Thursday, May 24, 2007
Yet Another Celebrity Sex Video Scandal… Yawn
7:46PM Jess McGuire | Grainy footage of famous people getting down and dirty can often be highly insightful. Pamela Anderson’s choice of assorted x-rated costars revealed by god, can that woman’s nether region cope with giant cock she would do anything for love (including that).
Paris Hilton’s infamous video surprised us with the disconcerting realisation that she managed to combine being childlike, weirdly nonsexual, vain and needy all while smoking pole and preening for the camera.
As for the “alleged” sex tapes of other “alleged” stars we’ve “allegedly” seen (Mimi, Kate and others…), well – we managed to form strange new understandings as to the personalities of these entertainment types. Which we hope makes us sound both sleazy AND knowledgeable!
The latest personality to be dealing with a sex tape drama? Erm… former Test cricketer Craig McDermott.
A man accused of using a sex tape to extort more than $50,000 from former Australian Test cricketer Craig McDermott has been committed to stand trial.
Boat detailer Peter Josef Vigan, 36, of Oxenford, appeared in Southport Magistrates Court today charged with one count of demanding money with the threat of a detriment.
Vigan originally faced eight separate charges but following negotiations between his lawyer Bill Potts and the prosecution it was reduced to one charge covering four allegations.
Vigan, who is on bail, has yet to enter a plea on the charge and will face the Southport District Court at a date to be fixed.
Police allege Mr McDermott, a former fast bowler turned millionaire Gold Coast property developer, was forced to hand over more than $50,000 to stop home movies of him having sex with his wife Ann-Maree being released on the internet.
Cricketer has sex with wife? It’s not quite Warney-and-a-blow-up-doll now, is it?
We have heard rumours of a former Dancing With The Stars winner appearing in a racy video when they were very, very young, but as we haven’t witnessed this cinematic masterpiece for ourselves, we’re loathe to go into details lest we get New Idea & co into an unnecessary tizzy.
More » 
Oprah ‘Out Of Hand’, ‘Unruly’ And Liked To ‘Make Herself Known To Boys’ According To Her Big-Mouthed Dad
7:46PM Jess McGuire | Relations between Oprah Winfrey and her father Vernon are probably not on the up and up, with Vernon shopping around a new tell-all book about his daughter. Needless to say, the contents are not flattering.
The memoir gossips about Oprah as a child, when she was living in Milwaukee with her mother and visiting her estranged father in Nashville, Tenn.
“Our daughter was out of hand, an unruly child,” Vernon quotes Oprah’s mother, Vernita, as saying, “She said she stayed out all times of the night and lied regarding her whereabouts, said she made herself known to boys,” he writes.
That interesting euphemism is just the beginning.
“She had secrets,” writes Oprah’s father. “Dark secrets,” he continues. “Some I didn’t discover till she was a grown woman, till it was too late.”
We’re guessing this spells out the end of Oprah’s gal pal (and we mean that in a “besties forevs!” sense, because obviously we do not buy into the rumours of lesbiotic activities, dear solicitors) Gayle King paying visits to Vernon’s barber shop during segments for Oprah’s ridiculously popular talk show.
More » Hard Times Ahead For Your New Favourite Band
7:46PM Jess McGuire | Due to a “controversial new didgeridoo law” (we can’t believe this is the first time we’ve heard of this), there’s a chance that a popular Broome band might be adversely affected.
The members of “Groovy Lips & The Yang” fear they could be put out of business if the apparent new ruling is enforced.
A group of the Yawuru people says the instrument should only be played if it is part of a traditional performance.
Their stance prompted the cancellation of a concert featuring leading didgeridoo player William Barton in Broome this week.
Happily, the situation may improve.
Paul Boon from Groovy Lips hopes his band can negotiate a way forward.
“For us, they’re going to deal with an indigenous person and a non-indigenous person so our argument is going to have a foot on each side of the fence which is I think an important process of reconciliation.” he said.
“It’s an on-going process that we hopefully will have a good resolution with.”
Good-o. We’re always cheery when we hear of ordinary folk embracing the concept of reconciliation and cultural sensitivity.
Also, “Groovy Lips & The Yang” is the best band name in the world. If you can think of any better, do let us know. We’re always keen to grow and learn. More » Paul Keating Suggests Sydney Should Be The Nation’s Capital
7:46PM Jess McGuire | Is it just us, or has Paul Keating really been reveling the limelight lately? Not that it’s a bad thing, it’s just it seems that everywhere we turn he’s piping up with some opinion or another.
The latest topic of choice? He feels that Sydney would be a better choice of capital city for Australia, brutally hurting all Canberrians (Canberrites? Canberries? Please help.) in the process.
During his speech on the future of Sydney Harbour last night, Mr Keating said Prime Minister John Howard had effectively moved his government to Sydney, and that Canberra had an air of unreality.
“Transport, communications, housing – all these real things are camoulaged in Canberra,” he said.
“And the Government operates now out of a little office building in Phillip Street, Sydney. That’s where Cabinet meets, except when Parliament’s sitting. So what we’ve got is when Parliament’s sitting, everyone flies off to the bush capital and they all live in their motel rooms, and then they all fly out again on Friday morning.”
Hang on, that’s not quite a declaration from the former PM that Canberra’s a dull quagmire and Sydney’s where it’s at, more a statement that John Howard has chosen to do most of his work (unless he can help it) from out of the Emerald City.
Unsurprisingly, New South Wales Premier Morris “Yeah, Mate!” Iemma is quick to point out exactly how fucking awesome Sydney is.
“Sydney is the capital of Australia in the sense it’s Australia’s only global city and it’s the best city in the country,” Mr Iemma told reporters in Newcastle, where he presided over a regional cabinet meeting.
Should Melbourne get in a huff right about now and begin slagging off Sydney? Will south-east Queensland pipe up “Check out our beaches! And Jupiter’s Casino!” Can we expect Perth to throw its hat in the ring? A battle of the state capitals, oh that will be pleasant.
(tunes out)
More » Cue The Benny Hill Theme…
5:46PM Jess McGuire | … because we just noticed the headline chosen by the Herald Sun for the article we linked to in the earlier Fifi Box/Mick Molloy story
Brekkie girl misses Molloy’s load
Ha!
They should have just been completely shameless and gone with -
Box misses Molloy’s load
In for a penny, etc… More » 
Box Won’t Be Seen On Molloy’s New Show
5:36PM Jess McGuire | Despite earlier speculation that Fifi Box would be appearing on Mick Molloy’s new panel show, it would appear her bosses over at Austereo aren’t quite prepared to let her off the leash again.
The cast for Mick Molloy’s dip back in TV land, The Nation, has been chosen, and it doesn’t include Melbourne’s Fifi Box.
While her Sydney breakfast radio rival Jackie O made the grade, Melbourne-born funnygirl Fifi Box will not appear on the Channel 9 show despite starring in its pilot last month.
The door has been left open for Box, but whispers are that her employer, Austereo, banned her from the gig because her ratings had fallen while she juggled her on-air commitments and commuting to Melbourne for Dancing with the Stars.
It is sort of a shame because, despite our earlier playful jabs at Fifi Box, we do find her extremely affable – we just question exactly what she’d bring to a panel show focusing on news and current affairs. In any case, it looks as though Fifi Box’s position on the panel will be ably filled by… we’re sorry, Jackie O? JACKIE O? You can’t get Fifi Box for your show so you aim for Jackie O?
Others to share their humorous take on current affairs, sport and entertainment with Molloy include sportscaster Tiffany Cherry, Quizmania babe Nikki Osbourne and comedian Akmal Saleh.
“I won’t be doing all the heavy lifting this time round — I’m too old for that,” Molloy said. “I’ve recruited some great talent to help carry the load.”
Which brings us once again back to muttering over and over with disbelief… Jackie O? Are you taking the piss, sir? Is this just one of many great examples of mischievous japery we can expect from the minds behind The Nation? Will she be the butt of all jokes?
That’s gotta be it. There’s no other explanation.
More » 
Emma’s Father Has Died.
11:01AM Jess McGuire | The Age reports this morning that Big Brother’s blonde ice-queen Emma, who mentioned during the opening night that she’d been estranged from her father for many years and that he was quite ill, is unaware that since she’s been in the Dreamworld house her father has passed away.
The father of Big Brother housemate Emma has been buried, but she has yet to be told he’s died.
Raymond Cornell, 53, died of cancer in Adelaide, and his funeral was held on Monday.
Emma’s boyfriend Tim Stanton has told News Limited that Mr Cornell had asked that his daughter not be told of his death until she left the house.
“Her dad didn’t want her to be upset or to feel like she had to leave the house to come to his funeral,” Mr Stanton said.
“He didn’t want to ruin the experience for her. She might be upset when she comes out and finds out what has happened, but I think she’ll understand.”
In the grand scheme of life, it does seem more important that Emma soldier on in the Big Brother house rather than be given the option to try and make amends with her father right before he shuffles his mortal coil.
For fuck’s sake. At what point did reality television shows take priority over real life situations? More » 
Short Ends: Cannes Shocker: George Clooney Sold Into White Slavery
10:59AM Defamer Hollywood | · We thought that bachelor auctions only existed on bad TV shows, but we suppose we were wrong about that. · In other Clooney news, he and his Ocean’s 13 pals had some fun joshing the media about an eye-lift he may or may not have had. · Harvey Weinstein vs. Luc Besson: It is so on. · Joss Whedon is not a Captivity fan, to say the least. · Another day, another O’Donnell/Hasselbeck slapfight. More »
Finally: Photographic Evidence That Famous People Sleep
10:58AM Defamer Hollywood | Our pal at Towleroad has landed this ultra-rare, exclusive image of dreamy-eyed Hollywood hunkboat [audible sigh] Jake Gyllenhaal, fresh off the Cannes premiere of Zodiac, catching a well-deserved nap on the Eurostar train between Paris and London. We really have nothing more to say, other than: Awww…famous people occasionally sleep, just like Us! (But look decidedly more adorable when they do it. Look at him! He’s probably dreaming of cute sheep vaulting a perfect little fence.) After the jump, a cameraphone photo one of our spies submitted long ago, but which we were saving for the perfect occasion. That moment has finally arrived: More »
