Friday, December 28, 2007
Short Ends: Taking Our Homie’s Weed
12:04PM Defamer Hollywood | We bestow the Defamer Medal of Heroism upon Dr. Mark Lowe, who helped save the life of a man shot point blank in the middle of a crowded Colorado Blvd. in Old Town Pasadena last night, and whose clinical emphasis on the word “weed” we’ve now savored approximately two dozen times. For the love of God, we beg you not to click on this photo of Keith Richards Photoshopped to have two mouths where his eyes should be. Please! Don’t! We beg of you! The LAT has a list about all the reasons they–gasp!–hate end-of-year lists. Well, whatever, LAT. We love lists. Particularly the AFI’s annual Moments of Significance, which, uh…celebrate the significant moments of our lives? “The Hollywood writers strike, the iPhone and the ‘hyper-tabloidization’ of television news” top this year’s list. Eddie Murphy is reportedly set to “wed any minute now in the South Pacific.” That smashing sound is a hundred 4 a.m. Yukon Mining Co. patrons’ hearts shattering. More »
Poll: Angelina Heaven-Sent Saviour of Humanity; Madonna Shrewd Opportunist Who Also Can’t Sing
11:31AM Defamer Hollywood | Angelina Jolie can add another superlative feather in her cap: she’s a poll-topper in the all-important Best Celebrity Humanitarian of 2007 caucus. Voters chose the adoptive mother of several Third World tykes specifically because they believe her charitable efforts not to be a calculated effort to land atop the very Best Celebrity Humanitarian poll. From the Reuters report: “People aren’t stupid,” said Peter Walker, director of the Feinstein International Famine Center at Tufts University. “They can really sense when it’s just an endorsement and when somebody really means it. Someone like Angelina Jolie comes across as having more integrity than some celebrities and a greater sense that she doesn’t just do this for the publicity.” More »
Sean Connery Held in Contempt by Judge: ‘You’re Annoying’
10:30AM Defamer Hollywood | Sean Connery isn’t just a smooth and dashing Scot, he’s also a compulsively litigious thorn in the side of New York State Supreme Court Justice Marcy Friedman. It seems the septuagenarian is engaged in an endless game of “Suit, Countersuit” with his neighbour, in an enmity-charged relationship not seen since Bond thwarted Dr. No. Appropriately, his neighbour’s name is Mr. Sultan: The legal dispute between Sean Connery and his downstairs neighbors has a fed-up judge telling both sides to cool it. More »
Dope
10:04AM Defamer Hollywood | We can all breathe a little bit easier now that we know that the “narcotic” found on Mischa Barton during her DUI arrest was, in fact, marijuana. (To be honest, we thought California classifies that stuff as a “holistic food additive”.) We also now have access to heartbreaking images of a babushka-wrapped Barton–accidentally, we’re sure, evoking Benazir Bhutto–being led away from the the jail where she spent the night to her parents’ waiting car. A sobering event for all involved, to be sure. [Page Six]
Charged
9:51AM Defamer Hollywood | Celebrity DUI Christmas continues–sort of. Early Tom Cruise screen love interest Rebecca De Mornay, whom we mistakenly thought couldn’t so much as get arrested in this town, was charged today for being picked up by police October 30, after the hand that rocked her steering wheel led them to suspect she might be driving under the influence. (She was: She blew a .09.) Her court date is December 31st, “but she does not have to appear”. [TMZ] More »
Alba Engaged
9:39AM Defamer Hollywood | Wonderful news everyone! In a Super! Duper! People! Alba! Shotgun! Wedding! Exclusive!, the subject of many a pubescent male self-love fantasy has been proposed to by Cash Warren, the man responsible for the expanding baby-bump soon to be defiantly bared on the cover of a fashion glossy. Finally, with Alba officially off the market, casting agents and directors will finally be able to consider her for the kinds of meaty roles she’s long craved, only to see herself passed over for dowdier, less available actresses. [People] More »
The One Where Jennifer Aniston Might Be Pregnant
9:35AM Defamer Hollywood | Is on the cover of the National Enquirer this week: Jen, whom you might remember as having had a little headline-hogging romance with a certain hunky actor (Tate Donovan) a few years back, has, in the past, been speculated to have put a baby on the backburner (not literally) so as to pursue a film career. Box office returns suggest that she might now try reproducing instead. [Enquirer] More »
Mischa Barton DUI Mugshot One For The Ages
9:29AM Defamer Hollywood | Pencils down, everyone! We have the Official Mischa Barton 2007 Drugs-And-Alcohol, Not Just Alcohol, DUI Mugshot for you courtesy of TMZ–and it’s a doozy. We can practically hear Imogen Heap’s “Hide and Seek” playing over it. Those of you who guessed half-smile, you win. Those of you who guessed Nick Nolte hair, you win too. And to astute commenter Muzzy Van Hossmere, who went all in with the “‘crying from one eye’ technique she perfected on The O.C.,” well–you’ve won big, our friend. Your wall-sized, Warholian lithograph of the image, suitable for framing, is in the mail. Mischa Barton Busted for DUI [TMZ] More »
Brendan Fraser’s Kids To Soon Ask, ‘Mummy, Where’s Mummy?’
9:20AM Defamer Hollywood | And you thought they wouldn’t last. Actually, you probably haven’t thought about them at all, but Revenge of the Mummy: The Ride star Brendan Fraser, and his wife, Afton Smith (“Ursala’s Friend” in George of the Jungle) are splitting after nine years. Nine years of marriage. In Hollywood years, that’s like not getting divorced at all. People reports: Brendan Fraser and his wife Afton, married since 1998, are going their separate ways. The Mummy star, 39, announced through his publicist Wednesday that the couple are ending their marriage. “They continue to maintain a close and caring friendship,” representative Ina Treciokas said in a statement, the Associated Press reports. More »
