We realise that this clip has already had its time in the interweb sun, but we've never been shy of gleefully declaring we're late with a fad. Sure, it takes us a while to jump onto certain net-bandwagons - and we just don't care! Be sure to stick around for when we give you the hot buzz on an up and coming band from Ireland we really think are going to go places, if they only change their idiotic stage names - Bono? The Edge? Surely you take the piss, lads.

Ahem. Moving on. Please enjoy our YouTube Clip Of The Day.

We are obsessed with the child in the red. Has he had too much sugar? Is he a future rock and roll superstar? Is he just deranged? It does not matter. The bit at around 02.08 where he swings into frame pleased us so much, we suffered several aneurysms and collapsed momentarily.

When we promise something, we deliver. Until the day we don't. Which means that our claim to have a couple of peeps attending the MTV Awards in Sydney was not a lie we made up to impress our Invisible But Beloved Nonetheless Audience and distract you from the fact we couldn't go ourselves! Nay, our delightful moles did indeed infiltrate the awards and took a whooooole lotta photos on the red carpet. Unfortunately it seems the after party was so hideously boring, it was simply not worth taking illicit mobile phone pictures. Anyway. Here are some snaps from the showbiz knees up of the century! the year! April!

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You didn't think we'd stop there, did you?

Because we almost did.

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It appears those scallywags-with-feelings won Best Rock Video and Video Of The Year last night at the MTV Video Music Awards!

Which is quite beautiful, really.

Because it has taught a generation of young men that 36 is not too old to wear eyeliner, and that pretending to be down with "the kids" will eventually work out for you, although it may unfortunately lead to everyone with half a brain forgetting you could sort of act once upon a time.

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Not in a turkey slapping, over-excited-Trish-Draper sort of way though.

Cruz, who viewers may remember as the virginal Christian fellow who believes men are superior to women because The Jeebus had a penis, decided he was no longer content to drive himself slowly mental by living in Napisan's wet dream, and thus chose to do a Sugababes*, and in doing so walked away with a cooooooooool $750. We note that the girls he happened to be competing against, including the one who lists Paris Hilton as a hero, are still toughing it out.

Speaking of the ladies in the White Room Of Mental Torture, the Big Brother site reports that Kara revealed she "can't wait to go to the 16th chapel". White Room related insanity, or just stupid? You decide.

* "Push the button". Yes, we know it's rubbish. We're sick. Back off.

We're not entirely sure what you're about to see is revealing, earth-shattering or enough to send the gossip magazine editors into a frothing tizzy. Nonetheless, it is an insight into how boring an awards night can actually be if you're not watching it from the comfort of the couch in your lounge room. Be grateful.

Our Top Secret Defamer Operative sent us the following text messages, reproduced in order, during the course of the evening.

Oh, and we have some sexy sexy red carpet pics taken by Team Defamer Australia (Sydney Branch) which we'll put up quite shortly. So that will be lovely.

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· The PM, not content with a week of front pages last year, reminds us that we like rubbish.
· ... and then turns his busy schedule to Snoop.
· Bollywood star too busy with curry houses and illegal kisses (left) to care about our House.
· Chaser boys declare: "We'll only sell out if someone offers us enough money."
· Face drawer touches down to summons from papparazzi king.
· MTV Video Music Awards keep us up late. Tune back later for the stories that everyone's really talking about, or hit the jump for the full list of winners.

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