We're paraphrasing, sure, but a blog entry on the Brisbane Times website titled "Is Brisbane too drunk for love?" has us worried. Or wait. Maybe we're excited.

You'd have to be deaf, dumb or one of the wasted blind to miss the mobs o' booze-hags and liquored-up louts stumbling 'round the night lights of Bris Vegas, brimming with the aggro-lust a dozen spirits downed will spawn.

The sad thing is, these are often the same sorts who spend hours at the gym, many dollars on their wardrobe and countless nights dreaming of their perfect match.

They begin their night out with the ambition of meeting the man/woman of their dreams but after getting all pissed an' silly, their eve soon becomes memorable for all the wrong reasons. Sure enough, they forget the name of the top bird/bloke they bumped (literally) into, who owns the bed they wake up in and how the heck they got there.

These sorts of situations form the root of the argument that proclaims the club and pub scene as a highly inappropriate place to search for real romance and serious relationships. Pash-and-dashes or the charming root 'n' scoot become the norm.

But I think this blows.

Good grief.

Two things.

i) Perhaps we should visit Brisbane soon. It sounds like everyone's a bit easy up there, which greatly increases our chances of a charming root 'n' scoot (OUR FAVOURITE NEW TERM FOR LOVEMAKING, BTW).

ii) Is CityKat the Queensland equivalent of the cringe-inducing Sam & The City?

We realise you lot are constantly worried about the state of certain celebrity friendships, tenuous things that they are, so we're always pleased to report on stories where two glittering stars aren't fighting. Thus a recent article in the Daily Telegraph struck us as important to mention.

Rachel Griffiths and Toni Collette are still friends - after all these years'n'all! Hurrah!

Golden Globe winner Rachel Griffiths has denied a rift with Muriel's Wedding co-star Toni Collette.

Reports of a feud surfaced at the opening of Griffiths husband's art exhibition last week, when Collette and her husband Dave Galafassi refused to have their photograph taken with Griffiths or her husband Andrew Taylor.

The Brothers and Sisters star yesterday denied the rumours saying there were no chinks in their 13-year friendship."It's a crap story and disgusting," Griffiths told The Daily Telegraph.

"It was great to see her and I really appreciated seeing both of them. "Dave and Andy are really close and get on like a house on fire and Toni was the first person to see both my babies when they were born."

Just exclaiming "PHEW!" loudly seems like an understatement, doesn't it?

But hang on... why wouldn't Toni get photographed with Rach and her hubby Andrew?

Griffith's said her friend declined to be in a photograph because she felt the exhibition launch was Taylor's time to shine.

"She was there to support Andy," she said.

Warm the cockles of our cynical heart, that does.

We swear to God, we never intended to publish more YouTube Clip Of The Day posts on this chilly Thursday afternoon. Truly. But then we got sent another amazing video and frankly, if you're having the kind of day we are, you need to see this. You really do.

YOUTUBE CLIP OF THE DAY II

Nicely summarised by this site -

The final message in the video's end credits says it best. It reads, simply, "Choreographed by All of Us." Those very word should be on the Internet's tombstone.

Yes, yes they should. What you are about to see is so hypnotic, so beautiful... words cannot do it justice.

Oh. My. God.

This has bought us more joy today than we could possibly put into words. Via Pitchfork, please put your hands together for the Kidz Bop team and the video clip for their cover of Since U Been Gone.

02.37 is the point where we - along with many others who had already witnessed this video's glory - lost it completely. In a good way.

After her star turn at The Logies ably playing the part of Lovable Ditzy Token Woman, not to mention her regular appearances on Channel Ten's Thank God You're Here! playing Lovable Ditzy Token Woman and her second place finish in the last Dancing With The Stars series where she won the nation's heart by being the Clumsy Lovable Ditzy Token Woman it would appear that the major television networks are frantically making advances toward the most wanted box in the country right now - Fifi Box.

The Triple M announcer has quickly become TV hot property since waltzing into the final of Seven's Dancing with the Stars earlier this month and winning a legion of fans.

While Nine managed to steal her away to co-host the Logies last week, it's understood she has so far rebuffed offers to join the network on a permanent basis - and even turned down a regular spot on Mick Molloy's new show The Nation.

Nine execs had hoped she would sign on for the gig after appearing in the pilot episode - shot during the final weeks of Seven's celebrity dance-off - before the program debuts against All Saints next month.

Sadly, it appears that Channel Nine will probably be out of luck when it comes to securing Box.

Although a Nine spokeswoman yesterday insisted "nothing has been confirmed" about whether Box would join the show, industry insiders revealed she had already passed on the project.

"The show will be based in Melbourne and (Box) really wants to concentrate on her Sydney commitments at the moment - particularly her radio show The Shebang," a source told Confidential .

Yes, Fifi's role on The Shebang - she is the Ditzy Token Woman of the team - certainly deserves her full and undivided attention.

But wait! Seven may still be in with a chance!

No doubt the news was well received by Seven, which is believed to be in talks with Box.

So that's that. In other news, box is sometimes an expression used to describe a vagina. Just in case you missed our brick-to-the-back-of-the-head shithouse attempts at dragging out a lame gag.

As prosecutors laid out their airtight case in the matter of The People Vs. Paris Hilton, one woman dared to defy popular opinion and stand shoulder to shoulder with the heiress in her darkest hour, laughing defiantly during their arguments, and brazenly asking of the judge, "May I have your autograph?" The woman: Paris's mum, Kathy Hilton, best known as the star of I Want To Be A Hilton, in addition to spawning the polarising fragrance magnate. In a statement dictated personally to fellow rich ladyfriend Barbara Walters, Mother Hilton had this to say about her daughter's misfortunes:

"We can only hope that something positive will come from all of this.

Read More »

Well, we found this amusing. Recently in The Age there was a piece about the return of David Hicks to Australia.

Legislation enabling David Hicks' transfer to Australia was tabled in Parliament yesterday, paving the way for his return as early as next week.

The Federal Government is refusing to reveal the exact date and nature of Hicks' return, yet under a court order he must be home by the end of the month.

Hicks, 31, who was captured by US forces in Afghanistan in 2001, pleaded guilty to providing material support for terrorism before a US military commission in March. Under a prisoner transfer agreement, he will serve nine months in Adelaide's Yatala prison and has agreed not to speak publicly on his experiences in Guantanamo Bay for 12 months after arriving back.

All very good. You can read the rest of the article here and feel like a mature individual with an interest in current affairs.

Meanwhile, we'll continue snickering like children over the fact the article was written by Hall & Oates song Sarah Smiles.

Okay, okay - we know the song is actually called Sara Smile, but you try reading the by-line without Hall & Oates in your head.

Thanks to reader John for the heads up!

PS: If you haven't heard the song, please - enjoy this with our compliments. It's some awful band's cover version inexplicably accompanying a Haley Joel Osment tribute video on YouTube. Erm. Yes.

Fox has yet to officially release its Fall schedule, but we feel confident that nothing they're going to reveal tomorrow can possibly change our opinion about what will be our favorite new show come September: Kid Nation, the bold... Read More »

· A video obtained by Inside Edition (that's the TV tabloid news program hosted by Deborah "Hey, Everyone! Who Wants To Watch That Dowdy Old Jane Pauley When You Can Have Me Instead! What? I'm Fired? I Guess I'll Slum It At Inside Edition Until Something Better Comes Along. Girl's Gotta Eat!" Norville) has obtained a videotaped testimonial made shortly after Lana Clarkson's death, intended for posting on his site, in which he swears up and down he didn't pull the trigger. "She may have accidentally taken her life, she may have been eating the gun ... she may have been doing anything," were some of the alternate theories he offered, says InsideEdition.com, adding a fascinating gun-gobbling angle to the mystery that the defense has yet to explore. [InsideEdition]

Read More »

Sensing that the trainwreck represented by her brief comeback tour has lost valuable tabloid column inches to Lindsay Lohan's coke video and Paris Hilton's victimisation by the Los Angeles justice system, Britney Spears has resorted to the reliable publicity ploy of releasing a new Letter of Truth on her website. With no fresh scandals or disturbing acting-out episodes for which to apologize to her loyal fans, the LOT's timing is curious; perhaps her talk of a "trying time" is meant to prepare us for a pre-planned meltdown at this Saturday night's Orlando House of Blues show, during which she'll raffle off her youngest child to a lucky concertgoer and then self-immolate during the final, lip-synched bars of deep first-album cut "E-mail My Heart."

• BritneySpears.com

While the recently disseminated mugshots of Chris "Formerly of HBO" Albrecht and David "Bud Bundy" Faustino did little but remind us of the vaguely depressing fact that the rich and famous don't photograph any better than the average person... Read More »

In the interest of streamlining our coverage of podiatric oddities and mishaps in the greater famous-people population, we bring to you a round-up of today's top toe-related celebrity health stories, as reported by TMZ: · Blake "For the Love... Read More »

· Fox reaches into a hat containing slips of paper with the names of actors, wacky situations, and clichéd expressions written on them, producing the Cameron Diaz/Ashton Kutcher project What Happens in Vegas, the story of two people who wake up to discover they've gotten married - and won a huge jackpot! - following a night of debauchery. [Variety]
· Get on the phone with your friends and figure out who's going to host the viewing party: The The Hollywood Reporter's 36th Annual Key Art Awards are coming! [THR]
· Elijah Wood playing Iggy Pop? Sure, why not? After yesterday's announced Tim Allen/David Mamet project, we're open to anything. [Variety]
· Fox signs up 24 for two more seasons, keeping Kiefer Sutherland in beer money through 2009. [THR]
· Cannes kicks off today! Obviously we're not there, so we feel we can be bitterly dismissive of all the Rivieria-side orgies we're missing out on. [Variety]

Concerned that the recent betrayal of a camera-phone-wielding "friend" who exploited a private moment of bathroom stall bonding for her own financial gain might have fragile starlet Lindsay Lohan, like, totally bummed out and junk?, Us Weekly checks in with mumager and Enabling Celebrity Parent Of the Year frontrunner Dina Lohan to see how her daughter is handling this latest blow to her post-rehab image:

How is Lindsay holding up with the tape circulating? "We're not reading anything about it. You can't let it bother you. We work so hard, then some girl just tried to make money off her [for that tape]. Lindsay doesn't even know who her friends are."

Read More »

Of the many key pieces of evidence to click into place in the Phil Spector murder trial, none was more anticipated than the testimony of Spector's driver, Adriano DeSouza. On the fateful night, DeSouza ferried Spector to various WeHo watering holes before eventually bringing his boss and House of Blues hostess Lana Clarkson back to the castle "for one drink". Two hours later, he was startled by "a pow," followed soon thereafter by Spector emerging from the residence holding a gun in his bloodied hand:

"He said, 'I think I killed somebody,'" driver Adriano DeSouza said at the legendary music producer's murder trial. [...]

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It should surprise no one to discover that launching a film at the Cannes festival is an absurdly expensive proposition, as the overseas export of Hollywood's auto-fellating promotional machinery requires the transport, lodging, and constant pampering of scores of entitiled executives, talent, and hangers-on pressed into movie-pimping duty. (Publicists and other support staff, of course, sleep 30 to a motel room and subsist only on the croissant crumbs they brush off their betters' tuxedo lapels on the red carpet.) In looking at the costs associated with properly debuting at Cannes, the LAT notes that at least one maverick studio is doing what it can to halt the budget-destroying insanity:

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By this third morning of the upfronts, you are probably exhausted by the constant barrage of stories about new television shows you probably won't have the time or desire to watch. (NBC really nailed it: Who has time for... Read More »