Each year, Big Brother thrusts intruders into the house to "shake things up", "stir the pot" and other catchphrases used over and over to an excruciating degree, and 2007 is no exception. Therefore, Defamer Australia would like to introduce you to this year's devilish intruder twosome - Laura and Daniela.

Here's what we know about 'em.

Name: LAURA
Age: 20
State: TAS
Occupation: ‘RECEPTIONIST'

Laura's a Greeny. Not a little bit green. She's capital letters GREEN. Her mission in life is simple. She's here to save the world. No surprise then her hero is Sir Bob Geldof. Laura hates wearing shoes. Has almost no possessions. And, is a great limbo dancer. This year's ‘green' Big Brother House could just be her ideal home

A GREAT LIMBO DANCER, YOU SAY? OH WE WILL BE TUNING IN "EN MASSE"! Actually, Laura sounds alright. Sort of. But it's going to take a preeeetty special introduction promo clip to win our hearts fully tomorrow night as we are not cheap, you know.

Name: DANIELA
Age: 24
State: WA
Occupation: HOSPITALITY

Born in Brazil, Daniela has a hot-blooded & flirtatious Latin temperament. She says the topic she knows more about than anything else is ‘how to be a sexy woman'. She dances a mean salsa. Is a really bad surfer. And, used to be a trapeze artist & juggler in a circus. There's no safety net in the Big Brother House and that's just the way Daniela likes it.

"How to be a sexy woman" is a wonderful topic, and we can't wait to see Daniela move on from the Big Brother house to an appearance on Jeopardy! where she will no doubt dominate, like a Harry M. Miller-supported Rosie Perez. Also, salsa sounds charming. Combined with Laura's limbo skills, and the house is going to turn into a veritable cruise ship of fun!

Their addition to the household had better go some way into improving the show or we are going to get violent soon.

More and more Australian Idol related articles are starting to appear in the papers, reminding those of us who watch more reality television than recommended by health professionals that we must prepare ourselves, gather strength and rest up in anticipation of the at times grueling period of the ratings season where Channel Ten's line up seems to consist of only two shows - Australian Idol and Big Brother.

Whetting our appetites for the impending barrage of mildly talented fame-hungry teenagers/future Young Divas members is this report from the Sunday Telegraph.

It actually did manage to muster up excitement in Defamer Australia HQ because it reminded us that our beloved Ian "Dicko" Dickson is returning to the franchise in its fifth season as his attempt to capitalise on his sudden fame on another television station failed spectacularly to keep things "real" and provide witless cock-holster Kyle Sandilands with the occasional well-deserved verbal kick up the jacksie.

Though not present at yesterday's auditions, returning Australian Idol judge Ian "Dicko'' Dickson said he had been pleased with the quality of performers already discovered.

"We've found some special people, but need some more - we're greedy,'' Dickson said.

Alright, so that's not quite a shining example of Dicko's wit and all-round excellence but damn it, we're just thrilled that there'll be someone on the judging panel who can string a coherent sentence together and verbalise their generally reasonable and sane thoughts in a sensible manner.

After all, as the past two seasons have proved, when you're relying on Mark "JIBBIDY JANGJANG JOO JAAAAAA, TOUCHDOWN! EXTREMUS ROCKIUS CHA BOO LA BOO DONG DONG TINGLES BAM BAM BAM SPAGHETTI-OS!" Holden to be the voice of reason on any occasion, things have hit a low point.

And let's face it, no matter how rubbish Idol is this year, with Dicko on board it is guaranteed to be a hundred times better than this year's season of Big Brother.

Those in the country anxiously following the ongoing saga that is the Antonia Kidman\Angus Hawley break up (Defamer Australia, Annette Sharp, Antonia and Angus - at last count anyways) will be fascinated to learn there's been an update in the story.

The fallout following the breakdown of Antonia Kidman's marriage continued last week with this column informed that Kidman's estranged husband, Angus Hawley, phoned her from rehab to tell her their marriage was over.

While Kidman later dutifully prepared a statement for the press addressing his admission to rehab for "anxiety and depression" and pledging her "full support", friends say she was largely unsurprised by her husband's decision to bring closure to their marriage.

While Kidman has recovered her figure quickly following the birth of new daughter Sybella, it is Hawley who has taken on a fairly rigorous exercise program to slow the ravages of time.

We can only assume that the "ravages of time" currently attacking a rapidly expanding and/or wrinkling Angus Hawley is the real reason behind the split, and thus something totally relevant to mention in the report. Well done, Annette - have a Walkley!

The Herald Sun today reports that Mongolian dynamo Genghis Khan has three trillion descendents, or something along those lines.

Mongolian warlord Genghis Khan was notorious for his sexual as well as his territorial conquests. Now science has backed history and shown the ruthless leader has 16 million Asian descendants.

We mention it only because the article made us wonder "Could Kevin Federline be the new Genghis Khan?" Surely our children's children's children's children's children's children's children will be marveling in a similar manner at just how far K-Fed managed to spread his seed during his brief but extremely potent time on this planet.

It is with tears welling in our eyes and an unshakeable feeling of "Goddamit! If those two crazy kids can't make it in this mixed up world, what hope is there for the rest of us?" that Defamer Australia, in between shaking our fist at the sky and cursing Cupid, bring you the news that John Mayer and Jessica Simpson have apparently decided to call it quits.

"They officially called it quits this past weekend," a source told the site. "They'd been having problems for a while now and just decided it'd be better to end things."

Just a few days ago, Simpson's father was praising Mayer in the press.

And if you can't make love work with World's Creepiest Dad, the cans-obsessed Joe Simpson, on your side, then we're all fucked. In any case, the split means no more beautiful moments between the couple as captured in the below video.

Where did it all go wrong? Possibly at the following point...

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We won't make this YouTube Clip Of The Day since we're fairly certain that by the time midday rolls around, we'll receive yet another amazing link to footage which'll make us scream with glee, so just enjoy this as part of our continuing coverage of Peter Andre and Jordan's home life.

Marvel at Pete's step-son Harvey as he responds appropriately to accusations from Andre that the adorably "statuesque" child has been patronising him.

Harvey, Australia understands exactly how you feel.