Saturday, April 28, 2007
Spinal Tap Pledges To Fight Global Warming By Reducing Spontaneous Drummer-Combustion Emissions
12:12PM Defamer Hollywood | · Spinal Tap reunites, with semi-amusing results. · There’s nothing at all weird about Tom Cruise and Katie Holmes’ marriage, says official Scientology spokesfriend Jenna Elfman. · Tracy Morgan to saw off own foot, go on bender. · Thora Birch finds the idea that her dad tried to direct her sex scene absurd. That’s not how movie sets work, silly tabloids! · Warning: Under no circumstances should you refer to Hunter Tylo’s rack as shelf-like, as that apparently angers her lawyers. Also: Who’s Hunter Tylo? More »
NBC Gives You A Chance To Say A Proper Goodbye To Matt, Danny, Jordan, And Lobster Boy
11:01AM Defamer Hollywood | NBC’s website quietly brings good–nay, great, shout-Huzzah!-to-the-heavens-and-slaughter-the-fatted-calf–news to Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip’s legion of affluent, upscale, and long-suffering fans: The show will return to the airwaves on Thursday, May 24, presumably to burn off the remainder of its first-season episodes, just one day after the end of May sweeps and a week after the network is expected to announce a Sorkin-free Fall lineup at the upfronts. Of course, maverick NBC president Kevin Reilly could shock the world by taking the stage in NY and announcing he’s giving the show another 22 episodes, explaining to a room full of disbelieving advertisers, “Come on, it’s Aaron Fucking Sorkin! He made The West Wing! I know this sounds crazy now, but If you’d read his breakdown for the second season, where Matt and Danny decide to run in the presidential primary against Obama and Hillary, you’d understand. It’s going to work this time, I can really feel it.” ‘Studio 60′ Returning in May [Zap2it.com] Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip [NBC.com] Previously: ‘Studio 60′ CancellationWatch: Sorkin And Company Quietly Playing Out The String [Defamer] More »
Larry Birkhead: Last Legal Roadblock To Dannielynn’s L.A. Homecoming Crossed
9:55AM Defamer Hollywood | A final attempt by Anna Nicole Smith’s tenacious, pug-faced mother Virgie Arthur to prevent paternity sweepstakes winner Larry Birkhead from returning to the U.S. with daughter Dannielynn Hope Marshall Stern Birkhead (according to her reissued birth certificate!) has been shot down by a Bahamian court: Virgie Arthur’s appeal to block Larry Birkhead from leaving the Bahamas with Dannielynn has been turned down, Access Hollywood’s Tony Potts reports from inside the courtroom. One judge called Arthur’s appeal “weak,” and ordered her to pay $3,000 in attorney’s fees for wasting the court’s time. With that final hurdle cleared, Dannielynn’s local debut is surely just moments away. Should you happen upon the happy pair zipping up a Beverly Center escalator on their way to Pottery Barn Kids, sharing a lunch of Cobb salad and mashed banana on The Ivy’s patio, or heading into a Hollywood Blvd. tattoo parlor for Dannielynn’s first lower back etching of her mother, feel free to take in the happy scene from afar, sensitive to father and daughter’s privacy needs in these crucial bonding moments. Larry Has Birth Certificate; Virgie Arthur’s Appeal Denied [AccessHollywood.com] More »
What’s Between Alexis Arquette’s Legs Is None Of Your Business
8:39AM Defamer Hollywood | Having concluded that her popular drag persona wasn’t satisfactorily scratching her transgendered itch, Alexis Arquette opted to kick it up a notch and commit to the whole sex-change shebang. Alexis Arquette: She’s My Brother, premiering Monday at the Tribeca Film Festival, is the story of that transformation. But, as she told reporters at yesterday’s press conference, all the juicy stuff about the actual surgery has ended up, for lack of a better expression, on the cutting room floor: Once seated for the Q&A, she reapplied her lip gloss and demurely crossed her legs at the knee. And for those wondering exactly what’s happening underneath, you’ll never know. More »
‘I Hate Corporations’ Website Suggests ‘Will & Grace’ Trial Foreman May Have Had Bias Against Corporations
6:39AM Defamer Hollywood | Will & Grace creators Max Mutchnick and David Kohan sued NBC Studios for (this might be a good time for any out-of-work sitcom writers to leave the room) $55 million in 2003, claiming the studio negotiated a substandard licensing fee for the series with its sister network. In a stunning turn of events, the judge tossed the verdict and canned the jury foreperson moments before the verdict was to be read: Los Angeles Superior Court Judge Warren Ettinger was confronted with a mistrial motion filed by NBC’s legal team, alleging [jury foreman Dean] Hartwell’s misconduct in concealing a “bias” during voir dire. NBC claims in the motion that it discovered Hartwell’s [corporation-critical] Web site, www.deanhartwell.com, the night before the verdict was to be read. The jury had been deliberating since April 16. [...] The announcement that deliberations would have to begin “anew” was greeted with gasps and sighs by the jurors. A female juror sat with her mouth open, shaking her head. And the twists keep coming: A surprise settlement was reached today by both parties. Luckily, the writers’ new studio, Warner Bros. Television, has no corporate ties to CBS, home of their upcoming autobiographical sitcom, guaranteeing that no conflicts of interest will interfere in netting them top dollar for every hilarious script about writing partners buddies who spend their time unsuccessfully trying to duplicate their success and suing the network who launched them for obnoxious sums of money. Verdict, Foreperson Tossed in ‘Will & Grace’ Trial [THR Esq.] More »
Friday Funtime: Hawking Flies
4:53AM Defamer Hollywood | We’re just going to be up front about this: We have absolutely no good reason to post the above photo, and we’re not even going to bother casting Tim Blake Nelson in the Discovery Channel’s Zero Gravity: The Incredible True Story of Stephen Hawking’s 25 Seconds of Flight to give ourselves even the flimiest of Hollywood tie-ins as an excuse. On a magical Friday morning like this one, when anything seems possible, just knowing that even a 65-year-old genius astrophysicist’s wildest dreams can come true is justification enough. [Photo: AP] Hawking flies weightless aboard jet [Yahoo! News] More »Alec Baldwin Finally Has His Say On ‘The View’
4:11AM Jess McGuire |
All-Baldwin Friday Morning continues here at Defamer with the above clip of the alienated, shouty dad’s highly anticipated appearance on today’s episode of The View, a segment so exhaustively previewed in the media that its actual broadcast was doomed to anticlimax. Still, even if we feel we’ve read every obligatory, publicly contrite word before, our role in any celebrity’s televised Redemption Tour is to patiently listen and nod along as if we’re hearing it all for the first time, lest crisis managers decide such desperation moves have lost their effectiveness and deprive of us future talk show mea culpas.
BONUS! The LAT exhaustively chronicles Baldwin and Basinger’s tumultuous relationship. Don’t miss the bit about how the actress used a Luna bar to interfere with her ex-husband’s “therapeutic involvement” in their daughter’s life.
The View [ABC.com]
Baldwin-Basinger: Look back in anger [LAT]
More » 
‘Grey’s Anatomy’ Sneaks A Swollen Scrotum Past Network Censors
4:07AM Defamer Hollywood | Viewers of last night’s Grey’s Anatomy were treated to a surprise cameo appearance–or two, to be precise. As the staff of Seattle Grace stood transfixed, a patient unveiled his massive testicles, which dangled briefly into the frame like a pair of fleshy, deformed grapefruit. As it turns out, the Cisco Adlerian stones were actually the result of [SPOILER ALERT] spectacular genetics, and the patient had merely shown up for his annual physical–a routine procedure that quickly took on intimidating proportions, requiring the combined strength of Drs. McDreamy, McSteamy, and McChokey just to lift a single elephantine teste before ordering the patient to turn to the right and cough. Grey’s Anatomy Went “Nuts” Last Night [Towleroad] More »
