Saturday, December 22, 2007
Ashton Kutcher Offers Christmas Greetings As Destitute, Drunk, Reindeer-Humping Santa Claus
10:00AM Defamer Hollywood | In easily his most nuanced, touching performance since the revelatory scene in Dude, Where’s My Car? in which the actor’s face slowly twists into a mask of devastation and confusion as he realizes his beloved vehicle is indeed missing, Ashton Kutcher, in a video “holiday card” for his Katalyst Films production company, movingly portrays a Santa Claus beset by the acrimonious breakdown of talks with an unreasonable Elf Guild and a coordinated walkout by his trusted team of reindeer. More »
NSFW
9:45AM Defamer Hollywood | We can honestly think of no better justification for the internet than its function as a place where admirers of celebrity peen can share their collections with the rest of the world. Enjoy this impressive NSFW gallery of full-frontal (and some rear-al) celebrity male nudity, featuring everyone from McDreamy to McDorff. [ONTD] More »
Sacha Baron Cohen Mourns The Death Of Borat
9:30AM Defamer Hollywood | During a rare interview in which chameleonic prankster Sacha Baron Cohen answered questions without retreating into the one of his characters (apparently, the marketing team for Sweeney Todd felt that conducting junket appearances as singing, enormously beschlonged barber Adolfo Pirelli wasn’t the way to go for their film), Cohen confirmed that he has no choice but to kill off both Ali G and Borat, the alter-egos he used to torment scores of clueless politicians, intolerant frat boys and litigious driving instructors. Laments Cohen about the old friends he now must sacrifice upon the altar of success: “When I was being Ali G and Borat I was in character sometimes 14 hours a day and I came to love them, so admitting I am never going to play them again is quite a sad thing,” he said. More »
Turning 41 Behind Bars, Kiefer Just Wants To Be Alone With His Thoughts
9:15AM Defamer Hollywood | Our rough calculations bring us to Day 17 of Kiefer Sutherland’s 48-day stint in the Glendale pokey – perhaps the writers strike can lend us their ring girl – and while we’ve already established that this would be a bleak Christmas (and birthday) for Kief, bereft of cupcakes, hearty Tannenbaum tacklings, and single malt holiday cheer, we barely knew the extent of it: PageSix.com has learned exclusively that Kiefer’s pre-screened visitor list has just two people on it: attorney Blair Berk, and his doctor. More »
P.S. Critics Hated This Movie: A Round-Up
9:10AM Defamer Hollywood | At long last, P.S. I Love You, a heart-string-tugging romantic fable about a gay Spartan warrior and a drag king boxer’s inability to make love work, arrives in theatres today. As promising as that setup sounds, the reviews are mostly terrible, with the Hilary Swank/Gerard Butler vehicle inspiring movie critics to some of their most creatively bilious work in recent memory: Everything about her is hard: her chiseled jawline, her abs – even her eyes, which can radiate fear and anger with such force, are incapable of softening enough to make her turn as Holly, who is supposed to be klutzy and lovably unfocused, believable. [Chicago Tribune] This movie doesn’t have enough fresh air to play on Oxygen. Its agenda might be epistolary, but its brain is covered in Post-its. [Boston Globe] More »
Lynne Spears Parenting Handbook Still A Go After Being Reclassified As Horror Fiction
9:00AM Defamer Hollywood | When news first broke that Jamie Lynn Spears, the up-and-coming, 16-year-old sister to down-and-going, 26-year-old Britney Spears, had made up her mind and was keeping her baby, those looking for someone to blame instantly turned to Lynne Spears – a big-league stage mother seemingly incapable of keeping her litter in check. Now, the publisher of what was widely reported to have been a guide to good parenting authored by Lynne leaps to her defense, claiming the book was in fact a cautionary tale about the pitfalls of breeding children for fame–a subject on which Lynne is arguably the world’s foremost expert: “Extra” has learned that although Lynne Spears’ parenting book has been postponed, the publishers announced today that she is still moving forward with the story. In addition, Thomas Nelson, Inc. is insisting that the book is not a manual on how to parent: It’s a warning. More »
Other Things That Unleash Sherri Shepherd’s Xmas Freak: $1,000 Shots Of Scotch
8:30AM Defamer Hollywood | Yes, yes, we know what you’re going to say: we’re unhealthily obsessed with virtually every fascinating word issued forth from the mouth of The View co-host Sherri Shepherd, the ascendant, Earth-flattening daytime TV superstar who’s provided so many memorable moments in her short tenure on the show that we hardly miss Rosie O’Donnell’s daily thrashing of a physically overmatched Elizabeth Hasselbeck. Today, however, we feel that we should recognize the role the program’s producers have played in creating the Shepherd Sensation: Sure, Sherri might be the one dropping the 23-carat-gold-schmeared bagels and yelping about how a $1,000 glass of Scotch makes her “hot like a ho” (those looking for a cheaper freak-releasing option can always just supply some eggnog) but it’s The View’s behind-the-scenes masterminds who put her into these situations where her comedic talents can truly shine. The View [ABC.com] Previously: Spiked Eggnog, Santa Hats Allow Sherri Shepherd To Unleash Her Inner Christmas Freak [Defamer] More »
Martha Stewart’s Secret To Getting Celebrities To Open Up Lies In Her Very Sharp Knives
7:15AM Defamer Hollywood | Can we safely confide in you that the one person we’ve been able to rely upon this holiday season, there to comfort us daily with homemade butterscotch eggnog recipes and the proper shade of Krylon with which to gild our manteltop wreaths, is our rock, Martha Stewart? More »
Trade Roundup: Golden Globes Party Planners The Latest Victims Of The Writers Strike
7:00AM Defamer Hollywood | · The looming threat of a strike-induced cancellation of the Golden Globes ceremony has thrown the party-planning world into chaos: How can anyone commit half a million bucks to fill a venue with chocolate fountains, imposing mounds of peeled shrimp, and ice sculptures of prohibitive best actor favourite Daniel Day Lewis when there’s a chance the whole night might be called off? [Variety] · The producers of High School Musical hope to recreate their teen-narcotising magic for MTV with the movie American Mall. [THR] Universal is “downplaying expectations” for the debut of Charlie Wilson’s War this weekend, anticipating that even the combination of Tom Hanks and Julia Roberts will be no match for the new National Treasure movie and the return of Will Smith’s I Am Legend. [Variety] [Photo: Southern Chocolate Fountains] More »
