Heaven’s Movie Pirates About To Meet Their Worst Nightmare

It is with a heavy heart that we note the passing of former MPAA lobbyist Jack Valenti, an enemy of the movie-pirate menace so terrifying that a future generation of unauthorised downloaders will trade apocryphal stories about the copyright-defending bogeyman in hushed tones while watching illegal copies of Spider-Man 16, visibly trembling as they hear once again how a DVD-ripping friend of a friend’s grandfather once awoke to find Valenti’s hook embedded in the side of her computer and the message STOP RAPING HOLLYWOOD scrawled in blood on the bedroom wall. The LAT has a detailed obituary for those interested in the hyperbole-prone pirate-hunter and ratings system pioneer’s legacy; after the jump, a tribute round-up of our Hollywood sibling’s posts about Valenti’s fascinating thoughts on subjects like elves, the hostess-humping absurdity of the Hayes Code era, and the un-fucking-believable magic boxes that assist outlaws in stealing food from the mouths of honest stuntmen:

· Jack Valenti, Champion Of The Ratings System

· Jack Valenti Shares His Thoughts On Politics, Elves

· MPAA Chief Jack Valenti: Really, We Love This Inter-Thing

· Nerd Stumps Jack Valenti

· Jack Valenti: Cigarettes Are Stealing Our Movies!

· Jack Valenti Won’t Go Quietly

[Photo: Getty Images]

• Jack Valenti, 85; former Hollywood lobbyist pioneered film ratings system [LAT]