Wednesday, May 2, 2007
Perez Hilton: As Charming As You Always Imagined Him To Be
3:49PM Jess McGuire | We just received the following email exchange between WHO Weekly and celebrity blogger (cough) Perez Hilton. It is eerily reminiscent of his infamous correspondence with a publicist from Harrison & Shriftman
On 24 April, Who’s Senior Brand Manager, Samantha Sharp, wrote:
Hi Mario,
I am writing to confirm that following your withdrawal from your written obligations with WHO, the magazine is now unable to proceed with hosting a party for you on Tuesday, May 1. As you know, you agreed on and have already benefited from a full advertising page in WHO, which we put together to help you raise your profile as requested and which will no doubt be of commercial benefit to you since the page is in the issue that is already onsale. Invitations, with your approval, had already gone out and we have now had to contact confirmed guests telling them that the party is not proceeding. We spent a lot of time and effort on making this a great event for you.
All the best for the future.
Regards,
Sam
How the hell will Perez, the most humble and honourable blogger ON GOD’S GREEN FUCKING EARTH respond to such stuff? See for yourself.
More » 
Your Two Cents Regarding This Year’s Big Brother.
2:06PM Jess McGuire | We’ve been getting quite a bit of mail about Big Brother from you lot, so we’ve decided to publish two of ‘em, leaving you pondering madly as to what all the other emails we chose not to publish contain.
Let’s roll…
More » Kate Ceberano Wins Celebrity Talent Show, Promptly Signs Up To Another To Reinforce The Important Message That Operating Thetans (Level IV) Can Do Anything!
12:42PM Jess McGuire | A hearty congratulations must go out to Kate Ceberano who won last night’s finale of Dancing With The Stars, competing against Triple M radio personality Fifi Box.
Oh wait. This Sydney Confidential article – and god knows, if we can’t believe in what the kids at Sydney Confidential have to say, there’s simply no one for us to place our trust in as we make our way through this mixed up, dang crazy world – would suggest we shouldn’t be celebrating Ceberano’s victory. We’re so confused!
Our Fifi was robbed.
The adopted Sydneysider was the judges’ favourite on the night, but Triple M’s Fifi Box had victory snatched from her by singer Kate Ceberano in the season finale of Dancing With The Stars.
Down-to-earth Box, who performed a spirited freestyle dance to a Michael Jackson medley, had Ceberano’s measure, scoring 114 points to Ceberano’s 113, as voted by the DWTS judges.
We’ll tell you something for nothing – there’s simply no phrase on this earth that gets us more excited and razzed than “down-to-earth box”.
Later Ceberano said she thought the win miraculous, especially considering the groundswell of support behind Box.
“I can’t explain it,†Ceberano said.
WE CAN, KATE! YOU PWNED THE THETANS WOT WAS LIVING IN YER DANCIN’ SHOES! WE ARE SO INSPIRED BY THIS MOMENTOUS OCCASION, WE WANT TO HAVE A FREE INTELLIGENCE TEST/SEND MONEY IMMEDIATELY.
But she will have little time to savour her victory as she will line up next week on Seven’s It Takes Two, which fills the DWTS timeslot.
And that right there, folks, is a hugely inspirational example of one celeb’s dedication to the righteous cause of relatively cheap Channel Seven programming.
Of course, the only thing Defamer Australia wants to know is… when are we going to see some of Kate’s delightful brother Phil “Antonia” Ceberano on the telly? Last we heard, he was perfecting his ripped body with Guy Leech in between rocking out with his cock out shirt off.
SEND US SOME LOVE, PHIL!
CEBERANO FACT #1! Kate and Phil are third generation Scientologists!
CEBERANO FACT #2! Phil has not one, not two, but three MySpace Music sites! Trentwood, Phil Ceberano’s High School Band and Phil Ceberano Music! PHEW! THERE’S NO SUCH THING AS TOO MUCH PHIL FOR US! More » 
Short Ends: In Your Face, Pittsburgh
12:06PM Defamer Hollywood | · We’re number one! We’re number one! · RIP, Tom Poston. Couldn’t they have gone with something a little better than “TV’s clueless everyman”? At the very least, how about “TV’s lovably clueless everyman”? · A recovering Ebert speaks. · Tom Cruise and Brooke Shields are really overdoing it with the BFF act. We get it, he’s totally OK with her choice to use dangerous street drugs to treat her depression now. · You see, it’s funny because a bitch is a female dog. She’s shopping for a dog! LOL. · Toronto gets 999 Borats. More »
Boy George Arrested After Gaydar Pick Up Goes Seriously Awry.
11:59AM Jess McGuire | Former Culture Club frontman Boy George has been arrested over in the UK after a Norwegian escort he met on Gaydar accused the singer of assault and false imprisonment.
A MALE escort told of his terror last night after claiming he was kidnapped by Boy George.
Auden Carlsen, 28, said: “It’s ironic that his biggest hit was Do You Really Want To Hurt Me? – because I’m sure he did want to hurt me.
“I was convinced I was going to die.â€
Oh Auden, it certainly IS ironic! And we salute the fact he hasn’t shied away from brilliant wordplay despite the obvious trauma he is going through.
Which led us to think… what if he had encountered other (allegedly) criminally minded eighties pop stars over the weekend? We play out the scenarios after the jump. More » 
Fuel Your Next Regrettable One-Night-Stand With Danny DeVito Brand Limoncello
11:30AM Defamer Hollywood | In a season of The View that gave us much to talk about, one of the most noteworthy appearances came when Danny DeVito staggered onto the set and was refreshingly upfront about the all-nighter he had pulled with George Clooney: “I knew it was the last seven limoncellos that were going to get me,” he admitted, thus thrusting a heretofore marginally popular Italian lemon liqueur upon the world stage. Now, through a press release, Danny proudly announces his own line of artisanal, cirtrusy hangover-inducers: Danny DeVito Unveils Personal Label Limoncello Liqueur Orlando, FL and Freeport, NY (April 30, 2007)—Danny DeVito – actor, producer, director and proud Italian American – has reached back to his roots to bring Americans a taste of Sorrento in Danny DeVito’s Premium Limoncello. [...] More »
Love Hewitt’s Fired Managers Can’t Hardly Wait To Get Commissions They’re Owed
8:48AM Defamer Hollywood | It’s always a sad affair when the relationship between high-earning talent and their people sours to the point that litigation becomes necessary, but at least the lawyers for Handprint Entertainment, the management company currently suing Ghost Whisperer star Jennifer Love Hewitt for money they believe they’re owed, are having some fun with it. In addition to the zingers about Hewitt “having troubles resolving unfinished business with the living” and “listening to the torturous whispers of her new manager” you can see excerpted above from the complaint posted at THR ESQ, there’s also one claiming she “knows what she did last season” in not turning over the 10 per cent the prodigiously breasted actress “racked”* up in commisions. [*We may have made the last part up, which probably would've put the wisecracking legal team in contempt of court.] Suit Claims Love Hewitt Owes Management Commissions [THR ESQ] More »
Something’s Gotta Flop This Season, So Why Not Spider-Man?
8:07AM Defamer Hollywood | With the major studios about to release roughly five-thousand big-budget sequels (among them Pirates 3, Shrek the Third, Harry Potter the Fifth, Ocean’s 13, Die Hard 4, and, of course, Fantastic Four 2: We’ll Just Hire ‘Into the Blue’ If We Want to Ogle Jessica Alba) into a marketplace so overcrowded with product that cinema lobbies will be clogged like the streets of Calcutta from May until August, at least one “sure thing” is bound to bring in a disappointingâ„¢ number and have its executives contemplating a suicide pact rather than suffer the humiliation of having to explain what went wrong to the media. Since Spider-Man 3 might already be The Most Expensive Movie Ever Made, Slate wonders if it might be this season’s little web-slinging underachiever even if it shatters Aquaman’s opening weekend record: A distribution executive at a studio that has nothing to do with any of the films just mentioned predicts that Spider-Man will open huge, at about $US120 million. The film is an event with a following, and there is nothing in theatres right now that anyone wants to see, according to this executive. But the question is the strength of the movie’s eight legs. “Shrek and Pirates have broad, broad appeal,” this executive says. “With Spider-Man, the word is out that it’s dark.” Taking into account the movie’s cost, our veteran believes that could mean trouble. More »YouTube Clip Of The Day
7:08AM Jess McGuire | It is with some surprise that we discover Will Ferrell’s hit interweb video ‘The Landlord’ wasn’t the first case of someone filming their child saying things for the amusement of millions of faceless adults around the globe. It would seem that the following clip, titled “TINY TV BOSS”, has been floating around on the web for nearly a year.
Ahhh, children. Is there anything they can’t repeat in an adorable voice whilst being filmed? We should point out we also love that the wee fellow makes reference to our unrequited love favourite person in the entire world, the hilarious and homosexual Simon Amstell.
More » Dannielynn Poops Among Us
6:08AM Jess McGuire | NBC Universal reportedly paid $US1 million for exclusive access to Dannielynn Hope Marshall Birkead, a deal that is now culminating in her Journey to America, as well as an honorary godfather title and round-the-clock blankey duty for Access Hollywood reporter Tony Potts:
[UPDATED: 1:38 PM] LOUISVILLE, Kentucky (May 1, 2007) — Dannielynn Birkhead has touched down in her dad’s hometown for the very first time. The plane carrying the daughter of photographer Larry Birkhead and the late model Anna Nicole Smith just landed in Louisville, Kentucky. [...]
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