Tuesday, December 11, 2007
News Ltd Report Urban Myths; Shocking Tale Of Girl Confronted By Hitchhiker Bearing Head Of Boyfriend On Dark Country Road Up Next
4:47PM Clem Bastow | Ever wondered what the kangaroo’s deadliest enemy is?
You’d probably say something like “cars”, or “wild boars”, wouldn’t you? Well, you wouldn’t if you paid any attention to the photo editors over at News Ltd, who’d like to inform you that you, sir, are sadly mistaken:
That’s right, “sources say” a shark ate a kangaroo that “apparently” paddled out into the ocean along Victoria’s surf coast.
Even the title – “Shark attacks roo: is it true?” – suggests that “Michaela Farrington, the Geelong Advertiser” (if that is your real name, boy who cried wolf) might have possibly gone for another grande vanilla frappacino while waiting for her sources’ outlandish reports to be confirmed. More » 
‘Man-Band’ Age No Barrier To Take That Stalkers
1:16PM Clem Bastow | Dear old Take That; first they’re in the wars because they can’t do the splits or breakdance like they once could, now they’re being chased by lithe young 20-somethings.
Which would be all well and good, were it not for the fact that said 20-something is a crazed fan, and so suddenly their visions of comely virgins become nightmares of Stacey from Wayne’s World.
Father-of-two Gary Barlow, 36, and Jason Orange, 37, were already in bed when she moved in just after midnight. Mark, 35, who has one son, went out for a smoke and the girl followed him to chat.
Our source adds: “Then he told her he was off to bed and she made a dash for the lift. She looked crazed and refused to get out so he yelled for security.
“In the end she was thrown out of the hotel and that was that.”
Howard Donald, 39, a father-of-two who suffered a collapsed lung after a strenuous dance move on the tour, told a friend: “That girl was mad. She shouldn’t have drunk so much.”
A hotel spokesman said it was all handled by the band’s tour managers.
It’s good to see that some pop stars know how to act their age…
Nice to see The Mirror managing to get one last stab at the granddads of the reunion circuit.
Back for good? Back for seconds at the seniors’ community lunch buffet, more like! More » 
Amy Winehouse Round-Up: Fashionably Wasted (Or Waisted?)
11:20AM Clem Bastow | Dear old Karl Lagerfeld might want to start eating something other than two lettuce leaves and a glass of air for his daily meals, since the lack of food seems to be driving him mental: he reckons Winegums is his new fashion icon.
Now, about three months ago, we would’ve actually agreed with him. She looked especially good in that fluoro green/yellow mini-dress with the red heels and bag, wherever she wore that.
Now though? Unless his diffusion line is going to be inspired by Michelle and Ferret, we’re inclined to move him down a few notches on the “fashion genius” scales.
At Lagerfeld’s London show last week, ladies with beehives in every shape and height strutted down the catwalk in Amy-style clothing.
Karl said of the singer: “She is a beautiful, gifted artist. And I very much like her hairdo. I took it as an inspiration. Because, in fact, it was also Brigitte Bardot’s hairdo in the late Fifties and Sixties. And now Amy has made it her own style.
“So, when I saw her, I knew it was the right moment. Amy … she is the new Brigitte.”
He then introduced his new chief of staff, who was in actual fact a standard lamp with a packet of Minties taped to the shade, and insisted that the gathered press address the lamp as “Coco”, before getting into a fridge box with the lamp and saying “Brrm, brrm – the press conference is over, ladies and gentlemen! My assistant and I are now going to drive to China to source fabrics for the new collection.” More » 
Two Tickets Become One As Spice Girls’ Tour Dates Empty Out
11:05AM Clem Bastow | Well, it couldn’t have been all wine and roses (or whatever the bloody saying is) for the Spice “Girls” on their reunion world tour. They’ve enjoyed a number of high-profile television gigs, a fairly warm critical response, and good ticket sales – until now, that is.
They recently played the second of two dates in Las Vegas and the auditorium was about as “full” as North Geelong Basketball Stadium was when we went to see Spice Force: The Australian Spice Girls Experience in 1997.
Promoters boasted of a sell-out tour, but it appears a number ticket holders had second thoughts about seeing the Spice Girls perform in concert last night.
Almost half of the seats in the Mandalay Arena auditorium were empty as the group took to the stage for their second show in Las Vegas.
…It’s not the first disappointment the Spice Girls have encountered since their reunion.
Their charity comeback single Headlines (Friendship Never Ends) is the worst selling Children in Need song ever after it scraped into the UK midweek charts at No.10.
It’s funny, isn’t it – if you were a struggling young indie band, it’s safe to say you’d pretty much lose your shit if your single “scraped in” at #10. But this obviously means the death knell for the Spicy reunion.
We gather that these “friends forever” will be gagging to never see each other ever again come the final dates of this tour. More » 
Andrew O’Keefe Really Is The New Bert Newton!
10:30AM Clem Bastow | For yonks we’ve been holding on to our personal view that Deal Or No Deal host and telethon co-anchor-for-hire Andrew O’Keefe should be being groomed as the new Bert Newton.
Well, it seems our dream may not be that far-fetched, with news that O’Keefe is being tentatively given the a-okay (we know, HILARIOUS!!) for his own late-night (but not late-night) chat show on Seven, after they’d initially turned him away.
Not content with his workload this year, which consisted of hosting Deal Or No Deal, The Rich List, Weekend Sunrise and a cameo on Kath and Kim, O’Keefe has been rewarded for his persistence, after the trial episodes of the Jay Leno-style show was initially knocked back by Seven executives in September.
The former lawyer’s own production company is understood to be reworking the concept, which had the working title of AOK, now likely to be renamed The Late Andrew O’Keefe.
Seven sources told Confidential yesterday that the network’s new HD channel, where the program will appear, had allowed for the extra “air time” to give the show a second shot at the greenlight.
“The show will definately happen, but when it will air hasn’t been decided yet,” a spokeswoman said.
“The Late Andrew O’Keefe”! The man is clearly a genius!
Also, in light of Channel Ten heading down the gurgler faster than a lead turd and Channel Nine dithering, as usual (and we all know the ABC and SBS don’t really count in these sorts of discussions, bless), could this mean that 2008 is the year of Seven?
And just who is Milco?? More » 
Rogue Traders Make New Video Clip; Later, Cure Cancer, Find New Planet, Etc
10:05AM Clem Bastow | Natalie Bassinghthwaighte & The Rogue Traders filmed a new video clip just the other day, and it was such a world-beating, groundbreaking affair that News Ltd saw fit to give us a blow by blow on every fascinating miniscule detail – including a gallery of the many faces of Nat Bass!
We know, it’s like Christmas has come early. Just try to keep yourselves together for the time being; maybe have a Bex and a nice lie down.
The clip for I Never Liked You also pairs the pop rock outfit with some of the film world’s heavyweights.
With a storyline calling for Bassingthwaighte and James Ash to bust some serious kung fu moves, fight choreographer Kyle Rowling and stunt coordinator Richard Boue – whose credits include Star Wars – were brought on board.
A visual effects team responsible for Harry Potter, Bridget Jones, 300 and Happy Feet also helped make the singer and her bandmates look like they were starring in a blockbuster.
“Even with the flexibility from my dancing days, the day after we shot the kung fu stuff, I could hardly walk,” Bassingthwaighte said.
Yes, those special effects in Bridget Jones were truly something to behold!
Honestly? We know that the entertainment news starts slowing down at this time of the year, what with the ratings off-season and people heading home for holidays, but seriously.
When they’re talking Rogue Traders you know they’re getting really desperate. More » 
Jack Nicholson Admits To Have Spreading Himself A Little Thin
9:30AM Defamer Hollywood | It’s often in this relative slow-news stretch before the holidays that some of the most astonishing celebrity revelations come to light: Perhaps, with New Year’s resolutions right around the corner, they feel the time is right to relieve themselves of something weighing heavily upon their conscience, such as, say, the 9000 illegitimate children they’ve roughly calculated to have sired throughout their four-decade reign atop Hollywood’s Perennial Bachelor Mountain. One can’t help but wonder what ever became of that shit-grinning, Gucci-tortoiseshell-wearing generation, a diaspora of mini-Jacks and Jills that spreads from the Hills of Hollywood as far as the shores of Mozambique and beyond. I’m Jack the dad of 9,000 [The Sun] More »Sherri Shepherd Demands That Mitt Romney Explain Mormonism To Her
9:20AM Defamer Hollywood | Say what you will about intellectually incurious The View co-host Sherri Shepherd, but you can’t accuse her of not performing her due diligence in picking a political candidate. Before she’s willing to make up her mind about Mitt Romney’s fitness for office, she wants some explanation about the Mormon stuff that’s making her uneasy. Does his segment of Christianity, like hers, predate Judaism and ancient Greece? Do they share her controversial views on the shape of the Earth? And, most crucially: if elected, is he going to build a couple of new homes adjacent to the White House that share a secret backyard, turning our nation’s First Residence into some kind of polygamist stronghold, just like those people on Big Love? Once she has the answers to hard questions like these in hand, she’ll finally be ready to make an informed choice about Romney and his mysterious faith. The View [ABC.com] More »
