Wednesday, May 16, 2007

From The “In Case You Missed It” Files

4:10PM Jess McGuire | We’re sorry, but just on the off chance you don’t read through old posts on here about Paris Hilton in the vain hope a reader will have commented something truly brilliant and retarded, we’d like to draw your attention to a comment in this blog entry, which tickled us in an extremely sensuous manner. hey paris!! hope you read this baby girl….if not to all you jeolous fat butt ugly (cos thats the ONLY reason you’d down this girl) lay off her!! its just that..jealousy..and its sick and doesnt show her up its shows you up!! to be so weak and proves you have no life of your own…TO PARIS IF YOU DO READ THIS ….BABYGIRL…YOU HOLD YOUR HEAD HIGH…DO YOUR TIME..SHOW THEM YOUR MORE THAN A PRETTY FACE..WHICH I CAN SEE THAT YOU ARE..YOU WILL GET THROUGH THIS..IGNORE ALL THE IGNORANT BACKSTABBING BITCHES AND YOU LIVE YOUR LIFE TO THE FULL..IM ALL FOR YOU…BE STRONG.I KNOW YOU CAN DO IT..YOU HAVE EVERYTHING TO LIVE FOR.. sincerely, gayle grey from australia….xxxxxxx WAITER? ONE SERVING OF RICE PAPER LOLZ, PLEASE! PS: The repeated use of the term “babygirl” leads us to suspect that the author of this mad missive is not, in fact, Gayle Grey from Australia… but rather Marcia Hines from Australian Idol! You go, sister-girlfriend! More »

Peter Parker and Mary Jane Split The Chores

11:55AM Defamer Hollywood | In time for everyone’s favourite radioactive web-crawler’s record-breaking return to the box office comes this authorised Marvel figurine, depicting Peter Parker’s amply endowed love interest, Mary Jane – clearly not modelled on Kirsten Dunst – dutifully attending to Spider-Man’s hand-laundering needs. One miffed fangirl blogger reminded readers, “Don’t miss the thong, ripped jeans, pearl necklace, and bare feet,” (as if the skill it takes to convincingly sculpt a braided rope belt doesn’t also deserve special recognition!), while another went to the trouble of sketching the gender-reversed scenario, the better to fully illustrate the outrageousness of the collectibles’s implied sexism. Call us old fashioned, but the result – a touching tableau depicting a bethonged Peter Parker attentively Woolite-ing his lady’s lacey underthings – brought a tear to our eye, the kind of well-observed snapshot of domestic tenderness that was woefully missing from the big screen foray. [Thong Spider-Man: Logansrogue] Thongy figurine of Spiderman’s girlfriend (maid?) incites blogger ire [BoingBoing] Mary Jane Comiquette [Sideshow Collectibles] More »

US upfronts: Portapotty Humor, Oprah Worship

8:42AM Defamer Hollywood | Frostbitten by the overly generous use of air conditioning and beginning to hallucinate that she’s been trapped in “a weird icy vodka freezer,” intrepid NY Times TV critic Virginia Heffernan has still managed to tap out frequent blog dispatches from inside ABC’s ongoing upfront presentation to advertisers. Before finally collapsing underneath the weight of the icicles forming on her extremities, she notes that pilot-hoarding ABC president Greenlightin’ Steve McPherson (”I think it’s comical when I hear other people saying we’re spending too much on television. We’re not spending $600 million on football. We’ll continue to spend on R&D,” quotes TV Week) made sure that he didn’t get so wrapped up in his special day that he forgot to thank infinitely beneficent TV deity Oprah Winfrey for delivering unto him a surefire winner: Thank You, Your Oprah Majesty Stephen McPherson, the boss here, just thanked Oprah in the humble kiss-the-ring way for her first prime-time reality show, “The Big Give.” More »

Queensland/New South Wales Relations Take An Online Turn For The Blurst.

7:12AM Jess McGuire | God bless the mainstream media. They’ve gone from ignoring the confusing world of blogging to embracing it awkwardly, Richard Gere-ing the online community’s Shilpa Shetty, and now that pretty much all of the major papers have discovered the “Create Blog!” function on their websites, ain’t nothing gonna stop them now. The latest “special site” to impress us with its creativity and wit? The Daily Telegraph’s Cane Those Toads! site, a blog dedicated to hating Queensland (created just in time for the State Of Origin!). With contributers to the site like the wittily named “Citizen Kane Toad” – OUR SIDES, SEND MEDICAL HELP IMMEDIATELY! – and articles demanding the removal of Queensland from the Federation, we look forward to seeing where this goes. Your move, Queensland. More »

Penberthy Defends “Hey Monster, You Forgot Your Baby!” Approach To Tracking Down The Mother Of Baby Catherine.

6:53AM Jess McGuire | The switchboards over at Sydney’s talkback radio stations have been flashing like an epileptics nightmare, almost overloaded with callers demanding the scalp of Daily Telegraph editor David Penberthy since the paper decided to go with the simple and extremely emotive “HOW COULD SHE?” headline to accompany an article about baby Catherine, the newborn abandoned outside a Melbourne hospital on Mother’s Day. Former Victorian Premier – and mental health campaigner – Jeff Kennett, no doubt unaware Penberthy has survived this, that and the other thing, told 702’s Virginia Trioli - “This editor should be bloody sacked … He from the buck stops of his desk accepts no responsibility, no community responsibility at all for his paper and if he does accept responsibility, then he should be sacked because there’s no justification for this sort of headline. … We simply don’t know the facts and without knowing the facts or having any idea about the circumstances, what right has anyone got to prejudge?” However, we suspect that Dave’s job is safe - at least for this week – when the nation’s beloved Prime Minister is willing to take time out from important matters like, say, keeping stopping that Commie bitch from pilfering his seat, to back him up. Prime Minister John Howard has strongly defended Sydney newspaper the Daily Telegraph over the way it reported the abandonment of a baby girl. … “That is a normal human reaction,” he said. “I feel for the mother, I feel for the baby, I feel for the woman’s family, but fair go to the Tele. Too right, Mr Howard. For when you really think about it, it’s the Daily Telegraph who should truly be considered the victim in all this. More »