can enjoy what might be your last rendezvous with Dr. Preston Burke as a series regular tonight on the Grey’s finale, during which the actor’s GLAAD-mandated public service announcement will run. GLAAD’s website offers a preview of the spot, which contains in its call for a choke-free, homoinclusive society the following quote: “When you use words that demean a person because of their sexual orientation, race or gender, you send a message of hate.” The spot is truly a master class in “sincerity for the camera”, and perhaps the actor’s most stirring statement on the matter since a moment of publicist-unassisted damage control inspired him to announce, “I love gay. I wanted to be gay. Please let me be gay!” ABC to Debut Isaiah Washington PSA Today [glaad.org] More »

Anna Nicole Smith’s Half-Sister Almost Ready For Her Centerfold Moment

9:59AM Defamer Hollywood | Beyond baby Dannielynn, we have precious few direct blood ties to America’s departed diet pill spokeswoman, Anna Nicole Smith. Luckily, her busty, downwardly spiraling legacy lives on in Donna Hogan, who’s mulling some pneumatic personal improvements in anticipation of Playboy’s very special Less Attractive Half-Sisters of Former Playmates Issue. From Page Six: “A few years ago, Playboy approached me and I almost agreed to do it. But I was too chicken. My boobs weren’t big enough,” Hogan tells Steppin’ Out’s Chaunce Hayden. “But now, if Playboy called, I would probably do it. I just had a birthday and I’m going to treat myself to new boobs. I just want to get my body to where I want it and I’ll be ready to step in and do it … You’ll definitely see a transformation in the next year.” [...] More »

Tabloid Ordered To Pay Keira Knightley $7k For Observing Her Dangerously Low Weight

9:47AM Defamer Hollywood | With Pirates of the Caribbean: At World’s End just hours away from swallowing America’s multiplexes like a tentacled leviathan, star Keira Knightley has emerged victorious in a legal battle against British tabloid The Daily Mail for having suggested her bony frame was providing unnecessary thinspiration for fanorexic teens. Reuters reports: British actress Keira Knightley, star of the “Pirates of the Caribbean” film trilogy, won £3,000 ($A7280) in libel damages on Thursday over a newspaper slur that she was excessively thin. [...] The Daily Mail had run a story with a picture of her in a bikini, headlined: “If Pictures Like This One of Keira Carried a Health Warning, My Darling Daughter Might Have Lived”. More »

Joel Silver Ready To Resurrect He-Man

9:38AM Defamer Hollywood | It’s been 20 years since Hollywood pooped out Dolph Lungren vehicle Masters of the Universe, the big-screen version of the moderately beloved (let’s be honest here: it was no Thundercats) 1980s after-school toy infomercial, so in keeping with the industry’s loosely observed Two Decade Rule for the re-adaptation of previously exploited material, superproducer Joel Silver and Warner Bros. now feel enough time has passed to do another He-Man movie. The early plans already sound as if the creative team isn’t going to sidestep the Gay He-Man Question, as recent queer-cinema blockbuster 300 is cited as an inspiration for their vision; once the deal is finalised and the script finished, production should begin on a cavernous Warner Bros. soundstage, where the prodigiously muscled, well-oiled actors playing He-Man, Ram-Man, and Fisto will gather in front of a green screen to battle the six-packed legions of darkness led by a liberally pierced Skeletor and equally terrifying, orally fixated henchman Trap-Jaw. He-Man returns to big screen [Variety] More »