Monday, December 3, 2007
Casey Donovan – Financially Fucked, But Cheerful Nonetheless
5:43PM Jess McGuire | Bless her cotton socks… Former Australian Idol winner Casey Donovan really is all about the music and appears to have developed a mature understanding regarding the financial burdens associated with being an “artiste”.
Three years ago she was the winner of Australian Idol;
these days Casey Donovan is broke but creatively fulfilled.
The singer, who was dramatically dumped by Sony BMG, has
released an independent EP, titled Eye2Eye. It is available
mainly via download on the internet but Donovan has also
self-funded 2000 printed copies of the CD for general
distribution.
“Oh my God, I am so poor right now, but you know, that’s the way
it is,” she said, with a laugh. “Hopefully I’ll recoup it all.”
Yup, it seems she’s learned the number one lesson integral to the
emotional growth of any Australian warbler prepared to face facts – the
Oz music scene is a fucking tough place, and you’re more than likely
going to spend most of your time broke as a joke unless your last name
happens to be Minogue.
Still, we commend Casey’s jovial approach to it all! We are rooting for you, and also hoping that your training with Guy Leech is going swimmingly.
More » 
Spice Girl Who Never Was Sez She Would’ve Been The Best Of All Of Them
3:26PM Clem Bastow | Funny how Lianne Morgan – aka the one you didn’t even know was dumped from the Spice Girls before they made it big – didn’t think to say anything about her failed shot at pop stardom until a) the Spicies were on their mega-selling reunion world tour and b) she was launching her website and downloadable songs, isn’t it?
Yes, Morgan, who was in the initial lineup of the group before being booted for Mel C, has aired her displeasure at not having been given a chance at stardom because she was apparently “too old” at 23, and thinks she had the best voice of any of them.
The hopefuls were whittled down to five – Lianne, Victoria, Geri, Mel B and Michelle Stephenson – who would soon be sacked and replaced by Emma Bunton.
Lianne was not immediately impressed with her new band.
“We sounded like a cat’s choir,” she said.
But, still excited, she swapped numbers with the rest of the girls and headed back to Wales to wait for her pop career to take off.
A month later she received a letter telling her she was too old for the group and was replaced by Sporty Spice Melanie Chisholm, who was three years younger.
“I cried for days,” she said.
“I couldn’t understand how I could be too old, when I was the same age as Geri.”
Well, we don’t want to be mean or anything, but could it possibly have been something to do with her sense of personal style at the time?
In any case, if she is such an amazing vocalist, we’ll be watching www.liannemorgan.co.uk with keen interest over the next few weeks. No doubt the Spice Girls will be dropped from their record label as this new singing superstar is rocketed straight to the top! More » 
So Delta *Is* Marrying The Potato After All
2:57PM Clem Bastow | You know how everyone reported that Delta thought she was too young to become a stepmother – officially – to Brian McFadden’s kids and baulked at his romantic marriage proposal?
The pair have almost disappointedly had to alert everyone to the fact that they are engaged after all, which has left the press about as thrilled and excited as Liberace upon finding a “CLOSED INDEFINITELY” sign on the door of his local Swarovski rhinestone warehouse.
The statement reads: “The couple were hoping to keep the news private however they feel it is important to now confirm the exciting news.”
Brian and Delta met when recording a duet together while he was still married to drug-addict Atomic Kitten singer Kerry Katona, with whom he has two children.
They began dating shortly after Brian’s marriage to Kerry fell apart.
Since then, McFadden has been involved in a divorce battle that cost him over £70,000 but is said to be re-launching his career in Hollywood.
Clearly the UK press are really fond of the former Potato-Chipshops, if the number of sly digs in that excerpt are to be believed. Basically, reading between the lines there, he’s a washed up former pop wannabe who found a better option while married to his drug-addled washed-up wife, got taken to the cleaners by her and will probably fail in his desperate attempts to get his career back on track again.
As one of the astute commenters on the Mail’s website says, “The jungle [i.e. I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here!] beckons.” More » 
Natalie Gauci Sets The Charts On Fire (If By “Fire” You Mean “Damp Squib”)
2:40PM Clem Bastow | Looks like the Idol curse has claimed another female winner and Natalie Gauci’s debut single, Here I Am, has limped in at a “disappointing” #2.
This gives her the dubious honour of being the first Australian Idol winner not to have their single debut in the top spot, and is – all in all – a rather fitting end for the fifth season of the talent quest, which looks to have terminal rot setting in.
It debuted at No.2 with the less-than-stellar response partly due to the sledgling it got from Idol runner-up Matt Corby.
Gauci herself had admitted she as at first confused by the song but her overhaul of the track written by American hitmakers Lindy Robbins and Tom Leonard was undoubtedly a far better version than Corby offered.
…Download sales have yet to skyrocket in Australia hampered by broadband speeds. Even though Gauci’s Here I Am was available via Bigpond straight after her win a week ago, it only reached No.3 on ARIAs Digital Track Chart.
Well, honestly, Blind Deaf Dumb Freddie could have told you this would be the likely result.
If they insist on importing these wet power ballads for Idol releases, they need to be prepared for this result. Maybe back in 1997 when Faith Hill was big news they could’ve gotten away with it, but the Kids Of Today™ want something with a happening beat! More » 
YouTube Clip Of The Day
2:19PM Jess McGuire | If you’re not already a fan of British comedy program Peep Show, then we pity you. Head straight to your nearest video store/Amazon and get your paws on it.
The following clip was a bonus feature on the DVD for the first series. It is the greatest Big Brother audition tape pisstake we’ve ever had the pleasure of watching.
More » “Well Done, Team – But Stay Out Of The Drinks Fridge…”
1:48PM Jess McGuire | We rather enjoyed this little tidbit from today’s Crikey newsletter.
On the day the Channel Nine newsroom in Melbourne claimed victory
(Friday 30 November, by twisting the figures) in the ratings battle,
after a long hard fought year against Seven, the message from the
carpet strollers downstairs was not one of congratulations. Instead an
email was sent by Michael Venus on their behalf to the newsroom staff
telling them the bar was off limits.
What sort of world are we living in when our nation’s best journalists are deprived a rewarding post-Seven pounding beverage? A cruel, heartless one. Two thumbs down, Channel Nine! More » Big Brother Couple Break Up, Nation Struggles To Put Names To Faces
1:05PM Jess McGuire | When we read this piece in Confidential stating that Big Brother couple Andrew and Hayley had called it a day, we actually had to spend a minute or two trying to remember who the hell they were. Sadly indicative as to the likability factor of this years contestants…
The Big Brother experience has killed off the relationship between Hayley Luscott and Andrew Halas, who have split for good.
Halas instigated the break-up and has moved out of the couple’s apartment, blaming the Channel 10 show for the demise of their relationship.
The TV twosome dated for a year before entering the BB house in April as a secret couple.
Halas hinted the pair would walk down the aisle once the show’s hype blew over but said the wedding claims were constructed by producers as a ratings grab.
Of course, after you’ve been through the pain of watching the joining and then tearing asunder of an uber-Big Brother couple like Marty and Jess from series 2, you really find it hard to muster up tears for any other broken relationships associated with the program. More » 
News Bulletins To Warn Australians: Nicole Kidman Is Suing Everyone And You Might Be Next!
12:30PM Clem Bastow | She’s been in the midst of another court stoush, but it seems Nicole Kidman can’t get enough of that legalese.
You’d recall Our Nic was paid spastically large amounts of money to appear in that nonsense Chanel No.5 commercial that Our Baz made; naturally, she is considered a brand spokesperson for the best-selling perfume, and any suggestion that she isn’t bathing in it and drinking it every bedtime as a nightcap might be injurious to her status as such.
Well, if you’re planning on saying she likes a different fragrance, watch out: Nicole Kidman has a legal posse!
British broadsheet The Daily Telegraph is seriously on the nose with Kidman’s legal team after it ran an article alleging her favourite scent was Jo Malone’s White Jasmine and Mint – not Chanel No.5, with which Kidman has a sponsorship deal worth $12 million.
An item which appeared in the paper’s Spy gossip column last week claimed the actress had jeopardised her position as a celebrity spokeswoman for Chanel No.5 after she allegedly applied the Jo Malone scent while walking the red carpet at the London premiere of new film The Golden Compass.
The paper reported Kidman was “dabbing it on whenever she had a moment” during the A-list premiere, which she attended with husband Keith Urban.
The article continued cosmetic giant Chanel was allegedly unhappy with the actress, and that her behaviour had apparently constituted a “breach of contract”.
Kidman has gone further than turning her nose up at the report – last week she set media law firm Schillings on to the broadsheet.
In a statement, Schillings said the allegations were “entirely untrue” and “grossly defamatory”.
Bam! You smell that, Telegraph? It’s sure as hell not redolent of “white jasmine and mint”. That’s the sweet, sweet smell of being owned by Our Nic!
And if this all fails, she could always just send Chanel’s Karl Lagerfeld around to their houses in the dark of night; that’d scare anyone into obeying every word you said.
“Yes, Nicole, you can have our firstborn and these five bags of used $50 notes totalling $1.5m, just get Freddy Krueger’s cousin out of our anteroom, please!” More » 
Frighteningly Coiffed Star Of The X Factor Is Captivated By Our Nic
11:47AM Jess McGuire | Sure, Nicole Kidman might be a little bummed to hear she’s no longer Hollywood’s highest paid leading lady, but every cloud has a silver lining, doesn’t it? In Nicole’s case, she appears to have become an object of lust for the stand out star of the current series of Britain’s The X Factor, Welshman Rhydian Roberts.
Is it just us, or does he look like he wants to eat her with some fava beans and a nice Chianti? More » 
A Charming Song We Thought You Might Enjoy
11:46AM Jess McGuire | It has been a very full on few weeks here at Defamer Australia HQ, which means we’ve been easily distracted and forgotten to give you the heads up on a couple of things. Thankfully, today is the beginning of a “new era” and we’re going through our old To Blog list and banging up a few posts we feel are still extremely necessary for you to read.
At the beginning of last month, we meant to inform you that THE NEW AMY WINEHOUSE (NOT FUCKED UP EDITION) HAS BEEN LOCATED.
Her name is Nicole Atkins (and her band is called The Sea, a musical ensemble trumped by Jen Cloher’s backing band The Endess Sea, but still more impressive than The Lakes or The Backyard Water Feature) and this song made our brain explode with female Roy Orbison-esque goodness.
Here’s a link to her brilliant tune “The Way It Is”
Do you like? Do you? David Letterman just about soiled himself when she performed the track on his show, so we reckon she might just be The Next Big Thing TM, once everyone overseas gets tired of listening to the Leona Lewis song “Bleeding Love” over and over and over…
Here she is making David Letterman dirty his pants.Do yourself a favour, etc.
PS: Yes, the fact she is completely hot will probably not hold her back in any way. More » 
