Grainy footage of famous people getting down and dirty can often be highly insightful. Pamela Anderson's choice of assorted x-rated costars revealed by god, can that woman's nether region cope with giant cock she would do anything for love (including that).

Paris Hilton's infamous video surprised us with the disconcerting realisation that she managed to combine being childlike, weirdly nonsexual, vain and needy all while smoking pole and preening for the camera.

As for the "alleged" sex tapes of other "alleged" stars we've "allegedly" seen (Mimi, Kate and others...), well - we managed to form strange new understandings as to the personalities of these entertainment types. Which we hope makes us sound both sleazy AND knowledgeable!

The latest personality to be dealing with a sex tape drama? Erm... former Test cricketer Craig McDermott.

A man accused of using a sex tape to extort more than $50,000 from former Australian Test cricketer Craig McDermott has been committed to stand trial.

Boat detailer Peter Josef Vigan, 36, of Oxenford, appeared in Southport Magistrates Court today charged with one count of demanding money with the threat of a detriment.

Vigan originally faced eight separate charges but following negotiations between his lawyer Bill Potts and the prosecution it was reduced to one charge covering four allegations.

Vigan, who is on bail, has yet to enter a plea on the charge and will face the Southport District Court at a date to be fixed.

Police allege Mr McDermott, a former fast bowler turned millionaire Gold Coast property developer, was forced to hand over more than $50,000 to stop home movies of him having sex with his wife Ann-Maree being released on the internet.

Cricketer has sex with wife? It's not quite Warney-and-a-blow-up-doll now, is it?

We have heard rumours of a former Dancing With The Stars winner appearing in a racy video when they were very, very young, but as we haven't witnessed this cinematic masterpiece for ourselves, we're loathe to go into details lest we get New Idea & co into an unnecessary tizzy.

Relations between Oprah Winfrey and her father Vernon are probably not on the up and up, with Vernon shopping around a new tell-all book about his daughter. Needless to say, the contents are not flattering.

The memoir gossips about Oprah as a child, when she was living in Milwaukee with her mother and visiting her estranged father in Nashville, Tenn.

"Our daughter was out of hand, an unruly child," Vernon quotes Oprah's mother, Vernita, as saying, "She said she stayed out all times of the night and lied regarding her whereabouts, said she made herself known to boys," he writes.

That interesting euphemism is just the beginning.

"She had secrets," writes Oprah's father. "Dark secrets," he continues. "Some I didn't discover till she was a grown woman, till it was too late."

We're guessing this spells out the end of Oprah's gal pal (and we mean that in a "besties forevs!" sense, because obviously we do not buy into the rumours of lesbiotic activities, dear solicitors) Gayle King paying visits to Vernon's barber shop during segments for Oprah's ridiculously popular talk show.

Due to a "controversial new didgeridoo law" (we can't believe this is the first time we've heard of this), there's a chance that a popular Broome band might be adversely affected.

The members of "Groovy Lips & The Yang" fear they could be put out of business if the apparent new ruling is enforced.

A group of the Yawuru people says the instrument should only be played if it is part of a traditional performance.

Their stance prompted the cancellation of a concert featuring leading didgeridoo player William Barton in Broome this week.

Happily, the situation may improve.

Paul Boon from Groovy Lips hopes his band can negotiate a way forward.

"For us, they're going to deal with an indigenous person and a non-indigenous person so our argument is going to have a foot on each side of the fence which is I think an important process of reconciliation." he said.

"It's an on-going process that we hopefully will have a good resolution with."

Good-o. We're always cheery when we hear of ordinary folk embracing the concept of reconciliation and cultural sensitivity.

Also, "Groovy Lips & The Yang" is the best band name in the world. If you can think of any better, do let us know. We're always keen to grow and learn.

Is it just us, or has Paul Keating really been reveling the limelight lately? Not that it's a bad thing, it's just it seems that everywhere we turn he's piping up with some opinion or another.

The latest topic of choice? He feels that Sydney would be a better choice of capital city for Australia, brutally hurting all Canberrians (Canberrites? Canberries? Please help.) in the process.

During his speech on the future of Sydney Harbour last night, Mr Keating said Prime Minister John Howard had effectively moved his government to Sydney, and that Canberra had an air of unreality.

"Transport, communications, housing - all these real things are camoulaged in Canberra," he said.

"And the Government operates now out of a little office building in Phillip Street, Sydney. That's where Cabinet meets, except when Parliament's sitting. So what we've got is when Parliament's sitting, everyone flies off to the bush capital and they all live in their motel rooms, and then they all fly out again on Friday morning."

Hang on, that's not quite a declaration from the former PM that Canberra's a dull quagmire and Sydney's where it's at, more a statement that John Howard has chosen to do most of his work (unless he can help it) from out of the Emerald City.

Unsurprisingly, New South Wales Premier Morris "Yeah, Mate!" Iemma is quick to point out exactly how fucking awesome Sydney is.

"Sydney is the capital of Australia in the sense it's Australia's only global city and it's the best city in the country," Mr Iemma told reporters in Newcastle, where he presided over a regional cabinet meeting.

Should Melbourne get in a huff right about now and begin slagging off Sydney? Will south-east Queensland pipe up "Check out our beaches! And Jupiter's Casino!" Can we expect Perth to throw its hat in the ring? A battle of the state capitals, oh that will be pleasant.

(tunes out)

... because we just noticed the headline chosen by the Herald Sun for the article we linked to in the earlier Fifi Box/Mick Molloy story

Brekkie girl misses Molloy's load

Ha!

They should have just been completely shameless and gone with -

Box misses Molloy's load

In for a penny, etc...

Despite earlier speculation that Fifi Box would be appearing on Mick Molloy's new panel show, it would appear her bosses over at Austereo aren't quite prepared to let her off the leash again.

The cast for Mick Molloy's dip back in TV land, The Nation, has been chosen, and it doesn't include Melbourne's Fifi Box.

While her Sydney breakfast radio rival Jackie O made the grade, Melbourne-born funnygirl Fifi Box will not appear on the Channel 9 show despite starring in its pilot last month.

The door has been left open for Box, but whispers are that her employer, Austereo, banned her from the gig because her ratings had fallen while she juggled her on-air commitments and commuting to Melbourne for Dancing with the Stars.

It is sort of a shame because, despite our earlier playful jabs at Fifi Box, we do find her extremely affable - we just question exactly what she'd bring to a panel show focusing on news and current affairs. In any case, it looks as though Fifi Box's position on the panel will be ably filled by... we're sorry, Jackie O? JACKIE O? You can't get Fifi Box for your show so you aim for Jackie O?

Others to share their humorous take on current affairs, sport and entertainment with Molloy include sportscaster Tiffany Cherry, Quizmania babe Nikki Osbourne and comedian Akmal Saleh.

"I won't be doing all the heavy lifting this time round -- I'm too old for that," Molloy said. "I've recruited some great talent to help carry the load."

Which brings us once again back to muttering over and over with disbelief... Jackie O? Are you taking the piss, sir? Is this just one of many great examples of mischievous japery we can expect from the minds behind The Nation? Will she be the butt of all jokes?

That's gotta be it. There's no other explanation.

The Age reports this morning that Big Brother's blonde ice-queen Emma, who mentioned during the opening night that she'd been estranged from her father for many years and that he was quite ill, is unaware that since she's been in the Dreamworld house her father has passed away.

The father of Big Brother housemate Emma has been buried, but she has yet to be told he's died.

Raymond Cornell, 53, died of cancer in Adelaide, and his funeral was held on Monday.

Emma's boyfriend Tim Stanton has told News Limited that Mr Cornell had asked that his daughter not be told of his death until she left the house.

"Her dad didn't want her to be upset or to feel like she had to leave the house to come to his funeral," Mr Stanton said.

"He didn't want to ruin the experience for her. She might be upset when she comes out and finds out what has happened, but I think she'll understand."

In the grand scheme of life, it does seem more important that Emma soldier on in the Big Brother house rather than be given the option to try and make amends with her father right before he shuffles his mortal coil.

For fuck's sake. At what point did reality television shows take priority over real life situations?

· We thought that bachelor auctions only existed on bad TV shows, but we suppose we were wrong about that.
· In other Clooney news, he and his Ocean's 13 pals had some fun joshing the media about an eye-lift he may or may not have had.
· Harvey Weinstein vs. Luc Besson: It is so on.
· Joss Whedon is not a Captivity fan, to say the least.
· Another day, another O'Donnell/Hasselbeck slapfight.

Our pal at Towleroad has landed this ultra-rare, exclusive image of dreamy-eyed Hollywood hunkboat [audible sigh] Jake Gyllenhaal, fresh off the Cannes premiere of Zodiac, catching a well-deserved nap on the Eurostar train between Paris and London. We really have nothing more to say, other than: Awww...famous people occasionally sleep, just like Us! (But look decidedly more adorable when they do it. Look at him! He's probably dreaming of cute sheep vaulting a perfect little fence.)

After the jump, a cameraphone photo one of our spies submitted long ago, but which we were saving for the perfect occasion. That moment has finally arrived:

Read More »

Having ultimately decided that inviting Generalissimo Hugo's Bolivian Marching Powderâ„¢ to sponsor alleged wardrobe-pirate Lindsay Lohan's 21st birthday bash [Ed.note - They grow up so fast after multiple, suspicious dehydration episodes, don't they?] in Vegas might draw unwanted attention from federal drug enforcement agencies, her event planners have decided to go with the second-most logical patron for a recent rehab graduate and noted AA groupie's coming-of-legal-drinking-age party: a mid-range vodka company. Reports today's Gatecrasher column:

Alcoholics Anonymous member Lindsay Lohan has lined up Svedka vodka to sponsor her 21st birthday blowout in Las Vegas, a rep for the brand confirmed to us yesterday.

It's part of a deal that could net the star up to seven figures for the July 2-3 celebration. That's even before the Wonderland rehab centre she attended gives her a refund. [...]

Read More »

The curious matter of the missing fingernail evidence hovering over the Phil Spector trial has been partially settled today in something of a bombshell ruling from presiding Judge Paul Fidler. Prosecutors had accused the defence of having withheld a fragment of what was believed to be Lana Clarkson's fingernail, recalled by several eyewitnesses as having been collected at the crime scene by forensic scientist Henry Lee. From the LAT Spector Trial Blog:

Judge Larry Paul Fidler made a ruling this morning likely to be heard around the world - that famous criminalist Henry Lee withheld evidence from prosecutors. At issue was a small, white object three people said they saw at the crime scene. A former Spector defence lawyer, Sara Caplan, and a defence investigator both said they saw Lee pick up the object in the foyer of Spector's Alhambra mansion. Prosecutors claim it was a piece of Lana Clarkson's fingernail, which would show, as Head Deputy Dist. Atty Patrick Dixon said in court, that Clarkson's hand was in front of her face when the shot was fired, so "her hands and her fingers were not on the trigger." [...]

Read More »

With an impending phone call from his agent regarding his future on hit ABC medical drama Grey's Anatomy the only thing keeping actor T.R. Knight from reaching his Summer '07 goal of shedding a headful of Manic-Panic-tinted hair, the fate of recently gayhabbed co-star and verbal tormentor Isaiah Washington is equally up in the air. According to the Us Weekly blog, things aren't looking good for Dr. Burke:

"He will not be back as a series regular," a source close to ABC tells Us, noting that the embattled star, 43 - who has been under fire ever since calling costar T.R. Knight, 34, a "f--got" - "could possibly show up for a few episodes" next season.

Still, Washington's rep insists, "Isaiah is not off the show. We do not have a contract yet, but we expect to."

Read More »

Anne Heche's divorce from couchhusband Coley Laffoon is only growing uglier, as the actress has now lashed back at his claims that her tenuous grip on her own sanity renders her an unfit mother. The Men in Trees star now accuses Laffoon of neglecting their son Homer, opting instead to fill his days with leisure activities and illicit keystrokes:

Heche says in court papers that although Laffoon claims to be a stay-at-home dad, he actually leaves their 5-year-old son Homer "with nannies and babysitters while he plays ping-pong, backgammon and poker and views pornography online.

Read More »

TVWeek.com has rounded up clips of recently announced, new shows from all the US networks and posted them to their site, allowing us a sneak preview of the exciting programs that we - like any modern, quick-triggered TV viewer with no attention span to speak of - will likely delete from our TiVo lists after a one-episode tryout. Our first stop was to the ABC tab for a glimpse of Cavemen, the much-anticipated discount-auto-insurance-infomercial/race-parable hybrid that is sure to redefine the moribund sitcom form this September.

Read More »

For a young actor making his way in Hollywood, nothing quite says "I've arrived" like plunking down your sitcom earnings for a first home in the Hills - a bachelor crib of one's own that can accomodate both raucous, hot-tub-mixer casting sessions, and quiet, introspective moments in a sauna-equipped oasis from the showbiz rat race. That's what this Beachwood Canyon home has offered former That 70s Show star Danny Masterson, a residence which can now belong to you, as the actor has decided to address his cramped-living-space thetans by putting it on the market. Our square-footage-obsessed pals at Curbed LA have some of the details:

Our tipster reveals:

1. This guy loves his Scientology. Nearly every room had a plaque of affirmations (or whatever they call them), books on the subject, etc.

2. This guy loves himself. A good 25% of the pop art in the house are drawings and photos and sketches of himself. Oh, and all the mail comes to his inside "joke" names of "D. Punch." Clever self-reference.

Read More »

Because time is clearly of the essence with the show's blockbuster finale just a couple of hours away, we'll pass along this Craigslist plea by an American Idol worker in desperate need of a tension-breaker with a minimum of the usual preamble:

working at idol...need a sex break - 32 any guys in the area who can host...don't mind traveling a little b4 the show. sexy, athletic, and passionate guy looking for hot sex. i don't live here and was hoping to have a hot time while i'm on break. italian-spanish, ht/wt prop, nice cock, and face. looking for good looking sexy guys who are oral tops. if you are oral its all good either way. send over face pic please

Hurry! Once things get underway, our anonymous pleasure-seeker may be too overcome with grief over Blake's crushing defeat to properly perform, a libido-hampering condition which not even Jordin's stirring rendition of her victory single may be able to reverse.

• working at idol...need a sex break - 32 [Craigslist]

Today's LAT publicises the plight of local TV-writing hopeful David McMillan, who after completing the CBS Diversity Institute's Writers Mentoring Program and enduring three unsuccessful staffing seasons, has this year decided to distinguish himself from the other faceless hopefuls watching their careers quietly die in the spec script slush pile by harnessing the power of the internets for some self-promotion. He's seized control of his own destiny by posting a clip of the top ten reasons he should be given a staff gig, then mailing off the URL to his industry contact list. Career suicide, or clever stunt that will land him a few meetings with executives anxious to meet the YouTube guy so that they can brag to their friends over lunch at the commissary that they met the YouTube guy? You be the judge.

Read More »

During the entirety of the ugly affair that saw Alec Baldwin so desperate to repair his voicemail-damaged image that he publicly mused about quitting 30 Rock and willingly ran through The View's confessional gauntlet, we were never more worried about his well-being than when he unexpectedly fired CAA, a move that indicated he'd hit rock bottom with such force that he no longer feared the chilling consequences that inevitably follow any attempt by an earner to jilt the evil agenting monolith. This afternoon, however, it seems that Baldwin is pulling out of his tailspin, as Variety reports that he's back with CAA after a month-long cooling-off period. "I could not imagine being represented by anyone other than Matt DelPiano," said Baldwin through a rep, showing that the actor is finally emotionally healthy enough to realise that CAA wasn't kidding around when it left all those notes underneath his windshield wiper reading, "If you so much as take a lunch with William Morris, you'll wake up with Billy's severed head on your pillow tomorrow."

• Alec Baldwin returns to CAA [Variety]

· Mike Myers is the latest star to try and take a whack at the long-gestating remake of The Secret Life of Walter Mitty, which has now moved from Paramount to 20th Century Fox, and to which Owen "The Butterscotch Stalliion" Wilson and Jim "My Career's Way Too Cold To Have A Decent Nickname" Carrey were once attached. [Variety]
· MTV Games has announced a Jackass video game, which will ship with a special controller that will deliver blunt-force trauma to a player's genitals or emit flatulence in his face as he steers Johnny Knoxville and his gang through a variety of wacky stunts. [THR]
· Fox's American Idol predictably dominates in its timeslot, but there's some potentially bad news for the network: the preview/premiere of On the Lot opens to a weak number, calling into serious question Brett Ratner's TV drawing power. [Variety]
· Cuba Gooding Jr. will produce and play a pivotal janitor role in "edgy," Napoloean Dynamite-esque teen comedy Harold. [THR] ·Writers' collectives are so hot right now: Screenwriters like Christopher "Usual Suspects" McQuarrie, John "Undercover Brother" Ridley, and Naomi "Jake and Maggie's Mom" Foner Gyllenhaal have formed the 1.3.9 co-op, joining forces to help each other maintain more control over the creative process.

When the marketing team for Knocked Up conceived its cute Make-Your-Own-Bastard web game, they couldn't have foreseen the horrifying parental combinations that the Hurty Elbow blog would soon feed into it. We hope that when they come across the dead-eyed spawn resulting from the commingling of superproducers Brian Grazer and Jerry Bruckheimer or hacky directors Brett Ratner and Michael Bay, they realise that their once-fun project has been hopelessly corrupted and destroy the infernal apparatus that produced such abominations.

• Same Sex Celebrity Moguls Get Knocked Up [Hurty Elbow]
• Knocked-Up Babymaker